Ectopic pregnancy support thread

KKkitty

Hi all, mods feel free to move if it's in the wrong forum. My story starts the 13th of April just gone. I took the test and got a positive. Texts were sent to relay the good news and I couldn't be happier. Within a matter of days I started bleeding though. I was trying to be positive but the bleeding was on and off so I didn't think things were that bad. I told my doctor about the bleeding and an appointment was made for the 15th of May. Bleeding was still on and off at that stage varying in colour and amount.
Went in the 15th and had the ultrasound and nothing was found in the womb. Had to give a sample and it was still positive so an internal exam was done and something was found in my right tube. To say I was devastated is an understatement. Had the operation a few hours later and was told they had to remove the right tube. My surgeon said I've about 75 percent fertility rate now which are good odds despite what I've been through. I think the most important thing is not to blame yourself if something like an ectopic pregnancy happens to you. I'm doing ok but parts of me still wonder what might have been. I hope this thread helps others who've been through it. You're not alone.

Love KKkitty xx

Hannibal Smith

KKkitty wrote: »

Hi all, mods feel free to move if it's in the wrong forum. My story starts the 13th of April just gone. I took the test and got a positive. Texts were sent to relay the good news and I couldn't be happier. Within a matter of days I started bleeding though. I was trying to be positive but the bleeding was on and off so I didn't think things were that bad. I told my doctor about the bleeding and an appointment was made for the 15th of May. Bleeding was still on and off at that stage varying in colour and amount.
Went in the 15th and had the ultrasound and nothing was found in the womb. Had to give a sample and it was still positive so an internal exam was done and something was found in my right tube. To say I was devastated is an understatement. Had the operation a few hours later and was told they had to remove the right tube. My surgeon said I've about 75 percent fertility rate now which are good odds despite what I've been through. I think the most important thing is not to blame yourself if something like an ectopic pregnancy happens to you. I'm doing ok but parts of me still wonder what might have been. I hope this thread helps others who've been through it. You're not alone.

Love KKkitty xx

What a brave post. Thank you for sharing. I hope others benefited and you got some good out of it too by sharing xx

KKkitty

Thank you Hannibal. I've started this thread so others can come and get stuff out emotionally. I don't really know of anyone who's gone through it so I hope to hear from others and we can be of help and support to each other xx

Lucyfur

I had an ectopic in May last year. I had a miscarriage in February and got pregnant again immediately. I had a scan at 7 weeks and nothing was visible so a hCG blood test was done that day and again 48 hours later. hCG levels more than doubled in this time and another scan was booked for a few days later. I was awake all of the night before the scan with cramps on my left side...I had a fair idea the the pregnancy wasn't going to be successful.

I was scanned early the next morning and I was told that the pregnancy was ectopic. My blood pressure dropped to the point where the alarm went off on the machine I was admitted straight away and surgery was scheduled for 5pm. I was told that the surgery would be keyhole. The surgeon started with keyhole but ended up opening me from hip to hip. I had my left tube fully removed, part of the ovary and my uterus was opened as the baby had implanted at the top of it.

Recovery was horrible, I had internal bleeding and bruising and had 3 drains attached for 4 days after the surgery.

A year on, I'm back to normal and feeling good again. I hit an extreme low after the surgery and ended up on anti depressants. We tried again for about 6 months and nothing happened. Baby making is on hold for a while now and I feel much better not having to deal with the pressure of TTC:)

KKkitty

Lucyfur I am truly sorry that you went through that. I had the keyhole surgery only so recovery wasn't altogether that bad. My stitches haven't fully healed. I think the worse part for me is that I had 2 pregnancies before this with no complications so I can't understand why it happened to me this time. When was your first period after your operation if you don't mind me asking? I really hope you are blessed with a baby after all you've been through xx

Lucyfur

KKkitty wrote: »

Lucyfur I am truly sorry that you went through that. I had the keyhole surgery only so recovery wasn't altogether that bad. My stitches haven't fully healed. I think the worse part for me is that I had 2 pregnancies before this with no complications so I can't understand why it happened to me this time. When was your first period after your operation if you don't mind me asking? I really hope you are blessed with a baby after all you've been through xx

I bled heavily after the op....far, far more than with the miscarriage but I still got a period about 30 days after the op:)

KKkitty

I think I'm having my first period now. If I'd never been pregnant I'd be getting one this week anyway. My emotions are still all over the place. I'm grateful to be here but sad thinking of what I've been through. How are you emotionally?

