Emotionally exhausted self confidence eroded

sick_of_this

So I literally feel like I can't take no more emotionally as a result of the way an ex has treated me. I just can't understand how someone I thought once respected me even just as a person has treated me like a nobody with no respect for my feelings what so ever. My self confidence has hit the floor because of the things he has said but not only that the way he has acted by rubbing my nose in the fact that he is totally over me when he knows I am already going through a tough time. I just can't believe the total lack of respect he has shown, I feel so low at this. I don't care what he does as long as he doesn't try to bring me down which he has but it seems he doesn't even care. I literally just don't have the will to live right now, it has destroyed the girl I once was.

WhatNowForUs?

Stick in there. breaking up is hard and emotions are all over the place, this probably includes him. He needs tp reajust to the situation and that is probably the reason hes being a dick. The best thing to do I think is for yourself to find something new to do that you've had on the back to your mind to do for a long time.

C.D.

Hi OP,

The fact that he has gone to lengths to get to you shows he is not over you. I've been through my fair share of abusive relationships and breakups where girls have treated me badly. You will get through it, I promise you. And as cheesy as it sounds, you'll also learn how somebody who genuinely cares about you will treat you and that some people in life are just not worth your time.

The best thing to do is to cut all contact- no Facebook, emails, calls or text messages. Spend lots of time with your friends and family. Buy that tub of ice cream, but don't watch Bridget Jones or any other Rom Com. Go dancing, just remember to bring flats.

sick_of_this

I wish it was that easy. We broke up quite awhile ago so this isn't a recent breakup. We are not in contact as such either so that really isn't the problem at all. He most definitely has absolutely no feelings for me whatsoever in any shape or form I can assure you. That is very much not in doubt. What has got to me is remarks that have been made in an online environment without any thought to how it might hurt me to see it and he knows I can see it. Yes it is his business but the guy I thought I knew I thought would have more respect for me than to air stuff like that when he knows how it might get to me. I just want to know why he has been so ignorant to how this makes me feel and he won't even answer me that. I am just so upset that he hasn't even considered how this is affecting me when he knows the type of person I am. I just feel so used. I really don't have any will left. All I want is him not to treat me like I never existed. I never though I would see the day where he would be so indifferent to me. It's like my existence to him is nothing.

LegacyUser

Wait a second, you say your not in contact and it's not a recent breakup... Are these comments about you? Are you reading them on Facebook or in some kind of blog?

I'm sorry but if these comments are not about you, then all you have to do is stop reading them. If it's on FB, de-friend, if it's a blog or something... You know just don't read it?

AckwelFoley

You are hurting now, that's normal. He is treating you like this for what ever reasonbut its irrelevant. If he were as you wished you would still be hurting, you can now see what he is like from the outside looking in, and realise that he is capable of being like this. If you love someone truely I believe part of you never falls out of live with that other person,so in essance. How he could treat you like that is beyond me, but you are better off without him.

You can't let him affect you, easier said than done if course, but I suspect you are a very sensitive person and can't help it but you have to.

Op, people can be cruel, but the ones that matter won't. People that are positive for you would neverbe like that so you have to realise that this guy is being an ass because that's what hes made of. I guarentee you without hesitation, there are so many guys out there that will make you feel good about yourself, you will look back in this in a few years when the hurt is gone and realise he is an ass and that you wasted your time caring about how he made you feel now.

Forget about him.

branbee

Op i could have written your first post myself! Im going through a similar thing with an ex- absolute disbelief that he can treat me the way he is after everything we've been through. All you can do is find peace in the fact that you're acting with dignity and he is not. He will regret being an ass, you will have no regrets. Keep your chin up, be the bigger person and focus on being the you that you want to be. Im slowly learning that you will only be happy again if you change things to suit yourself. Do things that make you happy instead of sitting around waiting for it to happen. Its really hard and it sucks when the person you love is horrible to you. Someone you thought could never hurt you is the person causing you all this hurt-its horrible but you have the choice to let them ruin you or not. You have the choice to ignore it and move on and start being happy- you just have to decide you want to start doing something about it.
You'll be ok.

sick_of_this

I know this is very much myself digging my own hole. I shouldn't be putting myself in a position where I can see anything he writes but I thought I was fine up until now, turning a blind eye and that. Just to point out it is not facebook, we have no contact there. To be honest I am not even concerned because I am still in love with him or anything and that it hurts to see him moving on, it's not that at all. I have accepted the whole him not having feelings for me. It hurts me more that a person who knew me so well as a person and whom I respected as a person and cared a lot for is treating me like I never existed. He was my first relationship, probably the closest I have ever got to anyone. I just wanted it to mean something. I find it so hard to come to terms with because even if I avoided seeing it I know now what I mean to him and it will still get to me no matter how much I try to busy myself, keep active etc. etc. I guess I just want to know how could someone be so different???? I just feel like I never knew him or is there something wrong with me??

LegacyUser

If you have no contact or are not friends on FB, how do you know about what he's doing or saying?

Are you supposed to be friends? If not, yes you can be upset, but you can't force him to be in contact with you. Lot's of people prefer to completely cut contact with exes. You say he's treating you as if he has never existed, to me this sounds like he having no sort of contact with you? Are you calling him, messaging him, etc? If that's what he's doing then I'm sorry but it's his right. Your are broken up, if he wants no contact that's his prerogative. Has a friend told you he's now seeing some else or something?

I'm sorry but I have a feeling this is down to you having trouble with him moving on, which is fine and understandable, but in no way does it make him a bad person. I mean do you expect him to keep his personal life and new relationships under wraps to save your feelings? I'm saying this because you've said you have no contact with him and you aren't friends with him on FB. So I just don't understand how you know what he's saying online unless your purposely looking him up.

AckwelFoley

sick_of_this wrote: »

I know this is very much myself digging my own hole. I shouldn't be putting myself in a position where I can see anything he writes but I thought I was fine up until now, turning a blind eye and that. Just to point out it is not facebook, we have no contact there. To be honest I am not even concerned because I am still in love with him or anything and that it hurts to see him moving on, it's not that at all. I have accepted the whole him not having feelings for me. It hurts me more that a person who knew me so well as a person and whom I respected as a person and cared a lot for is treating me like I never existed. He was my first relationship, probably the closest I have ever got to anyone. I just wanted it to mean something. I find it so hard to come to terms with because even if I avoided seeing it I know now what I mean to him and it will still get to me no matter how much I try to busy myself, keep active etc. etc. I guess I just want to know how could someone be so different???? I just feel like I never knew him or is there something wrong with me??

No there's nothing wrong with you. When you fall in love you open up to someone more than you do to anyone else. You let your guard down, the effect is that you are open, you share things that you share with nobody else, you are a different person with them than you will be with anyone and itdba risk that you take, a true love is one on my opinion that if the relationship Doent work out the level of respect and the fondness remains. My first love, o don't see her but I respect her and o cherish the time I spent, bit the reality is we were not suited.

Your ex is wither very immature or never.felt.the same way about you asyou did about him. You can't control how others behave. It's quite likely your ex is young, and is perhaps trying to impress his peers with his feckless attitudeeven though inside he does care more than he shows.

Either way don't get too hung up on it, I know you feel betrayed, that's the down side of falling in love, you can get hurt, but falling in love is worth it. Someday either sence or karma will catch up with him...I tend to think both.