Selfish parents?

Witchie

I fell yesterday and hurt my ankle and as my dad was at work and my mum, due to illness was not really able to drive, I had to drive for 3 hours to bring my sister to boat to go back to Scotland. This did not help my ankle and the pain was unbearable at times but I had no option.

I then went to work last nite (sitting watching a football match and doing a match report so not too much strain) and out for some drinks after the game, all while not able to put any pressure on my foot.

Today my ankle is really really sore, even just sitting with it raised and iced all day I'm in agony. As I have allergies to some pain killers I can only take panadol unless prescribed something else. I was advised by a football physio last nite to get it x rayed and wanted to do that today, but again my dad was working and couldnt drive me the 50 mins to the nearest A&E.

Some of my friends offered to drive me but I said no that I would get my dad to this evening or tomorrow.

I rang my dad and he told me its just probably a sprain and he hasnt time to be sitting in A&E and he is meant to be going for lunch tomorrow with some friends and has a party in the evening so he cant bring me then. He has said he will try find out if anyone he knows has a cure for sprain and I will be fine.

I am in agony and now hurting that my parents seem to be too selfish to care that I need to get checked over and be given painkillers that make me comfortable at least.

I spend my whole time running around for them and sorting stuff out for them and when I need their help I feel like am a burden.

About 6 years ago I broke my other ankle and when I rang my dad from the hospital to tell him he roared at me down the phone and called me for every eejit under the sun. He then calmed down and was great to me but it still hurts that I am seen as such a pain to them.

I dont feel like I can ask either of my friends that offered to drive me to the hospital to take me coz its not up to them to do this and one of them is a full time carer for her mum and it would be a major hassle and my other mate is so broke at the moment that for her to come in and collect me and bring me would be unfair and I know she would refuse money.

So basically I am left in pain that has me in a fog until Tuesday when the local Minor Injuries Unit in my closest hospital opens again and I will probably have to drive myself there.

Should I demand that my parents take me to hospital? Last year I spent hours sitting in A&E and driving my mother to appointments when she broke her wrist, is it wrong that I expect something similar in my time of need?

Pa Dee

Witchie wrote: »

I fell yesterday and hurt my ankle and as my dad was at work and my mum, due to illness was not really able to drive, I had to drive for 3 hours to bring my sister to boat to go back to Scotland. This did not help my ankle and the pain was unbearable at times but I had no option.

I then went to work last nite (sitting watching a football match and doing a match report so not too much strain) and out for some drinks after the game, all while not able to put any pressure on my foot.

Today my ankle is really really sore, even just sitting with it raised and iced all day I'm in agony. As I have allergies to some pain killers I can only take panadol unless prescribed something else. I was advised by a football physio last nite to get it x rayed and wanted to do that today, but again my dad was working and couldnt drive me the 50 mins to the nearest A&E.

Some of my friends offered to drive me but I said no that I would get my dad to this evening or tomorrow.

I rang my dad and he told me its just probably a sprain and he hasnt time to be sitting in A&E and he is meant to be going for lunch tomorrow with some friends and has a party in the evening so he cant bring me then. He has said he will try find out if anyone he knows has a cure for sprain and I will be fine.

I am in agony and now hurting that my parents seem to be too selfish to care that I need to get checked over and be given painkillers that make me comfortable at least.

I spend my whole time running around for them and sorting stuff out for them and when I need their help I feel like am a burden.

About 6 years ago I broke my other ankle and when I rang my dad from the hospital to tell him he roared at me down the phone and called me for every eejit under the sun. He then calmed down and was great to me but it still hurts that I am seen as such a pain to them.

I dont feel like I can ask either of my friends that offered to drive me to the hospital to take me coz its not up to them to do this and one of them is a full time carer for her mum and it would be a major hassle and my other mate is so broke at the moment that for her to come in and collect me and bring me would be unfair and I know she would refuse money.

So basically I am left in pain that has me in a fog until Tuesday when the local Minor Injuries Unit in my closest hospital opens again and I will probably have to drive myself there.

Should I demand that my parents take me to hospital? Last year I spent hours sitting in A&E and driving my mother to appointments when she broke her wrist, is it wrong that I expect something similar in my time of need?

You won't be left in a fog of pain if you take your friends up on their offer to take you

KittyeeTrix

I cannot see how you would expect to demand that your parents take you to the hospital especially in light of the fact that they work/are ill and you have friends that have offered??

Do you mind me asking what age you are??

strandroad

Do not neglect your injury, don't wait, you may end up with something nasty. Yes, your parents (your dad, actually) should step up to the plate but if they don't you can't make them. I would ask the friend who is broke; if she won't accept the money find a way to repay her with a gift or help she could use.

Sometimes your family is just of no use; it's sad but it's one of the facts of life. It's great that you have good friends, cherish that.

KittyeeTrix wrote: »

I cannot see how you would expect to demand that your parents take you to the hospital especially in light of the fact that they work/are ill and you have friends that have offered??

In fairness, the father's excuse is that he has his lunch/party, so it's not like he's tied up at work.

Witchie

My late 30s. I dont mean demand as such but more beg that he drives me in the morning.

Witchie

Part of the problem is I dont want to ask my friend as that means admitting that my dad wont take me and he should! I shouldnt have to rely on a friend to put herself out when my own family wont. :mad:

strandroad

Witchie wrote: »

Part of the problem is I dont want to ask my friend as that means admitting that my dad wont take me and he should! I shouldnt have to rely on a friend to put herself out when my own family wont. :mad:

I agree with you on principle, especially if you were always helping your parents out when needed, but you're putting your health at risk, so it trumps principles.

sam34

you refused two offers of a lift from your friends on the basis that you'd get your dad to drive you, but you hadn't clarified with your dad if he was free to do so. you do t really have much right to complain, IMO. plus, you can still take your friends up on the offer and thus get sorted before Tuesday. no need for the martyrdom.

I am a friend

Witchie wrote: »

out for some drinks after the game

Maybe he thinks it cant be all that bad if you could head out for drinks.... Dunno...

Take your friend up on the offer

Witchie

sam34 wrote: »

you refused two offers of a lift from your friends on the basis that you'd get your dad to drive you, but you hadn't clarified with your dad if he was free to do so. you do t really have much right to complain, IMO. plus, you can still take your friends up on the offer and thus get sorted before Tuesday. no need for the martyrdom.

Not quite. My mum had said that dad would drive me this evening. When I rang him he asked me to ring the hospital to see if I could make an appointment for A&E or x ray coz he didnt want to be sitting over there all day tomorrow and wasnt going this evening.

I text a mate who works in the hospital and she said that you cant make an appointment but if I was to come in early in the morning it should be quieter and should get seen to. I rang my dad back and told him this and he then said it would be better just to get the cure of the sprain and that I would be grand.

I know it is prob just a sprain but coz I cant take any stronger painkillers and am in a lot of pain I just thought he mite care enough to drive me over this evening or even tomorrow morning but he has to go for a run in the morning instead.

Not being a martyr just am so independent I hate asking anyone for help but feel like that shouldnt be an issue with my parents.

Witchie

I am a friend wrote: »

Maybe he thinks it cant be all that bad if you could head out for drinks.... Dunno...

Take your friend up on the offer

He doesnt know I was out and to be honest it wasnt as sore last nite as it is today.

I am a friend

Witchie wrote: »

My mum had said that dad would drive me this evening.

Had he agreed to this? Go with your friend. some people dont like hospitals...

Witchie

I don't know if he had or not, I just trusted that my mother would convince him that a few hours out of his life to make sure his daughter wasnt in pain wasnt much to ask. I have just asked my mate and told her am paying for her petrol. She is going to take me.

Am just fed up with my parents attitude to things like this. When my dad broke his back and ankle a few years ago, even though I was pregnant, I dropped everything to be at his beck and call.

I love them to bits but am worn out by their demands and now feel hurt that they cant help me when I need it.

Fenian Army

Witchie wrote: »

My late 30s. I dont mean demand as such but more beg that he drives me in the morning.

Witchie wrote: »

Part of the problem is I dont want to ask my friend as that means admitting that my dad wont take me and he should! I shouldnt have to rely on a friend to put herself out when my own family wont. :mad:

You're not acting like it...

Stop being daft and go to the hospital with your friend.

Witchie

Thanks for that FA. So someone my age is not allowed to feel hurt by parents letting them down?

I have arranged for my friend to take me in the morning, just didnt want to put her out feel I have no choice coz I cant go through another day like today.

kildare.17hmr

Grow up maybe :rolleyes:

Ickle Magoo

kildare.17hmr infracted for unhelpful posting.

This is an advice forum - please keep replies on topic and helpful to the OP.
Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

If you haven’t done so already, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.


As per site policy, if you have an issue with any moderator instruction or request please contact a relevant moderator via PM - DO NOT drag the thread further off-topic by responding on-thread

LegacyUser

Hi Witchie. Your story resonates with me so I thought I'd share my experience.

I had to go for a minor procedure which involved having to have someone leave me home afterwards. I decided to ask my father rather than inconvenience others who had offered. As it turned out, that was a bad decision. The only good thing I can say is that he did drive me home afterwards. He made it clear that he really did not want to be there and made me feel like pond scum for asking him in the first place. I felt (feel) especially aggrieved because I have done an awful lot of things for my widowed father and rarely asked for anything. I now feel better about it after some chats with people wiser than I who have dealt with awkward parents or who can see things with neutral eyes.

So what have I learned from this little story?
(i) That you can't assume your nearest and dearest are going to be there for you.
(ii) When people get into their sixties, they've often settled into comfortable routines and do not like having that interrupted.
(iii) Even if you help others, it does not mean that help will be reciprocated.
(iv) Some people do become astonishingly selfish and self-centred as they age

To sum up. Get that ankle seen to and accept whatever offers of help come along. Stop assuming that your parents will be the ones who will help. I learned to my cost that that is not the case. Next time I need help, it will not be to my father that I turn.

Witchie

vertigo2012 wrote: »

Hi Witchie. Your story resonates with me so I thought I'd share my experience. I had to go for a minor procedure which involved having to have someone leave me home afterwards. I decided to ask my father rather than inconvenience others who had offered. As it turned out, that was a bad decision. The only good thing I can say is that he did drive me home afterwards. He made it clear that he really did not want to be there and made me feel like pond scum for asking him in the first place. I felt (feel) especially aggrieved because I have done an awful lot of things for my widowed father and rarely asked for anything. I now feel better about it after some chats with people wiser than I who have dealt with awkward parents or who can see things with neutral eyes.
So what have I learned from this little story?
(i) That you can't assume your nearest and dearest are going to be there for you.
(ii) When people get into their sixties, they've often settled into comfortable routines and do not like having that interrupted.
(iii) Even if you help others, it does not mean that help will be reciprocated. (iv) Some people do become astonishingly selfish and self-centred as they age
To sum up. Get that ankle seen to and accept whatever offers of help come along. Stop assuming that your parents will be the ones who will help. I learned to my cost that that is not the case. Next time I need help, it will not be to my father that I turn.

Thank you. I'm now sitting in A&E coz got text at 6.35 this morn from my mum to say if I got up and showered dad would bring me over. He has brought me over and gone to car to.sleep while I wait. Think mum guiltedhim into it coz I had text her last nite saying my mate was gonna bring me. He made me feel like crap all the way over but am thankful he brought me.

Hopefully will get some good meds coz only had 2 hours sleep with pain last nite.

