Very upset about c-section

LegacyUser

I've been told I have to have a c-section for a few reasons. It will be dangerous to go into labour naturally. I'm very, very upset about this, much more than I thought I would be. I'd always planned on a natural labour, without epidural if possible, and being able to hold and nurse my baby after the birth. The c-section is also before my due date, so I've also had to come to terms with a change in plans re maternity leave, time I have to myself before the birth and getting organised for hospital.
My partner is very supportive and understands how upset I am, but at the end of the day he's not the one who has to have a major abdominal operation and then try to nurse a new baby. I can't look forward to the birth any more and I'm worried about bonding with baby after the operation as baby won't be rooming in with me and I'll be groggy after drugs. I've also made the mistake of searching for c-section experiences online in the hospital where I'll be giving birth and some of the horror stories have made me even more nervous. I've never been in hospital for so much as a sprained ankle so the whole having to be in for five days and recover is alien to me.

I would love any reassurance, advice or tips.

fitzcoff

You poor thing, try not to worry about things, at the end of the day all that matters is that you will have a healthy baby in the end, it doesn't matter how he/she comes out.

I ended up with an emergency section on my first, I had been induced, nothng happened, they broke my waters, still nothing, then put me on the drip and still he refused to budge, this was going on over a few days and he ended up being a section. I had no plans on what kind of birth I wanted, all I cared was that my baby would be ok.

After the section I was able to hold him, the nurses were brilliant. He was born around half 8 at night. I think it was about 2 in the morning I was back in the room and the nurse that was on was so kind. She was doing her checks on him in the cot and I was trying to peep in,(hard to move after the epi) so she lifted him out, stripped him and gave him to me to hold and cuddle.

I planned on breast feeding but as I was so tired etc his first feed ended up being a bottle as I didn't have the energy to try hold him and make him latch on. The following morning he latched on and I breast feed for 8 months.

On number 2, it was a planned section. When I went to recovery he was handed to be to bond and it suggested that if I wanted to try feeding him to try but not to be upset if he didn't latch straight away as section babies can have a lot of mucus in their system. He latched on straight away and there were no problems. I feed the second guy for 6 months.

The first few days are hard because you are nervous of moving and hurting yourself, but remember just how small your baby will be and how light they are compared to carrying a bag of shopping. The midwifes/nurses in the hospital will be there to help you.

I am having my third in a few weeks and all going well I will breastfeed again.
hope this helps you some bit.

TwoMums2Be

I am sure as you had your heart set on a natural birth the news of needing a section is a big adjustment but what is most important is that you and your baby have a safe delivery. How your little one arrives doesn't change your special little bundle or your ability to love & care for your baby or how good a mother you will be

I see no reason due to the section why your baby will not be rooming in with you...is there another reason for this? You should also be able to hold your baby with a little assistance

The previous poster (sorry baby brain) has some wonderful positive experiences that I hope you can take some positivity from remember people are more likely to post bad experiences on the net rather than good ones so don't let them scare you!

It sounds like you could do with having a chat with a consultant, doc or midwife about how you are feeling re the section & how you feel it will impact on you bonding with your baby.

Try & look at it from a positive...you & your baby are going to have the safest delivery possible for your pregnancy resulting in a positive outcome for you both

smokingman

It is a scary prospect and my other half had one on the second pregnancy (twins). She also went googling and decided pretty quickly not to do that again as there were a lot of horror stories as you said.

When it all goes well though, you find people less likely to post about it...something to remember.

When my wife was in there, they spent about ten minutes prepping her before I was allowed in and within five minutes, she turned to the nurse and asked when they were going to start the incision. The nurse turned to her and said, "it's already done, here's your first baby!" and lifted the little fella up over the screen so she could see him. They cut the umbilical chord and after checking him out, placed him on her chest while the other fella arrived. They eventually left the two boys on her chest for a few minutes and she will never forget that moment, even though the rest is hazy with the drugs she was on.

They were wheeled away for weighing and I went with them while she was fixed up and, as a dad, I can say that the time I had with them myself (also putting them on my bare chest for a while) was something I'll always cherish.

So don't worry about bonding - you can still do it and your hubby will be grateful for it too.

The only real downside of the whole thing is not being able to drive for six weeks after and while her scar is barely visible thanks to the excellent doctor we had, she's now of the opinion that it wasn't as bad as she imagined and it was actually worth it compared to the pain she had in the natural childbirth for our first child.

