Accidently blanking people

LegacyUser

This is probably a strange one, but I have a terrible "habit" of "blanking" people accidentally, but I really don't mean it. I tend to walk around in my own little world sometimes and honestly don't see people walking towards me. It's really embarrassing as I have been told off by people I know saying their friend who I met a few times etc was upset I keep blanking them but I honestly don't see them. I suppose I'm posting now as my OH colleagues walked passed me, I was thinking of some work I was doing and rummaging in my bag, generally distracted and not paying attention, someone said something as I walked passed I turned around they were walking away, and I'm sure it was them and I must have looked like I completely looked through them on purpose. I couldn't say Hi sorry etc as I forgot their names, but how are you supposed to react when you meet them again??
I must look like that person who blanks you then is nice to your face when other people are around but I am honestly not. All my close friends actually know this, and if anyone says it they say no she actually does that to everyone, but I don't think people believe them. I have had people say to me before I blanked them and I honestly don't even remember walking passed them when they said I did, and I have actually nearly blanked my family and friends on the street except they will say my name and grab me.

I suppose my question if any is how to you deal with it. If now I actually know I rushed passed someone, do I apologise the next time I see them? I know this is minor for personal issues but I feel really bad

username123

I know someone who does this, but its a bad eyesight thing more so than a distracted thing.

I dont really see the issue tbh, if someone says 'oh you blanked such and such' you say 'i didnt see them' (for whatever reason, bad eyesight, distracted etc..).

Whats the big deal?

I think if people are upset you are 'blanking' them then its their issue not yours - why didnt one of these upset people catch your attention if it meant so much to them? Are they too insecure to say hello first?

analucija

I do it all the time. Especially when driving, because I never bother looking who is in the car coming towards me. Friends know it and are not making an issue out of it. If an acquittance mentions it I apologise but otherwise I'm really not bothered one way or the other. As long as the people who matter know it's not intentional, you are ok. Besides, I think people can mostly tell when somebody is studying a tuna can for five minutes just to avoid eye contract and when you genuinely don't see them.

MJ23

I've a friend like this, he has the concentration level of a goldfish. You'd be talking to him, and his mind is just blank, he'd take out his phone and start texting someone in the middle of a conversation. Then when he's finished texting he'd ask you to repeat what you said as he Couldnt hear you. My advice. Open your eyes, be aware of your surroundings, you're not in a dreamworld.

ongarboy

I also recommend getting your eyesight and/or hearing checked just to rule it out as a factor. My hearing isn't the best and I'm sure I've "blanked" people because I simply didn't hear them when they saluted me on a busy street/pub etc. I know for a fact that others with me on occasion have said to me "that person just said hi to you" and I'd turn around belatedly. I dread to think of all the people I may have inadvertently "blanked". I wear hearing aids now (improves but not perfects my hearing) but hopefully it has removes some unintentional faux pas I may have created!

Sometimes we are in our own little world though if we are deep in thought about something or there is something bothering us that is distracting us from what's around us currently but I think most would be in that situation occasionally.

analucija

MJ23 wrote: »

I've a friend like this, he has the concentration level of a goldfish. You'd be talking to him, and his mind is just blank, he'd take out his phone and start texting someone in the middle of a conversation. Then when he's finished texting he'd ask you to repeat what you said as he Couldnt hear you. My advice. Open your eyes, be aware of your surroundings, you're not in a dreamworld.

Your friend is just being ignorant or bored by the conversation. I never ignore people when I am talking to them. I might not see them straight away but when I do, I don't ignore them.

ziedth

I also do this all the time, I'm a thinker as I walk around and countless people have said to me "I waved at you in town the other day" and so on but I just have to say sorry and I be in my own little world and they understand.

I'm sure people who wouldn't know me as well must think I'm an awful snob but i just except it.

I guess you could try make more of an effort to try change the habit but if your anything like me it will be tough going.