Pa Dee

Witchie wrote: »

vertigo2012 wrote: »

Hi Witchie. Your story resonates with me so I thought I'd share my experience. I had to go for a minor procedure which involved having to have someone leave me home afterwards. I decided to ask my father rather than inconvenience others who had offered. As it turned out, that was a bad decision. The only good thing I can say is that he did drive me home afterwards. He made it clear that he really did not want to be there and made me feel like pond scum for asking him in the first place. I felt (feel) especially aggrieved because I have done an awful lot of things for my widowed father and rarely asked for anything. I now feel better about it after some chats with people wiser than I who have dealt with awkward parents or who can see things with neutral eyes.
So what have I learned from this little story?
(i) That you can't assume your nearest and dearest are going to be there for you.
(ii) When people get into their sixties, they've often settled into comfortable routines and do not like having that interrupted.
(iii) Even if you help others, it does not mean that help will be reciprocated. (iv) Some people do become astonishingly selfish and self-centred as they age
To sum up. Get that ankle seen to and accept whatever offers of help come along. Stop assuming that your parents will be the ones who will help. I learned to my cost that that is not the case. Next time I need help, it will not be to my father that I turn.

Thank you. I'm now sitting in A&E coz got text at 6.35 this morn from my mum to say if I got up and showered dad would bring me over. He has brought me over and gone to car to.sleep while I wait. Think mum guiltedhim into it coz I had text her last nite saying my mate was gonna bring me. He made me feel like crap all the way over but am thankful he brought me.

Hopefully will get some good meds coz only had 2 hours sleep with pain last nite.

You need to have a much more positive attitude towards your parents. You were driven by your father after all

hoodwinked

Pa Dee wrote: »

You need to have a much more positive attitude towards your parents. You were driven by your father after all

While he was guilted into it by her mum and he makes his injured daughter feel like crap??


OP as a child of two very selfish self-centered parents, i feel for you and what you are going through, i really do, it hurts quite a bit to be what feels like rejected by the people who are supposed to love you most in this world, even more so when you see other parents doing everything they can to help their children.

The truth is there are people out there who just don't know what being a parent means.

It sounds like your mum does care but isn't in a position to do much due to illness,

your dad however as hard as it is (especially for females) you need to learn to grow a thick skin and DON'T (and i emphasize this) hold grudges, as this will only harm you in the long term,

holding grudges will make you miserable and bitter. you need to accept he will not be the father you want or need or deserve and just let him be, if he says anything just reply "yes dad" letting it go in one ear and out the other.

No matter what age you are its always hard to deal with issues with your parents.

StillWaters

I think at your stage of life you should be independent enoug to get yourself to hospital, taxi, self drive, public transport. there certainly was no need for someone else to hang round all day in A&E with you for a sprain.

Pa Dee

sunflower27 wrote: »

StillWaters wrote: »

I think at your stage of life you should be independent enoug to get yourself to hospital, taxi, self drive, public transport. there certainly was no need for someone else to hang round all day in A&E with you for a sprain.

I totally agree. At your age OP, you should be more than capable of sorting yourself out.

This all sounds like some kind of 'test' that your parents need to pass to confirm their commitment to you.

Are you really OK to let your dad sleep in a car while he waits for you?

You are an adult, I really think you need to start acting like it.

Summed up perfectly

I am a friend

Yeah op I do my best to remove or block stress from my parents lives not add to it. It's not right that an old man is sleeping in a car when you has other options.

They reared you and put the time in then when needed. Don't see why you can lean on your bf/ friends now.

username123

Why didnt you just get a taxi to A&E?

You were offered lifts by friends as well, yet for some reason you insisted on martyring yourself by suffering all day and night. What is wrong with you that you didnt just get a taxi or public transport or a lift from a friend - or, dare I suggest - DRIVE yourself considering you had been driving about for 3 hours with it after the injury anyway!

I thought when I read this that you were very young, then I saw that you are in your 30s! Unbelievable, you really need to try and grow up a bit and handle yourself and situations you find yourself in with a bit of maturity.

Susie_Q

OP why didn't you just take a taxi? You shouldn't expect your parents to still be ferrying you around the place when you're nearing 40.

I agree with sunflower27, OP. It's like you're setting them up for a test you want them to fail.

