Hate What I Have Become

LegacyUser

Hi,

My boyfriend and I broke up around 6 months ago. I guess I didn't realise what I had until it was gone or maybe I am just looking back with rose tinted glasses, either way I am a mess. I guess the reality was that we were quite different and I had mentioned a couple of things that I was unhappy with. End result he dumped me and I did not really see it coming though I had suggested we were not suited.

He moved on really quickly. This break-up has knocked me for six and I hate the person I have become. I am completely fixated on his new girlfriend and am consumed by jealousy for her. I presumed it was a rebound thing and that it would run its course quickly but that does not seem to be the case. I think about my ex constantly and so miss him being around. The fact that he just moved on without a thought in the world hurts me so much.

I have turned into this person I don't recognise and I don't like her. I feel angry, hurt and jealous. Have jumped into several flings with unsuitable men and have often feel like I have let myself down or made a fool of myself by acting clingy and needy (am never like this)

I never really got closure with my ex and that really bothers me. I would love to move on. Have gone to counselling, kept busy- done everything you are supposed to do which works for a while and then I am back worse than ever obsessing, missing him, wishing things were different. I know I am wasting my life here but its like as if I am powerless to stop. The more I meet unsuitable guys, the more I start to think of how great my ex was. But then am not sure if I am deluding myself with this thinking?

Anyway am at my wits end - any help or advice please.

Brussels Sprout

As hard is it may seem you need to forget about your boyfriend and especially his new girlfriend and concentrate on yourself. It sounds like you have some self esteem issues. You're ending up with unsuitable guys as you think that that is what you deserve.
Now would be a good time to develop a new hobby or skill. This will take your mind off of your other pre-occupations and should also boost your self esteem. There's nothing like surprising yourself for boosting your own self confidence and building your self esteem.

usernamewits

usernamewits wrote: »

Hi,







I never really got closure with my ex and that really bothers me.

thats not true, you said yourself that you told him things you were unhappy with. you were unhappy, maybe he was too. thats all you need to know. just because he has moved on doesnt mean that ye werent happy when you were together, maybe he just realised, as you have, that it just wasnt right for ye.

you need to keep occupied, go out, have fun, keep yourself busy, you will wake up one day and realise that you havent thought about him for days, maybe weeks!

Pa Dee

usernamewits wrote: »

Hi,

My boyfriend and I broke up around 6 months ago. I guess I didn't realise what I had until it was gone or maybe I am just looking back with rose tinted glasses, either way I am a mess. I guess the reality was that we were quite different and I had mentioned a couple of things that I was unhappy with. End result he dumped me and I did not really see it coming though I had suggested we were not suited.

He moved on really quickly. This break-up has knocked me for six and I hate the person I have become. I am completely fixated on his new girlfriend and am consumed by jealousy for her. I presumed it was a rebound thing and that it would run its course quickly but that does not seem to be the case. I think about my ex constantly and so miss him being around. The fact that he just moved on without a thought in the world hurts me so much.

I have turned into this person I don't recognise and I don't like her. I feel angry, hurt and jealous. Have jumped into several flings with unsuitable men and have often feel like I have let myself down or made a fool of myself by acting clingy and needy (am never like this)

I never really got closure with my ex and that really bothers me. I would love to move on. Have gone to counselling, kept busy- done everything you are supposed to do which works for a while and then I am back worse than ever obsessing, missing him, wishing things were different. I know I am wasting my life here but its like as if I am powerless to stop. The more I meet unsuitable guys, the more I start to think of how great my ex was. But then am not sure if I am deluding myself with this thinking?

Anyway am at my wits end - any help or advice please.

A lot of your anger seems to be because your ex is not wallowing in the same misery. This is not being fair on him or yourself. It would seem that you did want to breakup as you highlighted differences that were unacceptable to you