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Comfortable too soon

  • 12-05-2012 1:53am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Been seeing my guy for 6 months and going out for the past 4. Things were amazing at the start, was really attracted to him, were going on lots of dates etc. But over the past 2 months he has started to put on weight (about a stone) and I know physical appearence is not the most important thing in the world but I am finding myself less attracted to him.

    Our sex life has also deteriorated, it feels like we are in a routine of wham bang thank you mam, lasting only 5 minutes. I have tried to spice things up with lingerie and different positions etc but I am putting in all the effort. I have tried to talk to him about it but he clams up and i dont want to hurt his feelings.

    Is it normal for the honeymoon phase to end so quickly?!


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    I wouldn't get caught up in an expectation that there is a shelf life on great sex in a relationship (honeymoon period).
    You are clearly not happy with the situation. A stone in two months is a lot of weight. How much more is he going to put on.
    Seriously consider if you want to continue. You are only a few months in. At this stage personally I would bail. Dealing with loss of attraction, incompatible sex drives, wham bam thank you mam AND someone who clams up rather than discusses maturely??? Too much hassle. That is the kind of sH*t that would be enough to handle years in with a bunch of kids. It would be a deal breaker for me at this stage.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    While some couples may not have sex three times a day years into their relationship, there is no reason to assume that great and very regular sex is only going to happen in the first blossoms of romance.

    About his weight - it's called conditional love for a reason; if you aren't happy for whatever reason and you want to give him a chance to save the relationship then you need to lay your cards on the table and let him know how you are feeling - if he still won't discuss then I think you need to decide if this is a relationship really worth pursuing.

    All the very best. :cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 308 ✭✭Johnny_BravoIII


    Hint's will not work with most blokes............
    "Hey fatty, knock the belly off or you are getting no love".


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 279 ✭✭Pa Dee


    Been seeing my guy for 6 months and going out for the past 4. Things were amazing at the start, was really attracted to him, were going on lots of dates etc. But over the past 2 months he has started to put on weight (about a stone) and I know physical appearence is not the most important thing in the world but I am finding myself less attracted to him.

    Our sex life has also deteriorated, it feels like we are in a routine of wham bang thank you mam, lasting only 5 minutes. I have tried to spice things up with lingerie and different positions etc but I am putting in all the effort. I have tried to talk to him about it but he clams up and i dont want to hurt his feelings.

    Is it normal for the honeymoon phase to end so quickly?!
    Piling on the pounds and not satisfying you sexually ? He sounds very lazy and isnt putting any effort in. Likely you are best rid of him.....consider what he will be like further down the road ?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭ihsb


    Myself and the OH have been together around the same length of time as you two. Things have majorly left the honeymoon period with ups and downs in any relationship. However, we still make an effort to be attractive to the other, both in fitness and in the bedroom. We also continue to spice things up and find new and exciting things to try.

    If it weren't for the effort we make in these ways I doubt we would have made it through any of the other stuff.

    It is way too soon to put up with this attitude from him. If he won't talk to you about it, I would say move on.


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