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United Christian Broadcasters.

  • 09-05-2012 4:56pm
    #1
    joseph brand
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,537 ✭✭✭


    Who the hell are these people? Their magazine, which is around 50 pages, came in my letterbox today, even though I have one of those 'No Junk Mail' stickers.

    There is some amount of sh1te inside. It is full of gospel verses, christian 'literature' and music cd's.

    Not only are they nice enough to accept monthly donations, (not for helping the poor but for spreading more junk mail through letterboxes), they even accept your Will?

    http://ucb.co.uk/legacy

    They have a FB, Twitter and Youtube account. They're on SKY, UPC and even have an App.

    I suppose they don't even pay tax, since religions are exempt?

    /looks for credit card.


Comments

  • #2
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,261 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    The first image read like something off a dating site.


  • #3
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    "He sees you not as you are, but as you will be when He gets through with you".

    Well that sounds a bit rapey, tbh.


  • #4
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    204231.png

    Well, I tried this, and nothing happened. Is Jesus mad at me? Also, how does Jesus feel about middle of the night sleepy sex?


  • #5
    Calibos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,816 ✭✭✭Calibos


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    204231.png

    Well, I tried this, and nothing happened. Is Jesus mad at me? Also, how does Jesus feel about middle of the night sleepy sex?

    You Fool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Why did you read it?? Now you are saved ya big eejit. No big rap party with Satan and all the cool people in hell for you. All you have to look forward to now is kneeling prostrated in front of god singing his praises.......for eternity.

    This is because we all now you can be a genocidal maniac and get in as long as you say those words at some point. God doesn't care if you read it but didn't mean it. Sure doesn't he let all those deathbed and foxhole conversionists in and they didn't mean it either and only said it because they were scared sh1tless. God doesn't care whats in your heart, he only cares that you read or vocalised the words.

    Even standing up in the middle of a Mass and shouting, "I deny the Holy Spirit" won't save you from the lords clutches now!!


  • #6
    Fortyniner
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 79 ✭✭Fortyniner


    Perhaps they've seen the gap in the market being left by the gradual demise of the RCC. They're good marketeers, no doubt about it.

    I punish myself every now and again by flicking through the religious channels on Sky. It's undiluted crap.

    What's happened with the giant evangelical church they were building near Dublin?


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  • #7
    Galvasean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    They should send me their literature. Toilet paper is expensive these days.


  • #8
    FullRetard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭FullRetard


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    204231.png

    Well, I tried this, and nothing happened. Is Jesus mad at me? Also, how does Jesus feel about middle of the night sleepy sex?

    You have to say it 5 times looking into a mirror dumba$$!
    :pac:


  • #9
    MrPudding
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,788 ✭✭✭MrPudding


    FullRetard wrote: »
    You have to say it 5 times looking into a mirror dumba$$!
    :pac:
    Tony Todd would make an AWESOME Jesus.

    MrP


  • #10
    joseph brand
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,537 ✭✭✭joseph brand


    Circulation has now increased to one million copies read, not only by UCB's supporters, but also by patients in hospitals, prisoners and residents of care centres throughout the UK and Ireland.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Gass

    Who says that the church always tries to get to you while you are down? :rolleyes:


  • #11
    Rev Hellfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,346 ✭✭✭Rev Hellfire


    You should collect their literature and then mail it back to their freepost address.

    http://www.ucb.co.uk/testimonies

    Its all about recycling after all.


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  • #12
    Blackhorse Slim
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Blackhorse Slim


    Sending their crap back to them might not be a good idea, they can then send the same crap to someone else.

    Maybe they'd like me to send them the rest of my junk mail? Is that what Jesus would do?


  • #13
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Why not send it back with penises scribbled all over them?


  • #14
    vibe666
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    Blackhorse Slim wrote: »
    Sending their crap back to them might not be a good idea, they can then send the same crap to someone else.

    Maybe they'd like me to send them the rest of my junk mail? Is that what Jesus would do?
    how about this?

    get a box, put their freepost address on it and then gift wrap a brick using their literature inside it (covered in permanent marker drawn penises), nestled in some more of their literature that you've already put through a shredder.

    also, leave a little note in it saying that you are building a new house and you'd like them to bless the brick and post it back to you, so you can have jesus protecting you in your new home.

    every time they put a new magazine through your letterbox, send them back a new brick to bless and see how long it takes them to stop sending stuff to you. :D


  • #15
    NecroSteve
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 165 ✭✭NecroSteve


    Haha! Brilliant, vibe!


  • #16
    The Randy Riverbeast
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭The Randy Riverbeast


    Its been a few years (apologies if I should make a new thread rather than bringing this one up again) but they appear to be back. Was handed a flyer today from this group. One the front it had the 3 reasons why you need Jesus shown above but on the back it had

    GOOGLE
    1. SHEMITAH 2015
    2. CERN
    3. JADE HELM 2015
    4. 4 BLOOD MOONS

    And then contact details for 3 people to talk about what I just read.

    I googled the events and they appear all have some sort of end of the world stuff going on. Are UCB a doomsday cult of some sort? Thought it was weird because 1 and 4 are more focused on a Jewish perspective, I know Christianity tends to pick and choose what part of the old testament are still relevant but they appear to be ideas abandoned by Christians.


  • #17
    pauldla
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,247 ✭✭✭pauldla


    The Randy Riverbeast wrote: »
    Its been a few years (apologies if I should make a new thread rather than bringing this one up again) but they appear to be back. Was handed a flyer today from this group. One the front it had the 3 reasons why you need Jesus shown above but on the back it had

    GOOGLE
    1. SHEMITAH 2015
    2. CERN
    3. JADE HELM 2015
    4. 4 BLOOD MOONS

    And then contact details for 3 people to talk about what I just read.

    I googled the events and they appear all have some sort of end of the world stuff going on. Are UCB a doomsday cult of some sort? Thought it was weird because 1 and 4 are more focused on a Jewish perspective, I know Christianity tends to pick and choose what part of the old testament are still relevant but they appear to be ideas abandoned by Christians.

    I've lost count of the number of Ends of the World I've lived through, and yet that big old globe keeps on a-spinning. Could it be that such claims lack a certain veracity?


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