hate tidying up and becomining a scab

LegacyUser

i liive in a place on my own. However i hate housework i find it very hard to clean up after myself and spend a lot of time online or watching tv(think i am a web addict). everyday day it seems a lot of hassle and its something i have to force myself to do. i dont change mny sheets or underwear very often in fact i am not even 100 p.c sure how oftebn you have to do this...how do most people manage?

2nd problem is that i am spending more money than i am bringing in this is mainly because of debts they are not even that much but they never go seem to go down i am always on the scrounge. asking friends for cigarettes and getting loans which i do usually payback but it takes ages. i am sure they talk about me behind my back because they talk about others most of my money goes on debt and after living expense the rest goes on drink. i have overdraft facilties which makes it harder to not spend but this means i am paying unnescaerry charges which mount up i find it hard to say no when people phone me for a few drinks. a friend recently without me asking lent me money to head out but i actually feel now he wasnt doing me a favour as i am in more debt. how can i manage my money and not be a scab?

December2012

sjs. wrote: »

i dont change mny sheets or underwear very often in fact i am not even 100 p.c sure how oftebn you have to do this...how do most people manage?

Are you serious or is this a p'sstake?

SunnyDub1

Hi Op,


First thing I would do here is write out a big weekly plan.
Set yourself a time you will wake at each morning and time you will go to bed at.
Your plan should include things you should be doing on a daily basis- what times you will eat at, clean at, wash at, exercise at, shop at etc.
When you have all the essentials done like washing,cleaning,eating, exercise then allow yourself a small amount of time for leisure time(TV,Internet)
Once you get yourself into a routine this will all become a little easier and you will feel better and happier in yourself.
You should really be showering and cleaning every day. Plenty of sleep and eating the right foods and even a small bit of exercise will also help you a lot.

You sound very lazy, and have little energy. It's not good to spend a lot of time watching TV, or going on the laptop. Try spend less time on your PC and get out for fresh air, such as walk in the park or even a walk to the shop. Exercise is good for general health.

As for the money situation, I would write up a budget. Don't be heading out drinking with Friends if you can't afford. There is other ways of socializing that doesn't cost much money or any money at all. Your just going to have to say no to your Friends, suggest doing something else with them or occupy yourself doing something other then drinking with Friends.
Stop taking loans from Friends you more then likely don't really need it, especially if its just for smokes and drink.

If your financial difficulties are becoming a major issue and you feel that you can't pay it back anytime in the near future I would suggest chatting to preferably a family member or a friend that won't judge you.
The only way you might be able to get out of this is with the help of a family member/Friend.
When you have a clear head it is a lot easier to focus on general daily things such as cleaning, washing etc.

Start today and just write yourself up a daily & financial plan.

Best of luck

xzanti

You need to shower and change your underwear every day OP.. You will feel much better in yourself if you do that..

Nobody can help you change your ways except you. You seem to recognise that there's a problem, so take the next step and take action..

Cut down on your screen time, cut down on the drinking and as someone else said, do up a weekly spending plan for yourself..

Why don't you start by dedicating one whole day to cleaning your house.. open all the windows, get some nice smelly candles etc and give it a good scrub. You'll find you're able to think much more clearly when your surroundings are in order.

Good luck.

Killed By Death

The hygeine issue;

You need to be changing your underwear and socks at least once a day. You need a bath or shower at least once a day. That is the norm. Anything less and you will smell and people will notice and judge you. Yes they will.

You also need to wash your clothes properly and frequently. t-shirts can be worn once. Shirts the same. Then they must be washed. Jumpers and trousers would probably need to be washed after every third wear in this weather, you might get away with every fourth in winter.

Your sheets need to be changed weekly or fortnightly and you need a mattress protector underneath the sheets. You should also air out your duvet outdoors if you can every so often or it will smell too.

Acoshla

You don't have to shower every day, yes change your socks and underwear every day but showering every day is not necessary, every two days would be fine unless the weather is very warm or you've been very active that day. There is such a thing as showering too often, many people's irritated skin conditions are due to too much washing. You should be conscious of your own hygiene and you would notice when you need a shower, if not changing your socks every day you can almost guarantee that others will notice the smell sooner or later.

Some people change their sheets once a week, some people do it once every 1-2 months, some people are lazier/cleaner than others!

And as mentioned don't go drinking if you can't afford it, you'll pay off debts much faster if you actually use your spare money to pay them.

Ickle Magoo

December2012 wrote: »

Are you serious or is this a p'sstake?

There is clear protocol to follow if you don't think a thread is genuine, outlined HERE.

Please ensure you do as requested and read that and the charter HERE before posting in this forum.



As per site policy, if you have an issue with any moderator instruction or request please contact a relevant moderator via PM - DO NOT drag the thread further off-topic by responding on-thread

A lot of people, if not most people, don't like housework OP. However it's something that HAS to be done. If you don't, you're putting your health at risk and you're going to start being seen as a smelly/dirty person by people that come into contact with you.