You're purposely putting all the responsibility on your parents, and then pretending that when they don't react how you want, they've left you to martyr yourself because you refuse to take advantage of your friends.

If you're in as much pain as you claim to be, then you should have:

- happily and gratefully accepted a lift from a friend
- or gotten a taxi
- refused to drive your sister (I still don't know what you meant by "I had to")
- called in sick to work

Or a variety of other solutions. Instead, you've purposely been putting strain on your ankle by living life as normal, and then being surprised when people don't take your injury seriously. Demanding that you be driven by your father when you had other options. Letting him sleep in a car (even though he has previously suffered a broken back - I'm sure at his age these things have lasting effects) and still blaming him that he didn't do it with a smile.

To be honest, and I know I'm reaching, but it sounds to me as though you have long running issues with your parents, in particular your father, and that you're using your "hour of need" as a way of putting a name on what you feel are his/their failures.

thefeatheredcat

OP you somehow seem to forget that your parents have been taking care of you for years, since you were a baby and raised you. In that time they have done many, many things for you, or at least probably have. For what the first 18 years of your life I'm sure they did more than what you have done for them in driving your mother to the hospital (I understand that the older you get the more seriously fractures and sprains are taken) and that in fairness you doing that isn't something you should expect something for in return - you should be wanting to do that because you care.

The reality is your parents are not going to be around forever. So they are not always going to be available to you to help you and you have to learn to either fall back on yourself, or your network of friends, neighbours and people in your life to help you if you cannot help yourself.

If you're independent and you dislike having to burden people by asking for help then that is half the battle is swallowing your own pride and actually opening your mouth and seriously stating you need help and for it to be taken seriously. It's no good sitting around trying to guilt your parents into action by starting your own pity party - they're not always going to be there or around for you. What if they were on holidays? Would you have rung them and demanded they come home? Unlikely, who would do that? So you would have fallen back on whatever resources you have including your own self and your friends.

But the real benefit to you in all this is that you have friends that offered to help you - this is fantastic for you, you have people in your life who are willing to help you out in such a situation as this.

I think for yourself you really need to start taking a step back and realise your parents are not going to be around forever and in such situations like this you will have to rely on yourself if you do not have a partner or spouse to assist you and take care of you - it is your responsibility to take care of yourself first and foremost that is part of being an adult. You should count your blessings that your friends have offered not just to drive you, but have given you advice and some level of help.

Whether your parents are being selfish or not there's not a lot to go on to judge them - but look their own behaviour gave you an opportunity to fend for yourself with an injury, to cope and adapt to the situation by your own means and resources. Even if they have acted hostile towards you or been cross with you, that could be a manifestation of a lot of other worries, such as your mother's illness and other things like stress, maybe there's a lot on their plates that is just between them. Probably your parents think you're old enough to sort yourself out with such things as injuries, you've driven your mother to hospital it's not like you don't know where one might be, and they probably assume that even with something as an injury you should be quite capable of dealing with it yourself.

Don't hold it against your parents and just be grateful to them in the end for the help they have given you. Don't make a big deal out of it just show your appreciation of that in the end.

Big Bag of Chips

I'm mid thirties and my parents would be the last people I would ask for help in a situation like this. Not because they wouldn't help... They would, in a heart beat. But because I don't expect them to come running to my rescue.

I much prefer to ask friends for help, and am lucky with the friends I have that I can do that. And they also know that whenever they are in need I will help without hesitation.

As we get older we rely less on our parents and more on ourselves and those around us. In my case, my parents are usually only called when I genuinely can't get anyone else to help, and even then I don't like asking... (although I know they would be the first to offer help)

strandroad

Susie_Q wrote: »

OP why didn't you just take a taxi? You shouldn't expect your parents to still be ferrying you around the place when you're nearing 40.

She said it's an hour's drive away, so multiplied by two to return it becomes very expensive.

Witchie

1st off there is no public transport in this area and round trip to the hospital would have cost over €40 by taxi which is not an option.

