Last night I got held up while waiting at a bus stop

The Radiator

So, true story kids:
Yesterday evening I was at a bus stop waiting for the bus (no surprise there) when three teenagers and a knife show up. "We just want your cash!" they say, pointedly. Such terrible profiling. I'm hardly the go-to guy when it comes to cash. I hand over my wallet and mention with sympathetic dismay: "I think there's only 10 bucks in there..." He takes out the cash and hands back the wallet. A simple public transaction, you might say. He counts the bills: there's $6. He blinks. I shrug.
Plan B mode: "Give me your cellphone!!!!" Humor, you toy with us! This adolescent delinquent joins the sorry few who realize just how rinky-dinky my cellphone is. In another life, it was a hammer. Imagine a phone that feels sorry for itself, daily apologizing for existing. That's my phone. Handing it to him was like passing a broken, quenched torch. He looks at it and is overcome with discouragement. The same way I felt when I bought it. We all give a sad sigh. It wasn't being a good night for any of us.

Reluctantly, they run across the street, past the shopping mall and disappear into the night. The two ladies at the bus stop sit in silence, frozen, staring at me, wondering what I'll do next. Indeed, what I do next wasn't easy. But I push myself to do it. I muster all the goodness within me and in my mind call out: "I FORGIVE YOU CELLPHONE, you dastardly excuse of a communication apparatus. Take my forgiveness with you and be whole!"

And just like that: all the bitterness I had been harboring for the past four months simply melts away. T'was a night of reconciliation, of forgiveness, of a poor boy being robbed at knife-point and somehow coming away richer.
Nothing else happened that night except everything else that happened.

Oh, and did I mention: packed snugly away in my backpack, secure and at ease, rested an Alienware laptop and an iPad.

Where To

Wow!!














That's the craziest copying and pasting I've ever seen

EddyC15

Great story but I'm sure I redd it somewhere before...

flutterflye

Did the bus come on time?
I hate it when they're late.

phill106

Sooooo you had dollars? Bucks? Cell phone?
Come on man, why not throw in a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich and be done with it!


So hi daniel gardiner
http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/udt0m/last_night_i_got_held_up_while_waiting_at_a_bus/

Tonyandthewhale

Why was everyone dealing in dollars? Were you in Belize or something?

krudler

you could at least have changed the Americanisms. mall? dollars? cellphone? the fcuk you do you think you are?

SEPT 23 1989

"shopping mall"

thecornflake

phill106 wrote: »

Sooooo you had dollars? Bucks? Cell phone?

Yeah ? What else would he have outside the mall ?

Palytoxin

You had me until "kids".

tk123

The Radiator wrote: »

Oh, and did I mention: packed snugly away in my backpack, secure and at ease, rested an Alienware laptop and an iPad.

3 hours ago it was a macbook and Ipad? :rolleyes:

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/udt0m/last_night_i_got_held_up_while_waiting_at_a_bus/

SEPT 23 1989

Lucky he didnt rob your sneakers while he was at it

Monsieur Folie

Wow, you are so good at copy pasting

chin_grin

Hahaha OP caught rapid with a blatant copypasta! Bwaaaaahahahahaha.

al28283

"we want your cash"?? you need to work on your dialogue OP

Immaculate Pasta

The Radiator wrote: »

So, true story kids:
Yesterday evening I was at a bus stop waiting for the bus (no surprise there) when three teenagers and a knife show up. "We just want your cash!" they say, pointedly. Such terrible profiling. I'm hardly the go-to guy when it comes to cash. I hand over my wallet and mention with sympathetic dismay: "I think there's only 10 bucks in there..." He takes out the cash and hands back the wallet. A simple public transaction, you might say. He counts the bills: there's $6. He blinks. I shrug.
Plan B mode: "Give me your cellphone!!!!" Humor, you toy with us! This adolescent delinquent joins the sorry few who realize just how rinky-dinky my cellphone is. In another life, it was a hammer. Imagine a phone that feels sorry for itself, daily apologizing for existing. That's my phone. Handing it to him was like passing a broken, quenched torch. He looks at it and is overcome with discouragement. The same way I felt when I bought it. We all give a sad sigh. It wasn't being a good night for any of us.

Reluctantly, they run across the street, past the shopping mall and disappear into the night. The two ladies at the bus stop sit in silence, frozen, staring at me, wondering what I'll do next. Indeed, what I do next wasn't easy. But I push myself to do it. I muster all the goodness within me and in my mind call out: "I FORGIVE YOU CELLPHONE, you dastardly excuse of a communication apparatus. Take my forgiveness with you and be whole!"

And just like that: all the bitterness I had been harboring for the past four months simply melts away. T'was a night of reconciliation, of forgiveness, of a poor boy being robbed at knife-point and somehow coming away richer.
Nothing else happened that night except everything else that happened.

Oh, and did I mention: packed snugly away in my backpack, secure and at ease, rested an Alienware laptop and an iPad.

None of this is true :cool:

Tonyandthewhale

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

None of this is true :cool:

Yeah, we had that figured out.

biko

I'll just go ahead and lock this now.

Sharpshooter

I'll just go ahead and lock this now.