I hope all goes well for you both and enjoy! Trust me, it's worth every second.

Lisha

Hi OP,
I understand your down feeling s about having a section, but try and hold onto the fact the baby will need you and love you in the exact same way. Baby will adore you and unless you tell the child baby would never know he was a section baby. In a way having a section means you will have to totally focus on you and baby and so will actually bond more as you will be a bit house bound and so will give yourself the time to simply focus on feeding baby and sleeping. THe baby did room in with me after my section I just buzzed nurses if I needed help lifting him. My sister sucessfully breastfed after both her sections. (I chose not to)

I ve copied and pasted my comments from a thread here called csection @ 38weeks. Sorrry if this seems lazy:) my tips are in bold.

Best of luck and I hope you get your head around things soon.:)

I had an emergency section nearly 5 years ago. I was in labour with my son, after an induction, I did not really dilate much. Baby went into distress and off I went for a section.
A spinal block was given into spine which numbs you from waist down.
Husband gowned up and then came in. (I did not want him there for needle part, I assume he could have been there if I ok'd it. )
He stayed totally at my head end, which was what we both wanted.
I felt nothing at all just a sensation really. The curtain blocked our view.
Then they lifted out baby and showed him to me, they just weighed him and then i HAD him. You can move your head neck arms and turn a small bit and sit up a bit. You will need someone with you as much as possible but it's amazing how quick you recover. But you have to take things slowly.
I was in Cork CUMH and was left in bed for 24hrs after birth. THe nurse helped shower me then. That was the worst. But its all better from there.

I used a tea tree shower gel from bodyshop as it is antiseptic felt it could not hurt. ( I did not get infection)
I also used arnica tablets and I really felt they helped recovery.
I did not drive for 6weeks after, again I felt it helped recovery but I think I would have been able after 4weeks to drive,. I was lucky that Nana was on hand to help.

After the section take all the pain meds they wil give you. I highly recommned the difene suppositories for the few days after.

I was so excited to be going home I did not take pain meds, big mistake, fill up again on tablets before drive home, (I had 1hr drive)

PLease be sure you and OH really know how to put car seat / base if using into car. We did not. a taxi driver helped us

Take it easy at home , take all the help you can and keep visitors to a minimum.

Post is a bit long so I ve highlighted the tips.

(If it helps to hear, my second was a horrible traumatic vagianal delivery, I was on antibiotics for 4 months after due to persistant UTIs. I dont intend going for No3 but if it happens, I know that I ll be asking for a section )

Moonbeam

The babies will still be in a cot beside your bed.
Think of the positives,less pain ! And no giving birth in an unplanned place
When I had my last I was in a semi private ward and 3 of the other ladies had had c sections.
There husbands stayed all if the time to help them and the babies were not brought away at night . You will be fine and if it is for medical reasons then it is what is best for you and baby.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies. The hospital have told me as there may be 'sensitive' cases such as women who've had a d&c on my ward they have a non rooming in policy for c section babies unless the other patients are all also post c section, so rooming in is not guaranteed. I am going to see my consultant next week and will have a list of questions, hopefully this will make me more positive towards the procedure.

January

Which hospital are you going to OP?

When I was in the Rotunda in 2008, I had a c section and was just put on a normal post natal ward after wards, mixed with women who had natural births and c sections. When I had my baby in 2011 I had a natural birth but was put on the gynaecology ward where women were experiencing miscarriages and D&C's and I still had to room in with my baby...

implausible

Hey, I just wanted to add my experience in case it might help. I ended up with an emergency c-section with my wee man. I hadn't even read the chapter about sections in my pregnancy book! I managed the whole labour (back labour too!) without a tear, but in the rush and drama, I managed to find time to start bawling when the consultant told me I'd have to have the section.

The thing that stopped me getting into a right state about it afterwards was breastfeeding. I had to wait an hour before they would bring me down to the ward, but my husband was holding him and as soon as I got down, they helped me latch him on. For 24 hours afterwards, I wasn't able to move from the bed, but the nurses were brilliant. I'd ring the bell for them to put him in the bed to be fed and they'd put him back in the cot again. Not rooming-in wasn't an option. Even though I couldn't move, at least I was able to feed my baby. I was able to get out of bed the next day and every day gets easier. I'd +1 the advice on the pain meds - those difene suppositories are magic!

