Recently seperated from husband - legal options?

Fiona

Hi there

I have been seperated from my husband for the last month and I have also moved out of his house.

Can somebody tell me can I organise the deed of seperation now or do I have to wait the 4 years before I can get that?

I went to my bank to change my name back to my maiden name from my double barrel name and they would not change it for me without that document

We have no children together, no savings together, no pension together and we both own our own properties. Are there any other legal things I need to organise?

There is absolutely no chance of reconciliation and we are pretty much agreed we are walking away with no assets to 'fight over'

boardz

Hi Fiona,

I got this from the www.citizensinformation.ie Go to the site and search for separation......there's a lot more info and advice on the practicalities...


If a married couple or civil partners can agree the terms on which they will live separately, they may enter into a separation agreement. The essence of a separation agreement is that it is an agreement. Both parties must consent to the terms of the agreement.
The agreement is a legally binding contract setting out each party's rights and obligations to the other. The terms of the agreement are usually reached either through mediation or negotiation through solicitors. If agreement can be reached reasonably quickly between the parties and a separation agreement drawn up, it is cheaper and less stressful than taking a court case. Many couples formalise their separation in this way

Fiona

Thanks, stupid question but even though you have that agreement you still need to wait the 4 years yeah?

My sister got divorced 10 years ago and she said I just do nothing for 4 years but I am really not sure, I want my proper name back on my bank cards :mad:

Ken.

Fiona wrote: »

Thanks, stupid question but even though you have that agreement you still need to wait the 4 years yeah?

My sister got divorced 10 years ago and she said I just do nothing for 4 years but I am really not sure, I want my proper name back on my bank cards :mad:

You'll probably have to go the deed poll route. Taken from http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/changing_your_name_by_deed_poll.html
Rules

If you are doing the deed poll yourself, you will have to call in person to the Deed Poll Section, Central Office, the Four Courts. It is not possible to apply online for this service.
As every case involving an official name change is different, staff in Deed Poll Section will provide advice and information to you on an individual basis.

Fiona

I have just had a brain wave my passport and driving licence are still in my maiden name I could just close my bank accounts and open them up again.

Annoying but looks easier than the deed poll option.

Abi

I went to change my name via deed poll and it was a wasted journey. The woman asked me if I'd been using my maiden name which I told her I had. She then told me that I need not do anything because I had been using it it was legally my name again. I had double barrelled it, but dropped his name when we split.

I'd go with your idea if setting up a new account Fiona, I for one can't stand seeing my old name on anything, and in a way that I couldn't get rid of my past with my ex when post came with the old name on it.

Fresh start and all that

Fiona

Thanks Abi, just very frustrating when my name is double barrelled and I want to revert back to my maiden name.

Closing the accounts and opening them back up again will only put me out by giving them a utility bill and a passport and signing an application form It will cost them time and money!

James Jones

Fiona wrote: »

I have been seperated from my husband for the last month and I have also moved out of his house.Can somebody tell me can I organise the deed of seperation now or do I have to wait the 4 years before I can get that?

The 4 years is only for a divorce. See Section 5.—(1)(a) of the Family Law (Divorce) Act, 1996.

In accordance with Section 2.—(1)(f) of the Judicial Separation and Family Law Reform Act, 1989,a separation can occur on the grounds that

the marriage has broken down to the extent that the court is satisfied in all the circumstances that a normal marital relationship has not existed between the spouses for a period of at least one year immediately preceding the date of the application.

Smashhits

Sorry for hijacking your thread Fiona but I'm in a similar situation.

My question is as I took my ex's name and all documents reflect that do I need to change my name back to my maiden name by deed poll?

I have 2 children and was keeping the name the same for their benefit. I know find myself thinking more about changing back to my maiden name. Our judicial separation should be completed soon.

Thanks

hondasam

I know a few people in the same situation OP but tbh I don't see why people get so fixated on changing their name back to their maiden name. It's just a name.
When there is kids involved they will keep his name most likely.

