Manager bullying me

socster

Ok well I work in this place, there is one other employee and the manager, who are both good friends, both worked there for 3+ years then there is me.
and basically from the start, I have being targeted at work. I have worked there for about 2 weeks now and they expect me to know how to cash up the figures on a till only after showing me only 3-4 times (each time different days,a nd is completely new topic just to mention and so the ways they do it, no standard way). And last night the manager and I were cashing up and I did an error, he then started getting annoyed and told me i was "really testing his patience", then followed by "what the hell were you thinking?" "i dont know what you were doing.. whatever it was it wasnt right" he then mentioned my personal life after completing exams he said "... i dont want to know what you got in your maths exam" I feel worthless and now do not enjoying work anymore and debate on quitting. Surely this can be pursued as bullying as I now feel like an idiot and feel worthless.

And only a few weeks ago, he threatened to take money out of my wages because of my till short €27 euro. He wouldnt even consider looking at the cameras when I was there however when he lost his car keys a week before hand, he used up a till just to find were he had placed his keys.

Advice is appreciated as I am the youngest working and also the 2nd employee of the shop which means I will be working with the manager alot of the time. I have lost my motivation in work and I feel that I have been robbed of a position that I would of enjoyed if the manager was a proper manager, instead of a bully to be honest.

I got the impression he was a bully even by the way he would talk to people with speech impairment but that is another issue rather than employment i reckon

christmas2012

if it is just a one off he stills sounds like a bit of a cnut but if it happens more than once,and he has a habit of zoning in on you then yes it is bullying,you should look up workplace guidelines on bullying,every workplace has them you should look for it..

socster

yeah like to be honest, I hate workin there now so I am going to take the email of the head and the person who employed me as he is the superior. I will complain to him and also I will look for the guidelines. He made me out to be a right idiot last night despite it was himself who done most of the errors that happened, luckily he did as he would of tried to take it out of my wages for this week.

cichlid child

Keep a diary and write everything down that he has said/done to you that you feel is bulling. Put a time and date on each occurrence

socster

cichlid child wrote: »

Keep a diary and write everything down that he has said/done to you that you feel is bulling. Put a time and date on each occurrence

I have started it from yesterday, just yesterday felt like he was targeting me as I am new.. The hours of me and the other employee are split uneven but I think that is because he is there longer, i thought part timers are split even? And as a part timer, he works 35-40 hours a week.

Opticom

All you can do for the time being is ignore his remarks and do not bite back, as that is what he wants. Treat it like water off a ducks back, and only talk to him and his pal about work matters and facts. Don't give them any personal information about yourself, personal opinion, or bother discussing anything else with them. In classic bully style, they'll use anything personal you tell them in casual conversation against you in one way or another sooner or later.

None of this is your fault. Like all bullies he's inadequate, jealous and self loathing in a few areas, and gets off on the power trip and putting down others.

No easy answer to this and it's going to get worse.

Long term you'll need to change jobs, not easy in this climate.

In the meantime, keep a dairy of these remarks, with the date, time and type of remark / incident. You'll be glad you did if anything serious happens, as it will be your word against his.

socster

Opticom wrote: »

All you can do for the time being is ignore his remarks and do not bite back, as that is what he wants. Treat it like water off a ducks back, and only talk to him and his pal about work matters and facts. Don't give them any personal information about yourself, personal opinion, or bother discussing anything else with them. In classic bully style, they'll use anything personal you tell them in casual conversation against you in one way or another sooner or later.

None of this is your fault. Like all bullies he's inadequate, jealous and self loathing in a few areas, and gets off on the power trip and putting down others.

No easy answer to this and it's going to get worse.

Long term you'll need to change jobs, not easy in this climate.

In the meantime, keep a dairy of these remarks, with the date, time and type of remark / incident. You'll be glad you did if anything serious happens, as it will be your word against his.

Sorry about the duplicate post, ill delete the other one if i can. Thanks for the reply. It helped me and as somebody else already suggested i'll keep a diary, I am going to apply for another job tomorrow but if I do leave this job, i am going to email the head as I feel as a manager he is not completing is role. He does not apply to the companies policy whatsoever and the way he treats customers especially with speech difficulties is sick. And as a company I feel they should have that brought to their attention, anyways thank you for your post and your time you put into it to help me. Advice was appreciated

ukonline

Lots of information about bullying here:

http://www.bullyonline.org/

Bandana boy

I am not sure this is bullying but rather a manager getting frustrated and losing his patience with one of his employees.

