Falling for someone I can't have

LegacyUser

I'd really love some advice.

I'm a mid twenties single woman living in Canada. I've developed feelings for my best friend's flatmate, a Canadian guy that 1. has a girlfriend, and 2. will be moving to another city the other side of the country in less than a month. Let's call him R. I need to STOP before I get my heart broken, but how exactly DO you stop your own feelings from growing?

Here's a bit of background. I've kind of known R for about a year now, but it's only in recent weeks that we've become friends. He's quite close to my mate and so whenever I call around he's there. He joins us often for drinks, nights out, house parties etc. It's only really recently that we've started hanging out a lot at these events and we get on like a house on fire. His girlfriend is from Australia and is living in Asia at the moment, no idea what their plans are in terms of moving closer to each other as he'll be moving to another city soon to do a college course. We never talk about it/her.

We get on really well. So much to talk about, always laughing about something. He is an insufferable flirt. Lots of eye contact, physical contact, laughing, dancing together. My mate told me that she once had a conversation with R and another male flatmate (also has a gf) and they were talking about how they both flirt with girls when they're out in a PUA sort of way, to make sure they still 'have' it, they don't 'lose their game.' So I don't read too much into it, but I'm realising how I'm totally getting suckered into it. I know this makes R sound like an utter prat - he's actually a really lovely guy, so genuine, out-going, friendly, smart, sociable, he just ticks all the boxes really. He's in no way a player and I know that he would never cheat on his girlfriend, not that I'd ever be willing to be an accomplice.

I'm just falling for him. I realised this last night. We were both out at a mutual friend's birthday. A guy I scored a couple months ago was there, he had sort of been texting me and came along to see me. I should have been excited to see him, but instead I just wanted to talk to R all night. I'd be talking to this guy and couldn't stop watching R in the corner of my eye, wondering if he was watching me, wondering what he was thinking. R left early and my heart sank. I ended up kissing my guy again at the end of the night, but felt nothing. I just wanted it to be R.

This is ridiculous. I'm reading into virtually every interaction we have, and it's completely 100% futile. He adds me on facebook...I wonder why. He messages me asking me if I want to meet for a game of tennis...I wonder what it means. I catch him glancing at me...I wonder. My head is just wrecked.

I suppose technically it's only a few more weeks of this agony before he leaves, but I'm just worried that it's going to be worse then, missing him on top of fancying the as5 off him. I want to not have these feelings, I want to just enjoy this new friendship, because he really is a cool guy...but he's just so lovely. I just want him

Anyone been through the same? How do you reign in your feelings?

ems_12

Stop investing so much time in a 'taken' guy, and have the same great nights out, craic and flirting with someone that's available. The next party you're at, don't spend it with him, seek out someone you don't know that well/haven't spoken to yet and have a chat.

Lorna123

It is just infatuation and the fact that he is unavailable to you and will be gone in a few weeks time makes him even more attractive. It is a case of "what you can't have you really want". We have all been there. The fact that this guy is flirting with you doesn't help but recognize it for what it is, i.e. making himself feel good. Do not, on the pearl of your life, let this guy know how you feel because he is not interested. Let him go and then concentrate on forming a real relationship with someone who is available.

Wompa1

He's leaving in a month so just avoid him. Then no temptations and less attachment. Bada bing bada boom.