2: after driving to Belfast on Friday I could barely walk and felt that I had done more damage and I really had no choice but to drive my sister or she would miss her boat and not be back in work on time.

3: If you can't ask a family member to bring you to hospital when you are not fit to drive yourself then there is something wrong. I didn't go yesterday when I should have because my dad was working and I thought that the pain would probably ease off. It didn't and I then asked my friend to take me today after my dad had told me "I would be alright".

4: My dad is the one that suggested going so early this morning so that it wouldnt interfere with his day and he usually gets up at 6.30 am anyway so him saying he was going to sleep in the car was him trying to make me feel bad for him having to drive me, when he would normally be up at that time and not sleep during the day.

5: I don't rely on them for anything, am fully independent but this once I asked for a favour and feel a bit annoyed that they didn't want to help.

6: I am very grateful that he did drive me and thankfully it is not broken but am being referred to physio and have to take some meds to help with pain, which is what I needed to get.

7: I shouldn't have been made to feel guilty that I was injured but I was, he even is blaming me for a fine he will get coz he decided to speed and the camera van was on the road, he often speeds but of course this time I was there so it was my fault.

I love my dad so much, have the greatest of respect for him and have and will continue to go to the ends of the earth for him and my mother, but I now know that if I need help I am seen as a nuisance and will not expect anything from them again.

Mods thread can be closed now if you like.

Big Bag of Chips

My parent's and family in general, are very helpful. My husband's parents and some of his siblings aren't.

We just know not to ask them for anything.

sherbett32

So little drama OP for a sprained ankle? You appear to be trying to make yourself very unhappy.

Your dad took you to the hospital in the end so all good, it's only a sprain so all good. You have good friends who will help you out, all good.

Lighten up, there may be much more trying times when you really need parental support.

LegacyUser

Hi Witchie. I posted earlier in this thread. I think some of the people who posted here have been quite harsh. In principle I agree with the idea that going to your parents for help usually isn't the thing to do. Sometimes though, it seems like an OK thing to do. Especially if you're not in a position to drive to the hospital, a taxi will cost you a small fortune, your friends would have to take time off work and/or go massively out of their way to help etc.

You would think that at times like these, you could turn to your parents and ask for help. I've seen aunts and uncles down tools to help my cousins when they fell ill or there was a family emergency. The same with parents of friends. Just because someone's children have grown up doesn't mean that their parents stop helping.

Some people on this thread have been lining up to call you over-dramatic, childish etc. They're losing sight of an issue at the centre of this. That one of your own parents treated you quite cruelly. I hope none of these people ever have reason to pick up the phone and ask their mother or father for help.

rainbowtrout

Witchie wrote: »

2: after driving to Belfast on Friday I could barely walk and felt that I had done more damage and I really had no choice but to drive my sister or she would miss her boat and not be back in work on time.

3: If you can't ask a family member to bring you to hospital when you are not fit to drive yourself then there is something wrong. I didn't go yesterday when I should have because my dad was working and I thought that the pain would probably ease off. It didn't and I then asked my friend to take me today after my dad had told me "I would be alright".

It's your sister's responsibility to get herself to the boat. If you were not capable of driving, you shouldn't have played the martyr and driven her, she would have got a lift from someone else if she really needed to.

Just because you are related to people doesn't mean you can rely on them. I don't expect my family to do stuff for me or be available for me. It's nice if they are and they offer, or if I was really stuck I would ask, but I don't expect it. You had two friends offer you a lift, they wouldn't have offered if they weren't willing to do it but you turned them down and chose to spend another day in pain until you could guilt your father into giving you a lift. Who's the winner here? Not you, you spent more time in pain than was necessary and your father still grumbled at you, as you expected.

LegacyUser

Witchie wrote: »

Thank you. I'm now sitting in A&E coz got text at 6.35 this morn from my mum to say if I got up and showered dad would bring me over. He has brought me over and gone to car to.sleep while I wait. Think mum guiltedhim into it coz I had text her last nite saying my mate was gonna bring me. He made me feel like crap all the way over but am thankful he brought me.