Oryx

Youre not alone in this, I do this all the time, and always have. People that know me well treat it like a joke. Im also car 'blind' as in I will never spot someone I know by their car. I just seem to have a one track mind, if Im reading a book you could shout at me, and I wont hear you. Same if Im watching tv. I get it from my da.

I always explain to people I know that if I meet them and seem not to see them its not that I am being rude, I really havent seen them! It is good to work on this though, and to become more aware of your surroundings. Like anything, you have to practice.

samina

Another one here. Have been told once that someone had waved at me 3 times to get my attention and I hadn't noticed. It's just some people's way, mind working overtime.

tan11ie

I’m the very same I’ve been like this for as long as I remember lol

When I was a teenager some people used to think I was just a snob or very aloof, it wasn’t the case at all! I find my mind is always on over drive. I’m always thinking of what I should be doing, what I need to do, how to earn more money ect ect…..the list goes on and on…

Everyone who knows me well finds it funny as they know my character and that I’d never intentional ignore anyone. If I’m told such n such seen you and you walked by them then next time I see that person I make sure to tell them I’m always on another planet:D

I wouldn’t worry about it Op and really if people get offended that easily then maybe they’re not worth knowing anyhow.

Daisy M

When I am busy and rushing, usually the days I am working I am like this. My mind is on other things and I am not paying a lot of attention to what is going around me as I am thinking about what I have to do next.
I think most people are able to tell if you are off in another world or ignoring them.

I do this too. For me it's a mix of reasons: I get really absorbed in my thoughts when I'm on my own, and when I do see a face I find it pretty difficult to recognise people. One time I walked past my own mother in the local shop without recognising her.

I just tell people that I'm really sorry and let them know that I in no way meant to ignore them. There isn't much else you can do, and people can't blame you for not being on the lookout for people you know 24/7.

Big Bag of Chips

I can't imagine too many people get overly upset by you "blanking" them. And if they do, then honestly, they have little to bother them in their lives!

I know a few people like you - somedays I can be a bit like that too. I don't get too upset if I get "blanked" in town. I certainly don't spend the remainder of my day going mad and giving out to others about it! And if someone mentions to me that they waved at me and I didn't see them I say "Did you?, Janey sorry about that" But I never think people are pissed off at me if they say it - and I certainly am not put out if someone doesn't say hello to me!

I think maybe you are over thinking it. Sometimes when we are not confident in ourselves, we see everything that others say to us as a sort of attack. Mostly people aren't "having a go" when they mention something - they are just making conversation.

Unless there are other issues with you where you ignore people who sit in front of you and speak directly to you, then I don't think you need to worry about appearing snobbish. If anything you probably appear ditsy!

The Lovely Muffin

I've done this loads of times, always unintentionally. One day I was walking out of the supermarket going into the pharmacy and walked by my boyfriends dad, didn't even see him until he spoke to me.

It can be very embarrassing, I know I was mortified when I met him next (he came to my house to collect my bf's keys, but ended up staying for a few hours) and I felt awkward (my own fault).

I've since explained to them that I'm usually in my own world not really with it when I'm out and about and don't mean anything bad or offensive if they wave/speak to me and I don't wave/smile back at them, I genuinely am walking around with my eyes.

ash23

I'm always doing this. I'm a little short sighted but mainly I'm just oblivious to my surroundings. When I'm driving I never notice who is in the car coming against me or that big pink house on the side of the road.
Some people look around at things, others don't. I don't. I could be standing beside someone in a queue and not notice.

If someone says it "oh was that you I saw driving down x road" I just say "it was, don't mind me for not waving, I'm usually away with the fairies" or something like that.

mikemac1

I'm always doing this

Strolling around town on lunch, people say hello or salute me and I never even noticed

No big deal, if they bring it up I just apologize and tell the truth, I realy didn't notice

If someone realy wants to get your attention and talk to you for something it's up to them to do this


Well I'd be a useless garda, fail to notice people and situations!