This reflects badly on the manager as part of his job is to train and motivate his staff.
That said it sounds like you are taking longer than the manager expects to be up and running in this job.
If you do not know how to do a task after being shown how to by a manager or another member of staff, you are an adult and expected to speak up.

Own your performance ,learn to do the job and learn from your mistakes.you will find many managers in other companies will handle the situation better but also many who will cut there losses and show you the door if an employee is taking longer than expected to get up to speed.

socster

Bandana boy wrote: »

I am not sure this is bullying but rather a manager getting frustrated and losing his patience with one of his employees.

This reflects badly on the manager as part of his job is to train and motivate his staff.
That said it sounds like you are taking longer than the manager expects to be up and running in this job.
If you do not know how to do a task after being shown how to by a manager or another member of staff, you are an adult and expected to speak up.

Own your performance ,learn to do the job and learn from your mistakes.you will find many managers in other companies will handle the situation better but also many who will cut there losses and show you the door if an employee is taking longer than expected to get up to speed.

cashing up okay fair enough, but he hasnt given the information needed in order to understand something, if u just do something and not be told why to do it or what it gives its like tryin to get a 5 year old to do algebra, it wouldn't make sense to them. And honestly, I dont feel that I should be the one given out to for something not being right for the few days before when I wasn't even working there during them days, but his friend was?

Bandana boy

socster wrote: »

cashing up okay fair enough, but he hasnt given the information needed in order to understand something, if u just do something and not be told why to do it or what it gives its like tryin to get a 5 year old to do algebra, it wouldn't make sense to them. And honestly, I dont feel that I should be the one given out to for something not being right for the few days before when I wasn't even working there during them days, but his friend was?

If you don't understand something ,ask for it to be explained.
While your manager is culpable here ,you as an employee are too if you don't speak up when unsure of something.Your not after all 5 years of age your an adult.

If i asked you to drive to Cork and you said fine ,then did not arrive stating you didn't know how to get there and that I never explained to you how to get there, i would place blame fully in your corner if you never asked me for directions or a map .

socster

Bandana boy wrote: »

If you don't understand something ,ask for it to be explained.
While your manager is culpable here ,you as an employee are too if you don't speak up when unsure of something.

If i asked you to drive to Cork and you said fine ,then did not arrive stating you didn't know how to get there and that I never explained to you how to get there, i would place blame fully in your corner if you never asked me for directions or a map .

I have asked, hence the " testing my patience " so it just cornered me into thinking I cannot ask how to do it because he simply doesn't want to explain

socster

And Im sorry but manager that counts wrong then gives out to me saying if i just done it right the first time we wouldnt have to be there then suddenly figures out he counted wrong, after 3-4 times, shouldnt be a manager. Expected an apology and what you know? He didnt even say sorry after telling me I have to cough up money because the box was short, if there wasnt a last recount the box would have my own money in there along with the money counted wrongly. I have decided to apply elsewhere as i feel it is the type of job where I could end up working a full week and then they'll take half of it away ( or try ) because of a cock up they done

Bandana boy

Opticom wrote: »

All the classic bullying signs are there, you don't have to deal with someone’s poor work performance that way, or use personal remarks to try and manipulate and control, its a sign of cluelessness and play the attack and blame game to deflect on their own poor management and mentoring ability, by a so called 'experienced' so called 'manager.'

All he had to say was "you've only got a few days to get this right, but don't worry we'll work together until you get it right and understand it, now where are you having the most difficulty ?"

Of course his manipulating controlling ego would not allow such decency.

I would want to hear more than is in the Op to call "bullying"
Being a poor manager is most of the time being a poor manger not necessarily a bully .
Some good advice when you have a problem is too look at root cause rather than symptoms.In this cases it is the OP's performance which seems to have instigated the issue ,there is a good chance that if the employee stops being a problem for his manager then the issue solves itself.

That does not condone or applaud this managers style of correction ,reprimand or training.OP cannot conceivably change the managers style but what he can do is change his own performance.

If issue still remains and/or his manager starts getting personal about OP's lifestyles ,gender etc then I think a bullying charge is fair.

We have really good guidelines and rules in this country for treating staff ,unfortunately many companies have mangers that fall short of them ,learning to deal with bad managers is part and parcel of getting by in this country.

Opticom

Bandana boy wrote: »

Some good advice when you have a problem is too look at root cause rather than symptoms.

