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Paranoia

  • 24-05-2012 4:35pm
    #1
    Lionel Messy
    Site Banned Posts: 612 ✭✭✭


    I find it hard in any social situation, I fear i'll bump into someone i know and make an arse of myself(this has happened several times in the past, blushing/speaking nervously etc.)

    I also feel complete strangers think ill of me. It's an unfounded paranoia but it's what i feel. I am a loser with no job, girlfriend, friends etc. And i won't rectify these things untill i get confidence.

    I don't want to be the loser I am, i'm getting the proper therapy in a bid to gain confidence. At the moment, i am really self-conscious and won't leave the house. It's one of THEM days.


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    In my experience the only way to beat this is practice. Hiding in the house will never help. You need to challenge your fears and make yourself do the things you find difficult. It is horrendous at first, I know. But it WILL get easier. Start with simple situations that you find hard, whether thats making small talk in a shop, or even just eye contact and hello. But do it. And when your brain runs back through it afterwards and makes you feel like you were terrible or whatever, recognise those thoughts as damaging, and stop that thought process. Whats done is done, and you dont rehash it.

    Good luck, I hope you beat this.


  • #3
    eimear10
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 149 ✭✭eimear10


    Lionel Messy wrote: »
    I find it hard in any social situation, I fear i'll bump into someone i know and make an arse of myself(this has happened several times in the past, blushing/speaking nervously etc.)

    I also feel complete strangers think ill of me. It's an unfounded paranoia but it's what i feel. I am a loser with no job, girlfriend, friends etc. And i won't rectify these things untill i get confidence.

    I don't want to be the loser I am, i'm getting the proper therapy in a bid to gain confidence. At the moment, i am really self-conscious and won't leave the house. It's one of THEM days.


    That's good to hear your getting help, I doubt your a loser and the girlfriend friends will come along once you get out more I'm sure.

    Join a sports club if ur interested in sports !? Or even start an evening college course in something you have an interest in. Good way to make friends ! Or get a dog, a lot of socialising when ur out walking them !

    Best of luck :)

    Things could always be worse


  • #4
    UndertheBridge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40 ✭UndertheBridge


    Lionel Messy wrote: »
    I find it hard in any social situation, I fear i'll bump into someone i know and make an arse of myself(this has happened several times in the past, blushing/speaking nervously etc.)

    I also feel complete strangers think ill of me. It's an unfounded paranoia but it's what i feel. I am a loser with no job, girlfriend, friends etc. And i won't rectify these things untill i get confidence.

    I don't want to be the loser I am, i'm getting the proper therapy in a bid to gain confidence. At the moment, i am really self-conscious and won't leave the house. It's one of THEM days.

    I feel like you are speaking my past, I have gone through social anxiety back in the day and I still have "moments" of it today. For me, I think stressors or things that cause it at the moment are due to college (too much work, exams). I can feel myself slipping in recent weeks, getting back into the whole avoiding people thing and generally feeling unhappy but I think that treatment in the past has thought me that you just have to pick yourself up and get on with it.

    Its a good thing to hear that you are getting therapy! For me CBT helped massively, it helped rid of my "people paranoia" that you are referring to. But its by no means a quick fix- it takes time. Getting help is the hardest thing, you are so on the right track now :)

    You are NOT a loser just because you have no job or girlfriend, my previous problems have held me back in relationships/dating in the past and probably still do, I think the only type of person I will be comfortable with is someone who understands/has gone through the same thing. Have you thought about perhaps going to college/furthering education a bit? For me, going to college was the most stressful thing I ever done but has helped me massively. It keeps me motivated, I always have goals to think of and it is good to mix with people, and you automatically make friends who are on the same par as you (I probably have only 2-3 close friends, but its better than the zero I had before I came here).

    You are not alone and not the only one who has paranoia, reading comments on here will show you this and hopefully give you a bit of strength!

    PS completely unrelated but your username made me smile :D


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