lonely

LegacyUser

im a single female in my thirties and incredibly lonely , I have no close friends, no close family, my work colleagues are a completely different age group. I know people will say join clubs, go out etc but i have done that, joined many things happening in the evenings but found people there had their own friends and just wanted to go home at end of event etc, tried internet dating but wasn't successful, People seem to see me as nerdy and boring and im sneered alot but im socialable and kind and just want people to see that part of me and maybe see me as a potential friend

dellas1979

Well, half the battle is knowing that you want to change this, so keep trying.
It is beyond difficult to make friends as you get older. Mainly because people are already in "clicky" groups, or have a partner as a social crutch (they mainly take this for granted) and dont make the effort to get to know new people.
What sort of clubs etc are you joining? Are you living in a town/city?

LegacyUser

OP I completely get where you're coming from. I'm in a similar situation. One thing I have observed about evening classes etc.. people who go to them are usually there with the sole intent of gaining a skill, not necessarily making friends. They may be coming to class straight from work and heading straight home to their kids afterwards. I think a much better option is joining a group that is hobby/activity based. For example, a girl I know of quite randomly joined a canoeing club!!! She ended up having a ball and meeting her fella in the club The reason I say this is that the social aspect of such activity-based clubs tend to be better, I think!

Can you sing? Join a choir! (I can personally recommend this). You will have to attend practice at least once a week and may get to travel around the country a bit if your choir competes. That can be a bit of craic. I know 'join a club' is probably the last thing you want to hear, but those of us who are single or just looking to form a group of friends just have to acknowledge the fact that we have to make a REAL effort to get out there, keep ourselves active and meet people. Sometimes it is a real pain in the a$$. I truly, truly get that. Just have a good long think about what group-based activity you might enjoy (amateur dramatics? Rock climbing? Tag rubgy? Toastmasters?) and give it a lash. You have nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain.

AckwelFoley

I think most people's greatest fear is being alone of you ask them, many won't admit it but its mine certainly.

I don't know of any other ways of meeting people other than social clubs sporting clubs etc.. perhapss its a case that you don't stick at anyone thing long enough or perhaps its a case that you are expecting things to happen too fast.

Friendship I've found is something that grows over a long time, its taken me years to have the friends I have.

There is no easy answers or solutions, what tends to happen is that friendship tends to develop when you're least expecting it, it happens through habit and mutual interest.

All I can advise is that its essentially like a lottery ticket, you can't win it if your not in it. Join a club ar activity that you've an interest in, and be proactive in that by helping organise things within it. Stick with it, it won't happen today or tomorrow but there are more people in your position.

I've always suggested boards.ie meetups, I've found the few times I've attended that when the ice is broken they are a very social bunch and there ae many to attend.

Above all be yourself.

coco_lola

A really great way to meet friends is to have a look in The Ladies Lounge, start posting, and come to the Beers on June 16th

We are all a very friendly bunch, it will be my first beers too!

Colonel Panic

For what it's worth, being nerdy and into different things is appreciated by a lot of people. It's just a matter of being yourself. Easy for me to say, I know but I'm much happier just not giving a crap what people think and doing my own thing.

Of course, meeting like minded people isn't a recipe for success, you'll always have jerks or people you don't click with, but cliché or not, it's always easier when you're more comfortable with yourself.

coco_lola

Have you tried meetup.com OP? There's groups for all different interests there, and the great thing about the site is that everyone is there for the same purpose - to meet more people!

It really is all about taking a deep breath and having the courage to make the effort, it can be really scary trying to make new friends sometimes, but a smile really goes a long way in making new friends

CliffHuxtabel

coco_lola wrote: »

Have you tried meetup.com

Wow, what a nice idea for a site. Thanks for the heads up