Want view from Catholic perspective ?

safarigirl

O

Benny_Cake

bexstar wrote: »

Ok to cut a long story short when i had my baby everyone in Ireland expected me to Christen my child into the Catholic church. As a non believer there was no way i was going to do this. Many pressure from hubbys family. anyway my mother in law told my hub that if we diddnt christen child she would put holy water over her head anyway!!! in the end we went for a naming ceremony in the Unitarian church who offer humanist ceremonys which do not initiate a child into the church, so it was a welcome to the world, which was lovely by the way. late on that day my hubbys father said when my baby cried, oh shes beeen Baptised now she has a right to cry!
So number 1 question, what would be the point in putting holy water over my childs head and surely do Catholic people think this is exceptable behavoir?
Number 2, Do Catholic people think children do not have a right to cry unless they have been Baptised? what a horrible think to say in my view.
anyway i am asking these questions because i am really resenting my partners family for what happened after i had my baby and losing my mum the year before just really didnt need anyone making me feel like i had to do something i wasnt happy with.
Really i do respect all religions and want to understand from thier point of view,. I would talk to them in person but hubby doesnt want me to!!

Acceptable to baptise a baby without the parents consent? Absolutely not in my book. As for the crying thing, I haven't heard that before, it sounds like an old saying of your father-in-law. Glad to hear you had a good day, the Unitarian church is a lovely building

HamletOrHecuba

Benny_Cake wrote: »

Acceptable to baptise a baby without the parents consent? Absolutely not in my book. As for the crying thing, I haven't heard that before, it sounds like an old saying of your father-in-law. Glad to hear you had a good day, the Unitarian church is a lovely building

The crying thing is outright bizzare- that said Im not so sure that it is unacceptable to Baptize a child without parental consent, if the child is in danger of death it was most certainly sinful not to Baptize the child with or without the parents consent.

LordSutch

bexstar wrote: »

Ok to cut a long story short when i had my baby everyone in Ireland expected me to Christen my child into the Catholic church. As a non believer there was no way i was going to do this.

This should have been thrashed out long before the birth. The days of compulsory baptism in the RC Church are gone, and I presume that the Uniterian baptism was a 'Christian baptism' in which case, happy days, as you now (in theory) have the free choice to bring your child up in any of the Christian denominations (or none). As regards the water over the head issue, that's what happens when the Priest/Vicar pours water over the babies head, right? or are you talking about something else? I don't get the whole crying thing either <

PS I presume that the RC Church recognises the Uniterian/Anglican baptism nowadays?

HamletOrHecuba

LordSutch wrote: »

PS I presume that the RC Church recognises the Uniterian/Anglican baptism nowadays?

The Church has always recognized Anglican Baptisms.

The Church has never and will never recognize the "Baptisms" of Unitarians.

The Church of England doesnt to my knowledge recognize them either but with the mass exodus of believers from it these days who knows?- I suspect the Church of Ireland might, but it has always been a different kettle of fish to English Anglicanism.

Benny_Cake

LordSutch wrote: »

bexstar wrote: »

Ok to cut a long story short when i had my baby everyone in Ireland expected me to Christen my child into the Catholic church. As a non believer there was no way i was going to do this.

This should have been thrashed out long before the birth. The days of compulsory baptism in the RC Church are gone, and I presume that the Uniterian baptism was a 'Christian baptism' in which case, happy days, as you now (in theory) have the free choice to bring your child up in any of the Christian denominations (or none). As regards the water over the head issue, that's what happens when the Priest/Vicar pours water over the babies head, right? or are you talking about something else? I don't get the whole crying thing either <

PS I presume that the RC Church recognises the Uniterian/Anglican baptism nowadays?

Anglican baptism - certainly. Unitarians don't have baptism as such, this was probably a naming ceremony. Indeed most Unitarians would not claim to be Christians.

safarigirl

The RC church does not reconise Unitarian or J witnesses as Christian baptisms. Although the unitarian church may accept Christian Beliefs, or accept anyone in thier church for that matter they do not believe in the holy trinity. They think jesus as a normal human not a supernatural being, by that i mean a man sent from God.
The Unitarian Churches call the service a baby welcoming/ Baptism.
If the church had accepted the naming ceremony as a Baptism i wouldnt have done it because I dont want my child learning the Catholic faith so thier with be no confusion when she starts school, she will not have a religion!
As for it being talked about way before the birth of my child it took me months to talk my partner round to my way of thinking!
Oh just to add, doctors and nurses can peform a emergancy Baptism if the child is in Danger and the parents have written on thier file they are Catholic or church of Ireland. expecting my second now just yesterday i filled out my details and stated my religion as none.

georgieporgy

You haven't said what your husband's religion is. I realise you have convinced him to do it your way with the non baptism approach (reluctantly it seems). You say you respect all religions and we presume your husband came from a catholic family. Has he abandoned this on his own or is he just trying to please you?

I guess what I'm asking is, is he really happy with this?

Generally ,from the perspective of the catholic church, baptism is performed only when one or both parents request it for their child.

safarigirl

He is Catholic, non practising and said himself the only reason for christening would be to keep his parents happy and to secure a place in school, like many irish parents who where brought up Catholic but do not go to church. I dont think either reason is a valid one. I have been told my child will be left out at school because of communion and confermation times, by teacher friends too!!!, its like being emtionaly blackmailed , I am made to feel a bad parent when all i want is the best for my child.

Doc Farrell

You have to ask yourself why you are upset as so far you have got what you wanted. We all make choices as adults that upset somebody. You have to follow your own conscience and simply live with the consequences.
If you want you child to have holy communion and confirmation then he/she will have to be baptized. It seem unfair that the nearest or best school is Catholic ( rather than non-denominational, which is what I'm inferring) but that is simply the current reality on this island. You make decisions for your child, you simply have to live with them. You can only be emotionally blackmailed if you allow yourself to be.
This might sound hard but if you think what you are doing is best for your child then you just have to toughen up and stand up for yourself.
Best of luck!

georgieporgy

bexstar wrote: »

He is Catholic, non practising and said himself the only reason for christening would be to keep his parents happy and to secure a place in school, like many irish parents who where brought up Catholic but do not go to church. I dont think either reason is a valid one. I have been told my child will be left out at school because of communion and confermation times, by teacher friends too!!!, its like being emtionaly blackmailed , I am made to feel a bad parent when all i want is the best for my child.

Its not unusual for catholic schools to have a few non catholic pupils and there should be no need for your kids to feel left out of partaking in catholic sacraments. Seeing as they will be growing up with no knowledge of such things they won't give it a second thought.
You should be warned though, it doesn't stop at First Confession, First Communion, and Confirmation. A catholic ethos pervades the whole curriculum. Your kids are going to hear things like it's wrong to steal , lie, etc and they will be encouraged to love their neighbour and treat their parents with respect.
Before you know it they will be making the sign of the cross in front of roadside shrines honouring Our Lady and saying Hail Marys and doing chores for elderly neighbours.

(unless of course they turn out like most catholic kids do these days )