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So disappointed:(

  • 04-06-2012 12:08am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 532 ✭✭✭


    Hey Everybody,

    I'm new around here so just thought I'd introduce myself first :) I'm a 20 year old female, currently living in Galway and I'm an in the closet Bi-sexual.

    As of late I've been slowly easing my nearest and dearest (mainly my dad and two really close friends) into the idea of me being Bi, and so far they have been wonderful, I couldnt have wished for better support and reactions from them. However, this evening I was chatting with my best-friend and brought up how another friend of ours recently came out as lesbian, just to test the waters as to how she'd react to my situation.

    Anyhow long story short she basically said as far as she was concerned it wasnt natural and essentially wrong. I was gobsmacked. I then started to speak in hypothetical terms (i.e. "Well what if i said I had a girlfriend") and she said she wouldnt be happy but she'd accept it, but could never accept my girlfriend as a friend of her own. Again, I was gobsmacked and being honest heartbroken :(

    Now up until this, this girl has been one of the best friends you could ask for, i've had a tough time the past year and she has been a pillar of support. Now i'm just so confused as to what to do, do I tell her i'm Bi and see how things pan out? or do I wait until the day that I may be introducing her to my futre girlfriend? I'm really at a loss so any advice is very much appreciated.

    (Sorry about the long post :o)


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,339 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    I love how people tend to say "It;s not natural", as if gay people were created in a lab!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    It's a stinker alright.

    She'll either rethink things or she won't. if she a bright enough person chances are she'll come round to the idea once she's had a bit more exposure.
    an opinion like "it's not natural" is hardly defend-able and is obviously one she formed by thinking about the topic for only a short while.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 523 ✭✭✭carly_86


    Do Wat makes you happy not what makes others happy


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    OP, if your friend can't accept you as you are then she's not worth having as a friend. Don't let her own ignorance impact on your life.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 532 ✭✭✭ItAintMeBabe


    Thanks for the replys everyone :) I agree, I think I'll just have to wait and see if she can adjust to the idea of it in the future and if not, then we seriously need to look at the merits of our friendship. Thanks again guys, good to know there's people out there for support when needed :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,790 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    People often say sh1te that they don't mean. It was probably an over reaction on their part.

    No point getting heartbroken yet. Tell her when you are ready and see how things go from there.

    It's hardly the end of the world finding out that one of your friends is gay/bi. They'll get over it. And if they don't, then it's their problem.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,759 ✭✭✭Killer_banana


    It's unnatural. Well based on our genes polygynny and not monogamy is humans natural state but if you told homophobes that I don't think they'd up and leave their partners.

    Anyway, as everyone has said if she can't accept it then she doesn't deserve your friendship. Tbh I think if she really cares about you then she'll learn to accept. I guess tell her when you're ready to tell her and see how it goes.

    Good luck and glad to hear everyone else is taking it well. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,201 ✭✭✭ongarboy


    I think as well that people who don't have any loved ones that they personally know as LGBT often have preconceived notions which make them say comments similar to what your friend said. Then, when they are made aware that someone they love or hold dear is LGBT, they can change their opinion. It can be like "wow, if you, my best friend, is gay then gay people must be alright then". I know this is kind of a simple analogy and doesn't apply in all cases. Some people will not change their hardline views no matter what but that really then says more about them as a person than you and I hope those around you would not be like this.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    No point jumping the gun, OP. Tell her realities, not hypotheticals, before condemning the friendship.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 58 ✭✭whattotdo


    It's up to you OP but personally I'd tell your friend your bi,if she doesn't want to remain friends your probably best without her.As for the 'unnatural' comment,its a popular homophobic comment unfortunately.If I had a euro for everytime I've heard it...


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