The root cause is the "manager’s" behaviour pattern. Read the entire post, you've only focussed in on one issue/and incident, and not the rest, and the issue of performance should not have been addressed in the way it was. It would have been quite easy to say "you've only got a few days to get this right, but don't worry, we'll work on it together until you've been given every chance to get it right, now, what are you having most difficulty with ?"

Bandana boy wrote: »

We have really good guidelines and rules in this country for treating staff

Guidelines that are there for nice show in 90% of cases. So who in reality is actually going to ensure the enforcement of these wonderful guidelines in the OP's case ? The "manager" knows full well the OP cannot afford the time and money to take him to court.

socster

Bandana boy wrote: »

I would want to hear more than is in the Op to call "bullying"
Being a poor manager is most of the time being a poor manger not necessarily a bully .
Some good advice when you have a problem is too look at root cause rather than symptoms.In this cases it is the OP's performance which seems to have instigated the issue ,there is a good chance that if the employee stops being a problem for his manager then the issue solves itself.

That does not condone or applaud this managers style of correction ,reprimand or training.OP cannot conceivably change the managers style but what he can do is change his own performance.

If issue still remains and/or his manager starts getting personal about OP's lifestyles ,gender etc then I think a bullying charge is fair.

We have really good guidelines and rules in this country for treating staff ,unfortunately many companies have mangers that fall short of them ,learning to deal with bad managers is part and parcel of getting by in this country.

What it honestly feels like is, since I been there that ive been targeted to do things that they haven't even taught me, tryin to find a fault in something i do just to get more reasons to kick somebody out.. You cant bring somebody into a work environment which is their first place of work and expect them to run when they are getting up on their feet just about to walk. I don't have work enough days to get used to their style of doing things and only now am I beginning to settle into doing certain things, my main issue is the cashing up and I have asked plenty of questions about it during it to try and grasp what to do, honestly he is stuck up is own ...

and commenting about somebody's personal life in the wrong way is bullying especially when they laugh about it afterwards.

Im sure when he first started there he didnt no everything in the first week of employment.

Bandana boy

Opticom wrote: »

The root cause is the "manager’s" behaviour pattern. Read the entire post, you've only focussed in on one issue/and incident, and not the rest, and the issue of performance should not have been addressed in the way it was. It would have been quite easy to say "you've only got a few days to get this right, but don't worry, we'll work on it together until you've been given every chance to get it right, now, what are you having most difficulty with ?"



Guidelines that are there for nice show in 90% of cases. So who in reality is actually going to ensure the enforcement of these wonderful guidelines in the OP's case ? The "manager" knows full well the OP cannot afford the time and money to take him to court.

Managers behaviour is a symptom.Most Managers only give out to an employee when something has gone wrong.

Now lets assume we root cause this to the Managers training.We cannot change what he thinks is appropriate training but we can do is stick at it until we feel we are trained,take good notes etc.

Re:Guidelines ,that is kind of my point ,many mangers are not as good as the guidelines ,all though i think 90% is a vast exaggeration.Learning to deal with this reality is what any young person starting out on their career has to do.
Feeling bad after a reprimand is not the same as being bullied.Even if it is dealt with as oafishly as by this manager.

evolving_doors

Bandana boy wrote: »

I would want to hear more than is in the Op to call "bullying"
Being a poor manager is most of the time being a poor manger not necessarily a bully .
Some good advice when you have a problem is too look at root cause rather than symptoms.In this cases it is the OP's performance which seems to have instigated the issue ,there is a good chance that if the employee stops being a problem for his manager then the issue solves itself.

That does not condone or applaud this managers style of correction ,reprimand or training.OP cannot conceivably change the managers style but what he can do is change his own performance.

If issue still remains and/or his manager starts getting personal about OP's lifestyles ,gender etc then I think a bullying charge is fair.

We have really good guidelines and rules in this country for treating staff ,unfortunately many companies have mangers that fall short of them ,learning to deal with bad managers is part and parcel of getting by in this country.

I think in fairness the op has attempted to ask for clarification on procedures, but has been rebuffed in a demeaning way e.g."really testing his patience" "what the hell were you thinking?" "i dont know what you were doing.. whatever it was it wasnt right" "... i dont want to know what you got in your maths exam"

The root cause of his problem IS the training or lack thereof, does the OP seem to have a learning difficulty or does the OP's manager have a teaching difficulty. Seems like the latter to me as OP's forthcoming enough to seek out help here on boards so I'd take his word for it that he's tried to seek out help and clarification at his job.

