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Giving space?

  • 15-05-2012 3:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This might be one for the lads..

    I want to give my boyfriend space. I do tend to ask to see him a lot, and he usually says yes but I also want to take the space for myself to take up new hobbies and stuff. I was feeling down for the last few months but I am getting better, and want to take this time to make my life more enjoyable by meeting more people, doing new things etc.

    What I'm wondering is:
    - do I tell him I'm giving him space?
    - Does giving him space mean not texting every day? We usually send each other a few texts in the evening before we go to sleep..
    - Does it work?


Comments

  • #2
    coco_lola
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭coco_lola


    You don't need to tell him you're giving him space - just do it. Go and fill your time with things you want to do, don't do it for the sake of filling your time until you think you should see him again. Time spent doing activities is time spent not communicating with him. It's as simple as that.

    What do you need it to "work" for? Are ye having problems?


  • #3
    leeroybrown
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,563 ✭✭✭leeroybrown


    Your post isn't clear really about your reasoning. For the most part it sounds like you want to re-establish some independence for both of you but there's also the impression that he might want some space. You sound like you felt you're monopolising his time but at the same time that you want the space. Either there's a problem you're not mentioning or you're seriously over-thinking this.

    If you want to re-establish some independence for yourself then go ahead and do it. Just take up that new hobby or meet up with the girls or whatever. So long as you let him know you're doing something so your schedules don't clash and you both still make time for each other I don't see any problem. He might be glad of the free time to do his own thing too.


  • #4
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    guestguest12 wrote: »
    This might be one for the lads..

    I want to give my boyfriend space. I do tend to ask to see him a lot, and he usually says yes but I also want to take the space for myself to take up new hobbies and stuff. I was feeling down for the last few months but I am getting better, and want to take this time to make my life more enjoyable by meeting more people, doing new things etc.

    What I'm wondering is:
    - do I tell him I'm giving him space?
    - Does giving him space mean not texting every day? We usually send each other a few texts in the evening before we go to sleep..
    - Does it work?

    I'm female.
    You want space but you want him to feel like you are doing it for him.
    What's wrong with meeting him once a week? is he stopping you meeting other people or doing other stuff?


  • #5
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    OP, I wouldn't tell him that you are giving him space, as he hasn't asked for it, so he may think there is something wrong.
    You are the one orchestrating this "space" so you make up the rules, if you want to keep texting him at night, do.

    I also think it's great that you are taking time to rediscover your own life, independent of your boyfriend.


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