Lucyfur

KKkitty wrote: »

I think I'm having my first period now. If I'd never been pregnant I'd be getting one this week anyway. My emotions are still all over the place. I'm grateful to be here but sad thinking of what I've been through. How are you emotionally?

I'm good now but I wasn't for a long time. The loss of the baby and the impact of the surgery had a huge effect on me. The hospital were brilliant, they gave us memorial cards and offered counselling:)

KKkitty

I know how you feel. This week I should have been getting my 12 week appointment and scan. Feel so down about it. I wasn't in a tremendous amount of pain with the ectopic pregnancy either were you?

Hannibal Smith

KKkitty wrote: »

Thank you Hannibal. I've started this thread so others can come and get stuff out emotionally. I don't really know of anyone who's gone through it so I hope to hear from others and we can be of help and support to each other xx

I had a miscarriage (not ectopic pregnancy) and at the time I would have loved a thread like this to say things you couldn't say out loud. So I'm sure others really will benefit and I'm sure you'll be great support for each other xx

Lucyfur

KKkitty wrote: »

I know how you feel. This week I should have been getting my 12 week appointment and scan. Feel so down about it. I wasn't in a tremendous amount of pain with the ectopic pregnancy either were you?

The night before the scan I was in a good bit of pain on my left side...I knew something wasn't right. I was delayed going to surgery as an emergency came in. I was due to go at 5pm but it was just before midnight when I went. In that space of time, I was given painkillers and every 15 minutes a nurse came to check on me and ask me if the pain was spreading to my shoulder/chest area.

KKkitty

Hannibal I'm so sorry you had to go through that. How are you about it? xx Lucyfur I also had shoulder pain. I didn't feel awful but I had a bad feeling about the pregnancy.

LegacyUser

on the 13th april 2011, i discovered i was pregnant but waas bleeding quite heavily.

doctor sent we off to the hospital, where i had a scan and was told my womb was empty. got sent home and told to come back the following week for blood tests. my HCG levels were still rising, so was given an internal where they found a pregnancy in my right tube.

i was monitored for 2 weeks before they decided to bring me into hospital overnight to assess me future. it was decided to give me two shots of methotrexate and send me on my way.

i was off work for 5 weeks, and was attending the hospital on weekly basis until i finally got the all clear in August.

Xdancer

I've been a lurker around these boards for a while, but after seeing this thread I thought I would share my story too.

In April 2010 I found out I was expecting, everything seemed fine, I had seen my doctor and was waiting on an appointment for my 12 week scan. I hadn't suffered any pain or bleeding but suddenly at 8 weeks I was doubled over and passing out with the most extruciating pain ever. We called an ambulance and I was rushed off to hospital where it was quickly diagnosed as a ruptured ectopic pregnancy.
During surgery they tried keyhole surgery, but due to complications they had to open me from hip to hip and they removed my right tube.

We were advised to wait 6 months before trying again, which we did and 3 months later I fell pregnant again. We now have a wonderful 6 month little girl.

KKkitty

Dinnerlegs and Xdancer thank you for your replies. I really wish you didn't have to go through it. I'm so glad you had a baby after it Xdancer. How are you feeling about your ectopic pregnancies now?

KKkitty

Dinnerlegs and Xdancer thank you for your replies. I really wish you didn't have to go through it. I'm so glad you had a baby after it Xdancer. How are you feeling about your ectopic pregnancies now?

Xdancer

I still think about it on the anniversary of the surgery and on what would have been his/her due date. I think having my little girl makes it easier.
It's a horrible thing to go through and nobody can truly understand unless they have experienced the same thing.

I'm sorry that any of us had to go through it

KKkitty

Xdancer wrote: »

I still think about it on the anniversary of the surgery and on what would have been his/her due date. I think having my little girl makes it easier.
It's a horrible thing to go through and nobody can truly understand unless they have experienced the same thing.