Hopefully will get some good meds coz only had 2 hours sleep with pain last nite.

As a nurse who works in A&E, I would be horrified if one of my brothers sprained his ankle and expected our ELDERLY father to take him to the hospital. Sleeping in the car was the best your father can do as he would probably get sick if he waited for you inside from all the germs lurking in the air. Remember your daddy isn't young anymore and his immune system is not what it used to be. In fact, we discourage elderly and children to be in A&E for these reasons (unless they have to be admitted themselves). What really got me was the fact he suffered a broken back and you expected him to drive you anyway? Your parents are not the problem my dear, it is you! How selfish of you to EXPECT your ELDERLY father make the journey to A&E and wait for you? I would never in my wildest dreams EXPECT that of my ELDERLY parents. I am sorry OP, you have no manners, decency and consideration!

When my parents became old, my primary concern was making their lives less stressful and let them enjoy what they have left. They have done enough for me beyond the age of 18. Now its MY turn to return the favour and take care of them.

If I were in YOUR situation OP and I needed help from family, I would ask one of my brothers or a cousin never an elderly relative! The hospital is the last place they need to be at.

Calibos

If I were you, I'd be more worried that one of the reasons my dad was annoyed about having to bring me to the hospital was because he believed in the Irish version of a Witchdoctor tbh.

"Ah jaysus, why do ye want to make me bring ye to de hospital, when the oul lady down de road has de cure for ankles"

Hey Mr Heart Surgeon, you wasted all that time in medical school. Sure weren't ye a seventh son of a seventh son born wit de cure for Pulmonary Edema....

username123

Witchie Im sorry you are feeling so bad about yourself and your relationship with your parents, I am glad you got sorted and the ankle isnt broken, but I think you need to reflect on your own behaviour in the situation.

You HAD other options, you just didnt want to take them. You seemed to want to be a martyr about it all unnecessarily.

I see from other posts that you are a mother yourself, you need to think about how your own kids would be perceiving a situation like this where you seem to feel the world is against you, when in reality, you could have gone to the hospital sooner. Playing the martyr is not a healthy way to act with an injury, especially as a mother, you need to be practical, what if it had been a serious injury and delay could have caused problems for the future?

I hope the ankle gets better and maybe in the future youd be able to distance yourself a bit from your parents because there is a dysfunctional vibe coming up here thats not healthy for anyone.

The Big Red Button

My immediate reaction while reading your initial post was that, if you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to find your own way to a hospital, when necessary, without the help of your parents.

However that was when I assumed you were in your late teens. I'm actually horrified to see you're in your late thirties and still expect your parents to be minding you like this.

And you mentioned being pregnant - are you saying you have a child, who relies on you to take care of them, when you don't appear capable of taking care of yourself?

You're a grown adult, if you're injured, you make your own way to the hospital. I would far rather have one of my friends take me there - if they offered - rather than putting my parents out of their way like that. And I'm a decade or so younger than you. Frankly I'd be embarrassed to be as reliant on my parents at you are at my age - let alone when I'm in my late thirties. The way I see it is, my parents went above and beyond the call of duty for me until I was eighteen (and even past that.) I'm a grown adult now, I look after myself. This is their time in life. I would absolutely hate to make life in any way more awkward or difficult for them, ever.

You have said that you're "fully independent" - well, that's an absolute joke! Many sixteen-year-olds that I know come across as being far more mature and independent than you're coming across here.

And all this fuss over a sprained ankle ... :eek:

Killed By Death

You let an elderly man who once broke his back drive you to hospital (and then sleep in the car) for a sprain because you wouldn't spend €40 on a taxi or accept a lift offered by a friend? And you're in your late 30's :eek:

I think that is disgracefully selfish and entitled behaviour from you.

You try to justify it by saying you do a lot for your parents, but so you should. They are getting on.

You do need to grow up I'm afraid. You've been very unreasonable and selfish.

Taltos

Closed at OP's request