Told my Mother about my Eating Disorder

LegacyUser

Ok firstly, I want to get it out there that I am NOT asking for medical advice, this is purely about a personal issue.

Basically I've been struggling with binge-eating disorder for about a year now and I never knew that such a thing existed until a few months ago when I really realised things were getting out of control. I was terrified about telling my mum (I'm 18, in 6th year, so I still live at home). Eventually I worked up the courage to tell her, I didn't use the words 'eating disorder' as such but I explained the problem, hoping that she'd offer support and advice. She told me she thought it was purely stress related emotional eating and even after I told her I was pretty sure it started before this year but she refused to accept that. My mum seemed supportive at first and said it probably wasn't worth going to see a doctor about it... but things just got worse and now a month later things are still exactly the same.

The problem is now my mum gets angry at me for having mood swings, not exercising and getting really emotional and crying a lot. We haven't been speaking for the last 2 days since she accused me of being selfish and her exact words were 'not everything is about you, we all have problems, you need to grow up and start being more pleasant'.

I'm really at a loss about what to do now

Do you think I'm being unreasonable and selfish? I'd really appreciate if people could give me some advice. I really think I need to see a doctor about this, but thats not what I need advice about. How to I convince my mum that I am trying so desperately to beat this but I need help from a professional.

At the moment I just feel so lost, miserable and on top of that I can't study properly because I'm constantly thinking about food, my weight and losing weight.

Do you think I am in the wrong? I do get quite snappy and irritable but it's only because I'm so stressed about everything and feeling so miserable in general

Thanks

edellc

Your 18 and an adult regardless of if you are in school or not, you also know you need to see a doctor and this I agree with, so now you need to figure out how to get the finance to do that

I think your best bet would be to get her to bring you to the doctor for something else anything make it up but get her to bring you and tell her you want her to come in with you, once in there go for it tell the doctor everything, the doctor will take you seriously and offer advice and where to get help and your mother will have no choice but to listen and pay for the visit of course

I think you can argue with her till the cows come home or beat yourself up or what ever else you like but its not going to help, she needs to see it from you point of view and wont do that until someone else steps in so you need to get her to the doctors with you

I'm speaking from experience when I was your age I too binge ate and then was disgusted at myself and vomited and without the support of your family its a hard one to beat, I do agree with your mother though you need to take control, exercise and start making the right food choices, once you exercise then you can eat more or less what you like and the weight comes off. it also helps with relaxing after a hard days study and brightens your mood, so do have a look for groups/clubs in your area and dont be afraid to try new things we are all crap to begin with but get better with time

peace and love op xx

LegacyUser

edellc wrote: »

I'm speaking from experience when I was your age I too binge ate and then was disgusted at myself and vomited and without the support of your family its a hard one to beat, I do agree with your mother though you need to take control, exercise and start making the right food choices, once you exercise then you can eat more or less what you like and the weight comes off. it also helps with relaxing after a hard days study and brightens your mood, so do have a look for groups/clubs in your area and dont be afraid to try new things we are all crap to begin with but get better with time

I am also speaking for experience as someone whose been hospitalised and nearly died from an eating disorder and while not wishing to sound like trying tl give out anything deemed as medial advice the above advice about taking control and making right food choices etc is bad for anyone suffering from a geniune eating disorder. There is a huge difference between someone binge eating due to stress and someone suffering from an eating disorder. You meed to speak to a porfessional OP, you are an adult so dont wait for your mother, go see your GP, explain the issue and they should if they are any way good help with regards the bill - I had the same issue being 18 but feeling trapped by family and no income, my GP was great, got me treatment, never judged me when I kept relapsing and couldn't get my life together and even took me on as a receptionist in their clinic when I needed a job. I also had a few teachers in my school who were great support. If you feel you've no one around you that you can turn to like that then try contacting bodywhys.ie they have s help line you can call.

edellc

cant log in...i get what your saying, yes exercise and making right food choices are a long way off for the OP and she is obviously not in that place just yet so i was jumping the gun....i also agree that she is an adult and does need to take control and see the gp, hopefully if she goes the gp will be okay about some form of payment plan rather than needing the 50/60 up front which isnt that much but is if you dont have it

neuro-praxis

Try contacting Marino Therapy Centre, or check in at Iceberg, their self-help website for some support. They also host live chatrooms with ED specialists that can help guide you towards recovery. Good luck.

LifesgoodwithLG

Hi there,

My proudest boast in my life.... is to say that I have overcome eating disorder ( one of those evolutionary 2 for the price of 1 jobbies ) half a life ago. I feel a lot happier and my soul is lighter now. OP well done on realising that you need help from a doctor and than also support from your family, is there anyone in your family that you can talk to ? Your mam might be struggling to accept that this is a real problem, sometimes we are in denial and potentially she's sticking her head in the sand. Don't give up, if you fall off the wagon climb back on, Get the medical and possible counselling that you need. Do you have other support groups / people you can talk to ?


From your mothers side, while she sounds harsh, she's probably really worried about you, its an extremely stressful time for everyone including her and at times people lash out and say hurtful things. The practicalities of living with someone with mental or emotional problems are tough. Mood swings aren't fun for anyone and it can wear everyone down. I used to find distracting myself by going out for a walk was good, put on some house music to feel happier or angry music if you want to walk the annoyance off one down. Everyone has problems, she has her own and now most importantly she is looking at her daugher upset troubled etc,

Keep going one step , one healty choice at a time, if I can do it than so can you. Thinking of you OP.

LegacyUser

OP, I would say that the problem here is that your mother does not want to accept that there is anything real wrong with you (not that there is, but you are having difficulties that certainly need to be addressed). I would say she is having a hard time coming to terms with this and simply wants you to be 100 percent healthy automatically.

In Ireland the whole area of mental health is so taboo but fair play to you for being able to see that there is a problem and you want to over come it, I would say you have a brilliant chance of getting better with this attitude.

I would try to convince your mother again but if she wont help you check out bodywhys.ie for free services and advice.