As for the driving, it seems to vary between insurance companies. Mine was happy enough once I got a letter from my doc saying I was ok to drive after 3 weeks.

There's a lot to be said for knowing what's going to happen. Try not to read internet scare stories and get proper information from your hospital. Kick up a fuss about the rooming-in if needs be. I can understand your disappointment, you imagine things to be a certain way, but if you're prepared and you get your baba safe in your arms, how s/he arrived won't matter after a while.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Thanks for replies. I am attending Holles Street. I ask the midwife about the policy for elective c sections and she was the one who said skin to skin contact and nursing shortly after the birth are not always possible and rooming in would depend on the other cases in the ward on the day I have my section.
Even over the past day I've slowly been reframing my expectations about birth and have read some of the information on sections in my pregnancy books to prepare myself. I think forewarned is forearmed and I really appreciate the positive and encouraging section stories I've read here, thanks for posting them.

I am a friend

I had a c-section which was planned and it found it fantastic. There was no panic rushing to the hospital and as I was so well monitored I was not worried at any stage about the baby. I was up walking the next morning and never looked back. There was no issue bonding and there was no problem handling or lifting the baby. The only pain was not being able to drive for 6 weeks.

Sections get bad press - dunno why to be honest.

BTW, I dont understand why you are so upset about not having a natural labour... As long as the baby is well it doesnt really matter, does it?????

LegacyUser

I am a friend wrote: »

I had a c-section which was planned and it found it fantastic. There was no panic rushing to the hospital and as I was so well monitored I was not worried at any stage about the baby. I was up walking the next morning and never looked back. There was no issue bonding and there was no problem handling or lifting the baby. The only pain was not being able to drive for 6 weeks.

Sections get bad press - dunno why to be honest.

BTW, I dont understand why you are so upset about not having a natural labour... As long as the baby is well it doesnt really matter, does it?????

Hi,
Can you please advise where did you have your planned c-section?Is it easy to get?
Did you pay for it?
Thanks in advance!

LegacyUser

I'm upset because I never envisaged having a section, all the advice and antenatal information has been on natural labour, with a token bit of information on having a section. I would love to be more in control of my body, and not have to have major surgery and then be sent home not just to recover but with an infant to take care of. I'm also upset because I really want to breastfeed and I've read the skin to skin contact is important, and I want to be able to hold my baby as soon as he or she arrives.

Libby029

I think what they mean is that the baby might not necessarily be in the recovery room with you after the surgery, but once u are moved onto the maternity ward, ur baby will be with you all the time. I thought d&c cases are in the ante natal ward normally. Your husband/partner can do skin to skin contact with your baby, but don't worry a section doesn't change anything. Once it is all over and done with, the baby will be with you and going home with you. A section does have it's positives also, it is very calming and controlled compared to natural birth. I took Arnica tablets and kept my wound clean and dry and i was fully recovered in no time. Best of luck... u will be seeing your baby soon.

I am a friend

really upset wrote: »

I'ome not just to recover but with an infant to take care of. I'm also upset because I really want to breastfeed and I've read the skin to skin contact is important, and I want to be able to hold my baby as soon as he or she .

I had a section as a 40 year old first time mum and it was no bother to recover from it....

You do get skin to skin?? why cant you breastfeed???

I think we need to realise that the normal birth for most people is an ideal but it cant be guaranteed and as I said the most important thing is the baby.

ocy

I've had 2 emergency sections and breast fed both my sons successfully 1st for 6 months and 2nd for 9 months. On my first he was small and very sleepy after section and I asked for and took as much help as I could get in Holles Street, which included going back in regularly for the first month to the breastfeeding consultant. I was very determined to breast feed and it worked for me. No 3 on the way and due to 2 previous emergency sections this will be planned and I plan on breastfeeding again

implausible

Breastfeeding no problem with me either after the section, my milk wasn't delayed coming in like the books say.

LegacyUser

Thanks again. I had a meeting with consultant who put my mind at ease about a few things. I'm just going to have to go with the flow, section is booked now so I'm trying to look forward to the birth and focus on baby arriving safe and sound. I'm in good health and was very fit before pregnancy so hoping this will stand to me for recovery etc!

LegacyUser

Just thought I would update.
Section went very well. The team were excellent and the whole experience was much more positive than I'd thought it would be. I have also been able to breastfeed and had some bottle feeds to supplement this, i was also able to have the baby in the room with me for a couple of nights.