Fiona

hondasam wrote: »

I know a few people in the same situation OP but tbh I don't see why people get so fixated on changing their name back to their maiden name. It's just a name.
When there is kids involved they will keep his name most likely.

Well sorry but my maiden name is one I am proud of and I want it back! I don't wish to keep using the double barrelled version of it.

If I had kids with him then yes it would be a different story but I don't so therefore it is pointless going by a name that does not have any significance in my life anymore.

Abi

@ Sam - its not really a fixation, its closure, if that makes sense hon.

@ Fiona - I totally understand your need to shell his part of your name, I was in the same boat as you, and have been commonly using my maiden name for a few years now. Like yourself, I was and still am proud of my family name, hence the reason why I didn't drop the name when I got married.

Smashhits wrote: »

My question is as I took my ex's name and all documents reflect that do I need to change my name back to my maiden name by deed poll?

I have 2 children and was keeping the name the same for their benefit. I know find myself thinking more about changing back to my maiden name. Our judicial separation should be completed soon.

Thanks

Just a wee heads up SH, as far as I gather you can change your own name, but you cannot change your childrens name without the fathers consent. This changes after the age of 16 (if I remember correctly), whereby the son / daughter can change their own name by deed poll.

Messy stuff.

StillWaters

Smashhits wrote: »

Sorry for hijacking your thread Fiona but I'm in a similar situation.

My question is as I took my ex's name and all documents reflect that do I need to change my name back to my maiden name by deed poll?

I have 2 children and was keeping the name the same for their benefit. I know find myself thinking more about changing back to my maiden name. Our judicial separation should be completed soon.

Thanks

No, you do not need to change your name by deed poll. Your maiden name is your birth name, and is yours for life. using your birth cert you can change your name on official documentation. You may be better to wait for your JS, as some sticklers may request that (although I have never been asked for mine).

Smashhits

@Abi Thanks for that

I don't want to change the kids names. If they want to do that later that's their choice.

@SW

That's exactly what I was thinking but hadn't discussed it with anyone. Was going to ask the solicitor but there always seem to be more important to discuss with her!!!

hondasam

Fiona wrote: »

Well sorry but my maiden name is one I am proud of and I want it back! I don't wish to keep using the double barrelled version of it.

Abi wrote: »

@ Sam - its not really a fixation, its closure, if that makes sense hon.

I understand why some people want to revert back to their maiden name. I just would not be bothering myself, the name I have now is my name and I will be keeping it.
Maybe it depends on how long you are using the married name dunno I guess everyone is different.

Abi

hondasam wrote: »

I understand why some people want to revert back to their maiden name. I just would not be bothering myself, the name I have now is my name and I will be keeping it.
Maybe it depends on how long you are using the married name dunno I guess everyone is different.

Yeah, maybe that is a factor Sam. I know my aunt still uses her married name. She wanted to have the same name as her children. She's quite old fashioned in a way, even though she's happy enough with the marriage being over since her early forties, she's now nearly sixty and still has her wedding ring on and has never had any interest in meeting anyone else. I think that she must feel retaining the name would give the children a sense of unity or something. Each to their own I guess, I just know I'd need closure and getting rid of my exes name was part of that procedure.

Fiona

I went into another branch of my bank the other day with my passport and driving licence in my maiden name and they agreed to change back all my accounts and cards to my proper name

Delighted they were very nice about the whole thing not the like other branch I went to.

Fiona

My 'ex' husband's solicitor contacted me during the week about getting a legal separation agreement in place.

My friend is a solicitor and has agreed to act for me so details have been passed on and I now await the paperwork.

His solicitor called me at 6.30pm and totally caught me off gaurd while I was having a few drinks with some friends from work. I burst into tears after the phone call. I don't know why as I have been fine about the whole thing.

I think the shock of the reality of the legal part of things kinda came up and bit me in the ass :rolleyes: Anyway kinda glad that something proper is being put in place.

Fiona

Just a quick update, got my draft separation agreement emailed to me this week from my solicitor, nothing in it I wasn't expecting. Kinda happy to have something formal in place.

Now, let the 4 year clock start ticking :rolleyes: