Did he fall out of love?

LegacyUser

Have been with my OH for 3.5 yrs, we had a surprise pregnancy just over a year into it but being honest once over the shock we were both delighted and love our little man to bits. He proposed just after the birth ( this was by no means something he would have felt compelled by me to do) and we are getting married this Christmas.

OH Has been overseas for 6 months with work and returned almost two weeks ago. I thought things were a bit strange to begin with but assumed it was just settling back in and getting used to being together again but I really think he has drifted from me.

I struggled to lose weight after the birth of our son but while he was overseas I put in great effort to lose 2 stone for his return and feel I am back to the slim, well groomed girl he fell in love with. Aside from making great effort to look nice, I've been cooking his favourite meals, suggesting nice things to do together like lunch, walks with our son even just cuddling up on the couch with movies. He just doesn't seem interested, he goes along with what I suggest but I don't think I've seen him smile once since he returned, he didn't even notice that I looked any different. He has no interest in making any plans to do anything with me, seems happy enough to play around with our son at home but that's as far as it goes. Trying to get conversation out of him is like drawing blood from a turnip and we don't even eat together.

As far as sex goes that is all he wants but he shuts down again as soon as we finished... seems like the days of pillow talk or cuddles are well and truly over.

I've tried to talk to him and see is he settling back in ok, if he is happy if there is things he wants me to do, to organise, even things he'd like me to pick up with the shopping for him.

I don't want to push things but I just don't know whats going on with him and don't know where to go from here. We've been waiting for his return for six months and now it feels like he is still not back

ManOfMystery

Did you talk to him often (skype, etc) while he was away? Did you get any sense of this distant behaviour then?

Killed By Death

That's hard OP. Is there any chance he met someone else while away?

He seems very cold/indifferent twords you.

LegacyUser

We skyped nearly every day but it's hard to to have a proper conversation on that. Coverage was poor where he was so always a delay or calls dropping so I couldn't really tell.

I don't really think he met someone else, he wouldn't have met anyone outside of his colleagues and it's a 95% male environment. Plus he really wouldn't be the type to cheat and I don't think that's whats happened.

P. Breathnach

I'll accept your judgement that he didn't cheat on you. Is there a possibility that something might have happened when he was away that had a profound impact on his psychological state?

uck51js9zml2yt

Its very easy for the distance to effect a relationship.
A chat on skype isn't the same as the normal interaction a couple have when they are together.

My wife and son are away for 5 weeks seeing her parents in another country and I know how tough it is finding something to say on a scheduled chat when nothing has happened to us that day...and I miss them loads:rolleyes:

A soldier friend told me of the effects being on a tour of duty abroad for 6 months has on a lot of relationships.

He needs to adjust back to family life and you both need to work on getting to know each other again. Give him time, involve him but don't crowd him.

You've not lost him, you just need to find each other again.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. I guess I just have to give it more time and let us all re-adjust to our new situation.