Depression and others

LegacyUser

Hello,

I am a college student, 22, female and I am aware that this topic has probably been done to death on PI.

Since secondary school and to the present time I have always exhibited the symptoms of depression and anxiety (particularly in social situations) and have only recently been diagnosed "formally" with it in the recent months. To say that it is not "overruling my life" would be an understatement. Unfortunately due to university committments and the fact that I am studying a healthcare course that demands a lot of my time (if I am not studying I am on placement every other day),this is prohibiting any treatment of it (medication would be a no-no and I cannot afford/do not have the time for counselling). Strangely my depression and anxiety does not affect my academic work, I find solice in studying etc as its probably the way I can avoid social situations. When on placement I just get on with it, you are conditioned to communicate a certain way with patients etc and you get comfortable with that, communication with people is just a fleeting interaction in my case.

When I started university this september I began to lose my depression in a way and made friends (and still have friends), for the first time in my life I was making myself go out and socialise (although I never felt comfortable with it but it was a start), however after christmas this has begun to change. I am now a complete introvert and despite having so many people around me I always feel so alone. I know myself that I have started pushing people away, I decline invites for nights out/nights in. I just want to be left alone, in my room. I have just turned 22 and I am just so sick of the whole situation now. I am thinking of leaving university because of it. For the past few weeks I have not been sleeping properly, been generally "ill" most of the time and just have anxiety all of the time.

A couple of weeks ago I seen a counsellor for just one session (was a friend of another family member). He suggested that I try and tell my friends about my depression etc but encouraged me not to disclose anything to my tutors at university, as due to the course I am doing, it could be seen in a very negative light.

In recent weeks I have had a bit of an epiphany and have decided to get help over the summer time and come back to university with a fresh start. I have decided that I don't want to live with my current friends next year and have easily rented out my room to another person. I am planning on living in new accom, with people I don't know and hopefully can make new friends with. I have been looking into treatment centres etc for depression and severe anxiety and have spoken with my parents about the possibility of doing something like this. I'm not expecting it to be a magic wand and completely cure everything but I am just so focussed on "a new start". However my parents think leaving my old friends behind (i.e finding somewhere else to live etc is a bad idea and think that it is just the usual "pushing people away" that I have always done.

I would just like opinions of people who have gotton treatment. is a new start really a good option or should you involve friends etc and disclose to them how you are really feeling? I am quite apprehensive about this and I think it could be viewed quite negatively by a couple of them (coincidently they would be the immature group of the bunch). What are peoples experiences/opinions of treatment centres?

Thank you

Ickle Magoo

We don't encourage posters to give recommendations re treatments or professionals, the reason why is explained HERE OP.

I hope you get some good advice regarding your other questions tho.

All the best.

AckwelFoley

Op, i would be selective on who i tell, friends or not...its not for everyone, for me, i am rather open about it but you have to be prepared for the negatives, one of them being ignorance, and at 22 you will be surrounded by it.

Ive also found professionally that there is a fair degree of discrimination, something that may pass through the net with you when you are in a bad place but will be as plain as the nose on your face further down the line.

My opinion is change isnt always good, personally i wouldnt separate from your friends as this can cause other anxiety problems...

You wont be able to sort this out and be back fresh over the summer, generally its a much slower process, that said its a good start.

Confide in a freind or two by all means, but choose carefully, further issues of anxiety generated by perceived ridicule by the ignorant and mis informed is not what you need right now

LegacyUser

I would also be wary about telling friends about depression/anxiety unless you are very close with them. People can turn on you and use it against you in future. Why do you not want to live with your friends next year? If you think it would make you more comfortable then go for it. Just be aware they may take offense and you may isolate yourself more than needed.

LegacyUser

I agree with possibly restricting who you tell about this to very close friends who you trust, but personally worrying that they'd use it against me would be the last thing on my mind and I imagine that is highly unlikely OP.

I'm not in the same situation but I'm having some issues myself around anxiety, confidence and possibly an element of depression. I'm finding myself not particularly enthusiastic about anything, or at least, very little. I'd be more excited about staying in and watching something on TV with a chinese takeaway than going on holiday somewhere, which doesn't make much sense to me. I've also gone from being a worrier to having elements of anxiety starting to affect my life in a negative way. I've found myself occasionally rejecting social nights out and trips away because of it.

I'm also not sure that going through with big wholesale changes is the right move just at the moment. It's tempting for sure, I know I've been in that situation plenty of times. I get fed up with things and I verge on the "throwing the baby out with the bath water" mentality, but I try to reign myself back in. I try to avoid making too many big huge changes, especially impulsively. While they can seem like a good idea at the time, it might not be such a good idea in the medium to long term. The last thing I want to do is make a knee-jerk decision that ends up making things just as bad, if not worse. For me anyway, it's about taking calculated risks and making sensible decisions.

I would suggest perhaps telling one or two very close friends and seeing how it goes, if you feel the need to tell someone that is. I would also investigate professional help also, which probably should have been my first point!

My own situation is that I have told I think one, possibly two people but that's it, but even then, they don't know the full extent of it. I would be cautious of who I tell too, just because some people while they might care, don't have the ability to empathise with your situation and may dismiss it, even with the best of intentions.

On the recommendation of my GP, I've contacted a psychologist and I'm aiming to have my first session next week. I'm sure I will be nervous when the time comes but I'm glad I'm taking a step towards resolving the issue and getting control of my life and emotions back.

I think you've said you've had one session yourself with a counsellor and that is good and I'm sure you will start to feel better soon.

Like I say, avoid making big huge decisions right off the bat and just play it by ear and see how it goes. If you really feel the need to move out etc, that can always be done at a later date.