I'm sorry that any of us had to go through it

I would have been due the 15th of December. It's a truly horrendous thing to go through and you wouldn't wish it on anyone. I think because there's no definitive reason as to why it happens it makes it worse. The physical wounds may heal but the emotional ones take time

LegacyUser

how do i feel now? tbh i havent got a clue, its not something i think about.

my family dont do emotional things and have basically been told to get over it but i notice i get invited to less family things and hear comments like, it was just people with kids invited etc.

i wont even call it a pregnancy, it was a cluster of fast growing cells in the wrong place. it is just one of those things and i dont see the point in dwelling over things you cant change,

but on the positive side, i have since given up smoking, lost weight and got a few things sorted out in my life now

xiwang

KKkitty, thank you for opening this thread and for all the others telling their stories. I hope those that haven't recovered yet will recover soon.

I had an ectopic in 2008 and it took me until 2012 until I was able to start trying for a baby. I was given a 50% chance to have another ectopic so although I really wanted to have kids, I was just too scared for a long long time.

At the time in 2008 I wasn't really monitoring my cycle, I noted my period most months but not with a lot of thought behind it, especially since I was using contraception all the time (condoms). Also, I had some trouble with my dissertation - the topic I wanted to write for my masters didn't go through as planned so I had to come up with a new topic and postpone everything so when my period didn't come I just put it down to stress.

The day before I was to see my lecturer I got my period (or so I thought), fainted, was nauseous and had massive shoulder pains and still thought it was stress - but went to see a GP as soon as I finished meeting with my lecturer.

The GP told me it was all stress, and said I should take a few days off. But on the way to her practise, I noticed I smelled people smoking around me (not something I normally would notice that strongly after 10 years of smoking myself), so that put me on the right track. I remember asking her "Is there any chance I could be pregnant although I just started having a period". She said no, but I'll test you, because it might be an ectopic come to think of it, with all the shoulder pain you mentioned, and maybe it wasn't a real period.

Turned out I was indeed pregnant, what I thought was a late period was in fact internal bleeding from a ruptured tube, and I had surgery the day after. I had to fake having more pain, because the surgeon said I was "way too fit to have an ectopic". I just knew it in me that if I didn't get the operation soon there wouldn't be much left, really, so I faked more pain to get them to do it soon (he wanted to wait another day).

I've had some pain having sex ever since the operation (not really strong pain, but noticeable), although I waited about two months before I did anything along those lines.

Also I have become a complete nutter when it comes to my cycles, I write them down manually and have an app on top of that, take my temperature to make sure I am not going to notice it so late ever again, and I have seen my GP at least once to test me early because I was a day late. I really, really panicked for years.

After four years, I felt ready to try again. In March, we said we'll try and conceived immediately. I was scheduled for a 20 weeks scan initially but broke down completely when I heard that, so the nurse was good enough to get me in to have a very early scan at 6 weeks just to confirm the pregnancy was in the right place.

I slept on only one side until the day of the scan, to help gravity bring the baby through the tube, just because I felt so helpless and there was nothing I could. I developed phantom pains in my shoulder and side. It was the longest two weeks in my life.

But my remaining tube is functional - I am 12 weeks pregnant today with a healthy baby heartbeat.

Xdancer

Xiwang what a shocking story! I can't believe you had to fake more pain in order to have the operation that day. That's crazy!!!
It's also shocking that they were only going to schedule you for your 1st scan at 20 weeks! My doctor referred me immediately for a scan to make sure everything was ok. I had scans at 4.5, 7 (saw and heard heartbeat), 11 and 12 weeks and only then was I classed as a normal pregnancy rather than high risk. This was all going public...the health system here is brilliant.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

xiwang

Thank you Xdancer. Yes, I was shocked as well when the surgeon said he'd postpone it - it was scheduled for the morning when my belly was empty enough, then in the morning he came in giving me his "too fit" talk ...

But it is so good to read about your little daughter, it gives a lot of hope.

On the other hand, because of that surgeon's decision I had a kind of near-death experience (which he confirmed after surgery) and had months and months of being just happy to be alive - the depression of not being a fully functioning woman and all that only came about a year later.

