Pregnant with a handicapped child

Jenneke87

Hi everybody,

As the title says I'm pregnant with a handicapped child. I got pregnant while using very heavy medication and despite precautions it happend. There's a 60//70% chance the child will be severly mentally and physically handicapped and an increased chance of the child not reaching the age of two.:(

I never imagined myself as a mom,nonetheless of a handicapped child and I have no idea what to expect or what to do for that matter. My question really is, is there anybody here with a handicapped child and what are your experiences. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

wmpdd3

I am not in the same situation, I cant imagine having to contend with the unknown while trying to prepare for your first child.

The only part I can identify with is, I also took precautions and still got pregnant. I found this very hard to talk about as there are so many who cannot get pregnant so easily.

I wish you the best of luck and hope there is a support group near you that can offer guidance and support.

The Big Red Button

How far along are you in the pregnancy?

Squiggler

OP, you don't say how far along you are, or whether you have had any scans done or tests that have confirmed that the baby does have a developmental issue.

60-70% chance of negative effects still allows 30-40% chance that your baby will be perfectly healthy and normal. No mother knows for certain that everything is ok until they hold the baby in their arms, and sometimes not even then, and worrying about babs is very much a part of every pregnancy.

Can you talk to your GP more? Have you attended a hospital?

Wishing you and baby all the best.

ariana`

I don't know how others feel but to me the word 'handicapped' is very outdated and makes me personally feel very uncomfortable. I have a friend and a family member who each have a child with special needs. And i know they would be horrified if anyone referred to their precious child with that term.

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this though, i can't imagine the shock of an unplanned pregnancy and the probability/possibility that your child may not be the perfect, healthy baby we all hope for. I think you should talk to a medical professional, maybe your GP or consultant, about support groups or counselling that may help you to deal with this.

I hope you get the support you need and that your pregnancy has the best possible outcome.

Neyite

I'm a little confused by your post - but I imagine you were very upset when you wrote it. Has your baby been diagnosed by a doctor as actually having special needs, or is it that you found out you were pregnant and have a 60%- 70% chance of having a child with special needs because of the medication you were taking?

If its the former, I would ask the consultant if I were you about local support groups, or other parents of children with the same condition. We have a couple of special needs issues in our family and in one case the adult who had a disability was able to talk to parents who had children with the same and show them that despite the condition he lives a full and happy life. The other special needs issue in our family was diagnosed as not surviving outside of the womb. We were preparing for a birth and a funeral together, however, while there are a lot of medical concerns, the child is now attending school, several years on and has defied the prognosis given by doctors.

I know I've given examples of happy outcomes above, and that isnt always the case though.

If you havent actually had the pregnancy diagnosed with the disability, but are going on what the side effects of the medication can be then I'd suggest nailing down a definitive diagnosis and get the facts for yourself first. Arm yourself with full knowledge of the condition. Get your consultant to give you contacts for other experts, here and abroad in the field and support.

Getting advice and support from other parents really depends on the medical condition - parents of deaf children for instance have very differing experiences to parents of CF children. The services that are provided for each condition vary so much that parents knowledge and advice they can give you on their childs condition may be entirely useless to you.

You may not feel like posting the condition here, but if you do, you may find people who have direct experience of it in their family who can suggest support and contacts that would help you.

Hugs.

cynder

First of all 'BIG HUGS' its a shock and you wont know for sure what the story is until the baby is born or maybe even the full implications until the baby is 2.

I have 3 kids, my first got diabetes type 1 at the age of 7, she is now 12 and has nearly died 3 times, there is a lot of work involved with looking after a child with diabetes, somedays its a nightmare, others are great. My second baby was born 5 weeks premature, he is almost 7 now and is doing well. My 3rd baby was a right flyer, crawled at 7 months and never stopped, at 2 they thought he might be autistic he was 4 and a half before they diagnosed him with a severe speech and language disorder, this impacted on his everyday life and caused behaviour difficulties, his reading and writing skills are severly impacted, his social skills are severly impacted. His now 5 and a half and since the age of 5 the improvement his made is great . His a wonderful child and i wouldnt change him for the world.

The turth of the matter is no one know what to expect, even if you have a healthy child things can turn ugly, BUT there is a lot of support out there and there are always people there to help you and the child. Care has never been better. 120 years ago my first born would have died at the age of 7 because there was no such thing as insulin. MY now 5 year old would not be talking in sentances if it wernt for the help of the early intervention services, by the way they are great and if your child is born with any issues, the child will attend there.

Every accomplishment they make, makes your heart melt, try keep a positive outlook.

I agree with the above poster " I think you should talk to a medical professional, maybe your GP or consultant, about support groups or counselling that may help you to deal with this. "

also with this "60-70% chance of negative effects still allows 30-40% chance that your baby will be perfectly healthy and normal. No mother knows for certain that everything is ok until they hold the baby in their arms, and sometimes not even then, and worrying about babs is very much a part of every pregnancy."

Good Luck....


I hope you get the support you need and that your pregnancy has the best possible outcome.