You have an overdraft facility. That doesn't mean you have to use it. Do not use it. Make yourself a promise - no more loans. No more 'scrounging'. No more excuses. SunnyDub1 hit the nail on the head. You need a financial plan and a daily schedule.

Personally I find that a plan wont work unless it's got some wiggle room. If it's too tight or constricting you'll start ignoring it. Have a weekly total of all the money you can afford to spend, with a daily schedule of how it should be spent. The weekly total is set in stone. You can not spend any more than that. It should also include a set amount which is to go into savings. Depending on how tight your finances are, I'd say at least a fiver. Your daily budget can be slightly looser. As in, if you can spend a little less than planned on some things then you can spend a little more than planned on other things.

The financial budget should also fit into a daily schedule. This will include any plans to go out, dates that bills are due, what day you're doing your weekly shop (if you're not already, you should be doing a weekly shop for the majority of your food, cleaning products and toiletries) and housework. Housework should include:
Clothes washing (underwear after a day, other clothes you should be able to tell when they get dirty, if you can't, give them two days)
Changing bed clothes (every week ideally, but if you can only do it every two weeks make sure you at least change your pillowcases every week)
Dishwashing
Floor sweeping and furniture dusting
Tidying (no shelf/pile of stuff/wardrobe/food cupboard should be left untouched for more than a week or two, even if it's already tidy you just move the stuff and put it right back where it came from - you never know where dirt or mould or spiders are finding a hospitable environment)
Baths, showers and sinks should be rinsed down with some cleaning product every week, and never leave and food out overnight.

Lastly, and most importantly, don't do your budgeting on the computer. You've admitted you have a problem turning it off once it's on, so make sure you don't turn it on until you've done everything you had to do that day.

Pa Dee

Killed By Death wrote: »

The hygeine issue;

You need to be changing your underwear and socks at least once a day. You need a bath or shower at least once a day. That is the norm. Anything less and you will smell and people will notice and judge you. Yes they will.

You also need to wash your clothes properly and frequently. t-shirts can be worn once. Shirts the same. Then they must be washed. Jumpers and trousers would probably need to be washed after every third wear in this weather, you might get away with every fourth in winter.

Your sheets need to be changed weekly or fortnightly and you need a mattress protector underneath the sheets. You should also air out your duvet outdoors if you can every so often or it will smell too.

The OP doesn't NEED to adopt other people's standards just to fit in. Its whatever he or she is comfortable with

Ickle Magoo

Pa Dee, infracted.

Despite being given the benefit of the doubt in several on-thread warnings you still seem to be having difficulties posting on-topic/useful/constructive advice.

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

If you haven’t done so already, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.


As per site policy, if you have an issue with any moderator instruction or request please contact a relevant moderator via PM - DO NOT drag the thread further off-topic by responding on-thread

Acoshla

Actually yeah OP very few people enjoy housework, but it just has to be done, and the more often you do little bits the easier it is. When I met my boyfriend his house took a good 3 hours to get to clean and tidy, now it takes about 30 minutes at the most because we maintain it all the time, doing tiny quick jobs every day that ease the load of work that needs to be done.

Oryx

In a nutshell, you need to learn to to the hard things. Saying no to going out. Not spending money you dont have (cancel your overdraft if you think its a temptation you can manage without). Keeping clean and tidy and respecting yourself.

Keeping yourself and your surroundings clean is work. But once you get into it, its enjoyable work because you get a benefit from it, a sense of pride.

If you are a web addict, cut off your supply. Unplug everything and stay offline and keep the tv off for a day, at least. Believe it or not, there is such a sense of relief from doing that.

Ultimately, you need discipline in your life to do the things you need to do. That doesnt come in a bottle, you have to work on it yourself. So get up, and begin, somewhere in your house, fixing/cleaning/sorting something that needs to be done. Work on this till it becomes a natural part of your day, a habit.

ABajaninCork

I don't like to clean either OP!! But it has to be done, as I hate sitting in mess.

It's hard to get into a routine isn't it? But it HAS to be done.

As the other posters have suggested make a plan. It doesn't have to be in writing, it can be in your head.

For instance: Today, I decided to put a wash on, and change the towels as they were becoming smelly.

I've spent an hour on here surfing and job hunting. In a minute I'll take the dog out. I've also spent a few minutes making 'admin' calls. The bills are paid weekly which I did yesterday.

Then I'll have lunch when I get back from the walk. Dog's water to be changed and he's to be fed.

Set yourself little goals. Break the day into chunks. You'll be surprised how organised you become very quickly.

Good Luck!

mtjm

OP I hear ya, I live alone and hate the thoughts of cleaning etc.. but I know it has to be done.

Once a week I set task to cleaning apartment from top to bottom, get my weekly washing done, as for getting out set yourself a goal by taking an hour or so of your time and go for a nice long walk, (I used to be wanting to watch too much TV) so I have Magnet + I record most of the stuff and catch up at night time.