The only advice I could give to the OP is to bide your time till another job comes through. Doing this is not going to be easy as it sounds like any attempt on your behalf to do your job as best you can will result in him feeling the need to belittle you at every turn. This is probably because he is afraid that you will reveal how you could probably manage to do your job without him managing you, thus making his purpose redundant. I bet he probably goes home every day thinking 'wow i have a difficult time managing this new guy, my job is just so difficult and complicated now' when in actual fact the guy just needs to answer your questions no matter how many times you need to ask. The fact that he takes the piss out of someones disability also shows his insecurity.

I know this sounds like a horrible suggestion but in the past when i've met a few people like this I've had to 'dumb myself down' a little, i.e. ask him loads of basic questions that you already know the answers to, this will make him feel superior no end and then eventually you can work in the 'proper' questions.

Dunno if this might help as it depends on the workplace you're in; if you're really wary of any future confrontations that might happen then start taking notes on any conversations you have with him about procedures, make him see that your keeping notes too so that he cant contradict you, if he gives an instruction repeat it back to him by maybe asking for a little clarification around the topic.

Hope this helps, a very successful person once told me that if you're not making mistakes then you're not learning anything, also your mistakes should also be teaching your boss as to what they need to fix.

socster

Thank you for your reply, i think the manager is bad at teaching because the last employee to enter the store was years ago, since then it has only been me, not an excuse however as he still meant to provide the training, as much as I need to as I'm new.. I don't have any learning difficulties, but like I said earlier if your teaching a child algebra, u gotta explain what happens in order to get your end results, In my case this didn't happen. I have started taking notings of comments he will make and I have since applied for a job, however I feel I might as well bite the bullet until hopefully, I get called back for an interview. I have asked the manager questions and I wasn't hesitatant, even to clarify so the blame could not root back to me.. They say some employees are lucky to have jobs, quite frank it's some managers who are lucky..

Thanks all for the replies much appreciated, just felt like I had no where else to go for advice to be honest.. You all helped me in some way :-)

Opticom

socster wrote: »

They say some employees are lucky to have jobs, quite frank it's some managers who are lucky..

You've hit the nail on the head, in my experience, the management and people skills of most Irish 'managers' and their 'professionalism' is atrocious. Most of them are clueless bullies who were promoted because of their bullying skills, not their management ones, and use the tactic of falsely attacking others in order to draw attention away from their own incompetence and lack of skill.

Wanderer2010

Opticom wrote: »

You've hit the nail on the head, in my experience, the management and people skills of most Irish 'managers' and their 'professionalism' is atrocious. Most of them are clueless bullies who were promoted because of their bullying skills, not their management ones, and use the tactic of falsely attacking others in order to draw attention away from their own incompetence and lack of skill.

Thats a bit of a broad brush saying most of them. I have worked for quite a few bosses in my time and yes, some of them were clueless but were still very nice people, others knew the job inside out and were nasty to all those under their employ. Its a lottery as to whether you get a decent boss or a cretin, but for every bully boss there are plenty if genuinely nice people out there who care for their staff and their progress.

Opticom

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Thats a bit of a broad brush saying most of them.

Obviously I can only go by my own 27 years at work and not yours. And in my experience it was most of them. Count your blessings so, perhaps you're in a more professional industry/sector. I'm not naming it here, but my sector is one of the most corrupt and gangster ridden industries in Ireland (and therefore Western Europe). I've worked abroad quite a bit in the same sector and found it much more professional.

tatli_lokma

OP I know you are in a difficult situation and finding it tough, particularly because it is your first job and you don't yet have the life skills or work experiences to know how to deal with it.
Much of the advice given here has been really good so take it on board.

Look on the one positive to come out of this... as a result of this experience you will know how to deal with bosses better next time round, and if you ever get to be a manager don't forget how you are feeling now, as this is a useful lesson to learn on how not to manage! learn from his mistakes.

I had some awful bosses when I was in college...some who were nice but just took advantage, and one in particular who was nothing short of a slave driving gangster! But now when I look back I realise just how much I learned from those experiences. And here I am, in a good job that I enjoy, and where are they? well one guy in particular who was the assistant manager and a right knob head, who claimed at the age of 25 he'd have his own empire of retail shops by the time he was 40 and would laugh at all us 'losers' as he called us, is now 42 yrs old and still works in the local supermarket, never even been promoted to manager. Everytime I see him he has a face like a slapped arse and pretends he's too busy to even say hello to me...karma does a good job sometimes!