Proposing and timing?

LegacyUser

I guess this is more of happier post for these parts but I'm going to propose to my girlfriend in Aug on our first anniversary. We're both in our mid 30's and it feels a bit weird (for me) to propose to someone after knowing them for a year. It doesn't seem sensible but for the first time in my life it feels right, so I'm going with it. We're both mature and very solid with each other, we've already discussed marriage, so the proposal is more of a formality at this stage

The issue is we're travelling to the city she grew up in, where I'll get to meet some of her immediate family for the first time! It's her grandad's 90th, so bit of a big deal.

Would it be really rude of me to propose on our anniversary, just a few days prior to meeting half her family and just before her grandad's 90th? Or is it better to leave till after? It's minor issue I guess but you know yourself!

Beruthiel

Someonelikeyou wrote: »

Would it be really rude of me to propose on our anniversary, just a few days prior to meeting half her family and just before her grandad's 90th?

You're all grown ups.
Certainly her 90 year old grandad won't give a toss, and if he's in good health, will most likely be delighted for her.
It will be a double celebration and will make the trip home for her even better as she will be with her family to break the good news.
More reason to party.
I say go for it.

P. Breathnach

Someonelikeyou wrote: »

...
Would it be really rude of me to propose on our anniversary, just a few days prior to meeting half her family and just before her grandad's 90th? Or is it better to leave till after? It's minor issue I guess but you know yourself!

The proposal is between you and her. Do it when it seems right for the two of you. The context of celebrating your anniversary might be a good circumstance.

You can keep quiet about it for a few days, and use meeting her family as an opportunity to announce your engagement (assuming that she accepts you!).

Daisy M

Congrats!! I have found with friends and family who get together with someone in their 30s they seem to know more quickly if this is the person for them. Go ahead with your plan and if you gf wants to leave the announcement until after the 90th respect that. Personally I think it wil be an extra reason to celebrate.

LegacyUser

I also forgot to mention, her family are fundamentalist Christians! Now the half I've met so far have been fine and I know they like me. However, the other half I'm about to meet are (and my SO would say this herself) bat **** banana crazy!

They're very concerned that she's not Christian anymore (considering she's going to hell now) and I guess my atheist self isn't helping her salvation any It's not a big deal I guess, it just throws the timing question up for debate a bit more.

Beruthiel

Someonelikeyou wrote: »

I also forgot to mention, her family are fundamentalist Christians! Now the half I've met so far have been fine and I know they like me. However, the other half I'm about to meet are (and my SO would say this herself) bat **** banana crazy!

Oh.
Fundies give me the willies.
Can't take them seriously.

I guess my atheist self isn't helping her salvation any It's not a big deal I guess, it just throws the timing question up for debate a bit more.

Indeed.
Personally, if anyone brought the question up, I'd tell them mind their own business.
Or, if you like to stir things up a bit, feel free to tell them you're a baby eating atheist.

As for the timing, propose and leave it to your g/f to decide whither to tell them or not.

Piliger

I think the timing is your choice, as long as you know she is going to accept. If you know that and you know she is ready in her life then go for it.

tinkerbell

I agree with Beruthiel, propose when you want! It doesn't matter about the grandad's 90th, etc. on a few days later.

matrim

I'd agree with the propose when you want. If your girlfriend thinks that some of the family will get upset about the timing then you can always delay telling them until after the grandads 90th.