Pre-teen - discipline

Redpunto

Just wondering how other people discipline their kids before going out to school. My fella can be very cheeky and rude. I work evenings so its their dad whos with them so I cant really give out chores etc for the evening time for rudeness in the morning? He has aspergers so we find the consequence has to be immediate or it has no effect. Thanks

Quality

I threaten to take something off my lad or not allow him to do something


And then I follow through, no tv or no wii or no football with his mates. Then that night I tell him if he is goo for the rest of the week, he will get money for a treat, 2euro for match attacks or a magazine, I follow through on that an use it as a reminder in the morns for him to be good

My fella is 6, no aspergers, but my nephew has it, boundaries and makin things very clear are important with him.

Morag

Make it instant. My son is the same and has the same issues.
Being made to hand over his DS which he then didn't have access to or
being banned off the xbox worked, but there has to be follow through by both parents.

Piliger

OP - Why is his Dad not doing discipline at the time ? Why is it left to you ?

Redpunto

Piliger wrote: »

OP - Why is his Dad not doing discipline at the time ? Why is it left to you ?

Thanks for the replies - my husband leaves before kids are up so its messy if he has to discipline the child 8 hours later by the other parent dishing out the punishment if that makes sense! most commonly we put a ban on computer games, etc but its not stopping the behaviour.

Piliger

I don't believe anyone here has special knowledge of aspergers children and it seems to me that the discipline needs to be customised to best suit their particular needs.
I googled "aspergers discipline" and got immediate results.

Best of luck.

BengaLover

I dont use the word punishment anymore - I always threaten with a 'consequence' and explain that everything you do in life, every decision has a consequence, and if you make the wrong choice then sometimes the outcome wont be pleasant. I believe this is something modern kids just arent getting.

yoda2001

I think kids with Asperger's need more structure than other kids. You (both) need to be unrelenting and consistent. It is better to start now while your son is young. It may be much more difficult in a few short years when you hit secondary school and the teenage years.

Redpunto

BengaLover wrote: »

I dont use the word punishment anymore - I always threaten with a 'consequence' and explain that everything you do in life, every decision has a consequence, and if you make the wrong choice then sometimes the outcome wont be pleasant. I believe this is something modern kids just arent getting.

Thats one of his major "issues" and the aspergers is definitely not helping. He has no clue of consequences. We are just trying to be patient and consistent.

LegacyUser

Redpunto wrote: »

Thats one of his major "issues" and the aspergers is definitely not helping. He has no clue of consequences. We are just trying to be patient and consistent.

I was just reading this and then remembered how I read that frontal lobe defects can cause exactly this type of thing where a person has no concept of consequences of thier actions and will go for the immediate gratification and be impulive without thinking of the consequences.
Perhaps he should be examined more closely in this regard. Doe he have any known abnormailty in the brain?

Here are the articles I was looking at, theymay shed some light on your sons unfortunate condition.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe_injury#Neuropsychological_Effects

Also see this article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe#Function

The executive functions of the frontal lobes involve the ability to recognize future consequences resulting from current actions, to choose between good and bad actions (or better and best), override and suppress unacceptable social responses, and determine similarities and differences between things or events.