It's hard to get into it but once you get going ya know it needs to be done

All the best

wylo

Killed By Death wrote: »

The hygeine issue;

You need to be changing your underwear and socks at least once a day. You need a bath or shower at least once a day. That is the norm. Anything less and you will smell and people will notice and judge you. Yes they will.

You also need to wash your clothes properly and frequently. t-shirts can be worn once. Shirts the same. Then they must be washed. Jumpers and trousers would probably need to be washed after every third wear in this weather, you might get away with every fourth in winter.

Your sheets need to be changed weekly or fortnightly and you need a mattress protector underneath the sheets. You should also air out your duvet outdoors if you can every so often or it will smell too.

just wondering could others clarify this, well the bold bits, the rest I agree with, if so Im worried I may be alot less hygienic than I thought.

Bed sheets, I leave go for several weeks, is that bad? Im concerned that my bed might stink without realizing but I shower every night.
Tshirts/shirts, I might wear for a few days, maybe 2, or 3 max , depends if it is warm or not.

The Big Red Button

wylo wrote: »

just wondering could others clarify this, well the bold bits, the rest I agree with, if so Im worried I may be alot less hygienic than I thought.

Bed sheets, I leave go for several weeks, is that bad? Im concerned that my bed might stink without realizing but I shower every night.
Tshirts/shirts, I might wear for a few days, maybe 2, or 3 max , depends if it is warm or not.

There's not much point in showering at night and then getting into a smelly bed?!

Personally I change my bedsheets every weekend. Sometimes every two weeks, especially if I haven't been sleeping in it every night. I definitely wouldn't let it go any longer than that, it would just seem unhygenic.

And I wouldn't wear a tshirt/shirt two days in a row without washing them ... it's just nicer to put on clean fresh clothes in the morning!

OP, as others have said, it's all about being organised. Make a list of tasks you have to do - both regular and one-off ones; give yourself deadlines for completing them, and tick them off as they're done.

Do you have a job?

Ickle Magoo

wylo, if you have an issue you wish clarification on then please start your own thread rather than hi-jacking other peoples.

Folks, there have already been multiple warnings on this thread. On-topic and helpful advice for the OP please.

ncmc

Hi Op, sounds like you really have gotten yourself into a total funk. I’m not sure if this is against the PI charter or not, but is it possible you are suffering from mild depression? Just some of the symptoms you describe could be the onset of depression, so please do keep an eye on that. It can be tough living alone and can be very easy to become isolated, but it sounds like you have a lot of (very understanding!) friends so hopefully that isn’t an issue for you.

As to how other people manage? Most people do little and often. Wash up after every meal, wipe down the surfaces, sweep the kitchen floor, put everything away. Every evening have a quick tidy of the living room, clear old rubbish, papers, dishes etc. In the morning, make your bed, put dirty clothes in the hamper. Basically leave rooms in a clean enough state that you don’t dread returning to them. Then once a week you can do a deeper clean, clean the bathroom, hoover the floors, put on a couple of washes etc. If you do a little every day, then the house doesn’t get into a state and it shouldn’t be a big job to clean.

As for the hygiene issue, I am a little shocked to be honest that you would have to even ask about underwear etc. You should be changing undies and socks every day. I would sometimes wear a t shirt twice, but I don’t sweat a lot. Jeans and trousers I would wear maybe 3 times. I am a bit bold about my bedding, I probably do it every 3 weeks! You should shower once a day in this heat, once every two days at the very very least.

You need to take control of all aspects of your life. Wean yourself away from the telly and the internet and start looking after yourself. You will feel so much better about yourself if you keep your house, yourself and your clothes clean and fresh. Get out for some exercise, it is so good for the mind and body. Make sure you are eating healthy food and getting lots of sleep (will help your pocket too if you’re not eating junk).

Your friends sound like they have been fantastic up til now! You’re actually lucky you have friends if you’re borrowing money and are slow to pay it back. You need to budget properly as previously stated. Chart all your incomings and outgoings and only go out for drinks if you can afford it.

None of this stuff is rocket science, you just seem to have got bogged down a bit. Time to give yourself a kick up the arse and start getting your life in shape! All the best OP.

Tabitharose

Hi OP, with a view to cleaning (and trust me most people do not like doing it, but it's a necessary evil) this site offers very good info on getting started:
http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/
(site's a bit "american" but has good advice)

The first step it recommends is to get into the habit of ensuring your kitchen sink is clean every night, so that you come in to a clean kitchen in the morning, it goes through baby steps in getting started, and the small changes that you can implement daily that will gradually (hopefully) become habitual.

It also makes good recommendations such as starting small, for example if your bedroom's a mess, don't go at the whole thing in one go, start for example with one drawer, or the top of your dressing table / bedside table, and once that is done, you'll feel you've achieved something, and be ready to move on to the next small area.

I'd suggest that you pick a certain day of the week to change your bed linen, it's best to do this weekly, if possible, and maybe as you spend a lot of time online you force yourself not to get online until you've spent a set amount of time on your home first - might not be easy to start with, but once you've managed to form the habit, you'll be a much happier in your home.

Good luck