I was classed as normal risk pregnancy after the second scan (8 weeks) when the heartbeat was confirmed, but I have to add in fairness that I moved county and thus have a new GP since who wasn't as familiar with my history so maybe that is why it was initially scheduled for 20 weeks, although obviously I made a point about the previous ectopic.

KKkitty wrote: »

[...] I think because there's no definitive reason as to why it happens it makes it worse. [...]

That really upset me the most for all those years. You just can't look into yourself and know if or if not the other side is the same. With having kids already it really might be the case that those came out of the good tube, so where they came from maybe others can come too, maybe that is a thought worth holding on to. But I am with you in my thoughts, hope you can take the time to grief and spend a lot of time with your family now.

KKkitty

Xiwang congrats on your pregnancy. I'm so happy you're finally getting a little bundle of joy. I'm on a medical card Xdancer and things were sorted pretty quick. Another thing with me was how quick everything was the 15th of May. The scan took no length and then my partner was told to go to admissions to put my name down for the overnight stay. Most of that day is a blur tbh. Doctors and nurses explaining stuff to me and none of it really sinking in. They were so nice and if I cried they'd let me take a breather and start again. I was shaking going into the operation and for the first time in my life felt truly alone even though there was a crowd in the theatre with me. Everything went through the blasted drip too. The sensation of the anesthetic going through the drip was unbearable. Think I'd rather have my hand chopped off than go through that again. I got a dose of morphine after the operation and developed a slight reaction to it so had to have an anti histamine on top of all that. Xiwang I can only wish you the very best in the rest of your pregnancy

Lucyfur

dinnerlegs wrote: »

how do i feel now? tbh i havent got a clue, its not something i think about.

my family dont do emotional things and have basically been told to get over it but i notice i get invited to less family things and hear comments like, it was just people with kids invited etc.

i wont even call it a pregnancy, it was a cluster of fast growing cells in the wrong place. it is just one of those things and i dont see the point in dwelling over things you cant change,

but on the positive side, i have since given up smoking, lost weight and got a few things sorted out in my life now

:eek:

My ''cluster of cells'' also happened to have a heart beat. Just like a living thing.

LegacyUser

Lucyfur wrote: »

:eek:

My ''cluster of cells'' also happened to have a heart beat. Just like a living thing.

but i wasn't talking about YOUR pregnancy, I was talking about MINE and how I FEEL about it.

LegacyUser

not everyone is going to have the same emotional response as you - read this from the Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland Website:-

Some feel the loss of a baby very strongly. Other women find it hard to think of what they have lost as a baby; rather they see it as an embryo in the very early stages of development. Whether your response is very emotional or more clinical, there is no right or wrong way to reflect upon what has happened to you.

http://www.ectopicireland.ie/gpage3.html

Lucyfur

dinnerlegs wrote: »

but i wasn't talking about YOUR pregnancy, I was talking about MINE and how I FEEL about it.

Absolutely, and you should feel free to talk and feel the way you do.


There's no right or wrong way to grieve or not to grieve...that's up to the individual....


I wasn't saying anything against you. I just happen to not agree with ''cluster of cells'':)

xiwang

so four years after my ectopic I gave birth to my little man, had a lovely healthy and easy pregnancy and enjoyed every minute of it, and enjoying every second of having him here now.

My OH mentioned my previous ectopic to the midwife when we were in the labour ward, and I want to share in this thread what she told us then, because I think it will be a good thing for someone to read.

She said there is medical evidence that in women who lose one of their fallopian tubes due to ectopic pregnancies, the remaining tube can change its position towards the middle to take over the duties of the missing tube, catching eggs from both ovaries.

Now you won't know if it is the case unless someone cuts you open, but just knowing that is medically possible for one tube to be as efficient as two might help someone else at some stage, I think it would have helped me had I heard that earlier.

Xdancer

Congratulations xiwang

I found that having my daughter eased the heartbreak of my ectopic, and looking at her now if it weren't for my ectopic I wouldn't have her. I'd have another baby instead whowould be loved just as much, but it wouldn't be her

KKkitty

Congrats xiwang The surgeon who removed my damaged tube said words to that effect too. It's amazing how our bodies do certain things really. Hope you and baby are doing well