Do you need mediation for marriage seperation.

Gingernuts31

Hey folks,

Myself and the wife have decided to get seperated, we are already living apart since last july. I was reading up on it and was just wondering about mediation. She has already told me how we are going to do it and we both agree. Does mediation need to be done or can you mutually agree about the house and animals etc, no kids invovlved thank god.

Any advice appreciated.

Micky Dolenz

Moved from AH

Abi

Gingernuts31 wrote: »

Hey folks,

Myself and the wife have decided to get seperated, we are already living apart since last july. I was reading up on it and was just wondering about mediation. She has already told me how we are going to do it and we both agree. Does mediation need to be done or can you mutually agree about the house and animals etc, no kids invovlved thank god.

Any advice appreciated.

You and your ex can go for a separation agreement. This is a far simpler and cheaper route than a judicial separation. Get in touch with your solicitor so you can get the ball rolling.

Best of luck.

hondasam

Gingernuts31 wrote: »

Hey folks,

Myself and the wife have decided to get seperated, we are already living apart since last july. I was reading up on it and was just wondering about mediation. She has already told me how we are going to do it and we both agree. Does mediation need to be done or can you mutually agree about the house and animals etc, no kids invovlved thank god.

Any advice appreciated.

If ye can come to an agreement that ye are both happy with there should be no problems. Go to a solicitor and get everything in writing.
Out of curiosity what have ye decided about the house? is she keeping it or ye selling it and sharing any money that is made on it?

Gingernuts31

Thanks for advice Abi and Hondasam. Yes we both agree on whats happening regards everything we have together, dogs stay here with me as she can't take care of them cause of where she is living and when she had them before all the dogs did was go to the tiolet everyday inside the house :mad: to protest not having their field to run around in.

Im going to keep my life assurance going and keep her on it as benificary even after we're divorced. If I meet someone else im going to half it between ex wife and new partner/wife. Not sure how that will go down with new partner but if she doesn't like it tough .

House im staying in with dogs, tryin to get it fixed up cause of damp and little insulation in it so when thats done might try to hang onto it till house prices come back up. If there is any money left over from the sale after bank is paid off then yes we will split it.

hondasam

It appears ye have it all sorted and are both happy with the decisions. I'm not so sure how the life policy will work (for the next mrs gingernuts)but good on you for thinking about your ex wife.
It's good to see a couple who can call it quits and remain on good terms.
Best of luck.

Gingernuts31

hondasam wrote: »

It appears ye have it all sorted and are both happy with the decisions. I'm not so sure how the life policy will work (for the next mrs gingernuts)but good on you for thinking about your ex wife.
It's good to see a couple who can call it quits and remain on good terms.
Best of luck.

Thanks sam . I'll see can I get it written into the seperation agreement but i'll also calll them and see if it can be done legally. Yes we still text and get on well thank god. We don't want to screw each other over or anything like that cause we still really care for each other, even go far as to say love, 8 years is a long time to suddenly not have that person anymore but its better to let it go and move on than be miserable for life.

hondasam

Gingernuts31 wrote: »

Thanks sam . I'll see can I get it written into the seperation agreement but i'll also calll them and see if it can be done legally. Yes we still text and get on well thank god. We don't want to screw each other over or anything like that cause we still really care for each other, even go far as to say love, 8 years is a long time to suddenly not have that person anymore but its better to let it go and move on than be miserable for life.

Even with separation and divorce there were good times but people can sometimes get caught up in the negative aspect especially if their is children involved and not to mention another man/woman.
The life policy should be ok but you might change your mind over time about that. Has she you named on hers as well?

Gingernuts31

No she doesn't have 1, wouldn't give her 1 due to health issues. So if something happens to her i'll get nothing extra but mortgage will be paid off. No other man or woman involved thank god. We have been living apart since last July and we have been faithful to each other, we trust each other on that aspect of the marriage.

hondasam

Gingernuts31 wrote: »

No she doesn't have 1, wouldn't give her 1 due to health issues. So if something happens to her i'll get nothing extra but mortgage will be paid off. No other man or woman involved thank god. We have been living apart since last July and we have been faithful to each other, we trust each other on that aspect of the marriage.

I don't know about your mortgage being paid if she is not living in the house or not paying her share of the mortgage. Have this checked out with a solicitor to be on the safe side.
I think you have to inform mortgage/insurance if ye separate.

Gingernuts31

Have to tell mortgage company :eek:. Its not a biggy anyway both our names are on the deeds so unless they want to pay to have her removed I doubt they will want her off it. As for payin her share of the mortgage she never really did as it was alwasy me that was working but now she is working too but paying rent elsewhere but ashe still lodges a money to the joint account to cover the stuff that comes out incl mortgage.

When the seperation is agreed and signed i'll get onto mortgage company and let them know, I imagine it would be a weight off her shoulders if she wasn't on it anymore but never know.

hondasam

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=separation%20and%20mortgage%20advice&source=web&cd=3&ved=0CJoBEBYwAg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nca.ie%2Fnca%2Fseparation-divorce&ei=-Q21T_uBJdCxhAewztWmDg&usg=AFQjCNHyrqS6K90itpj18cD6GiRfBFzaZQ

You might get some helpful tips here.

Gingernuts31

Thanks sam but don't think any of that really applies to us. There will be snow balls in hell before I'll get a mortgage on my own, same goes for wife. I'll tell them and see what they say. We are lucky in the sense that we don't really have anything together as such. There is the beautiful superking bed with full memory foam mattress (drolling over the thoughts of it, sleep like a baby in it) we went half on but if she moves into a bigger place i'll give her the bed cause I know she loves it, I love it too but making her happy is important to me.

Fiances wise she has her money and i have mine. She helps with the household stuff or will give me money if I really need it but we don't have savings or anything else in our names except 2 prize bonds totaling 125 euro lol.