Should I be embarrassed?

LegacyUser

Hi,

Well last night I kissed a friend who is 18.. I'm 22.

My Cousin saw us and has said some horrible things and that I should be embarrassed. He admitted that it wouldn't be wierd if I was the younger one but because im a girl and the older one im "disgusting".

We have had such a row that I really don't see us making up again. I'm so upset.

Am I really disgusting? Is it really worse for the girl to be older?
It was just a kiss but now I feel im the worst in the world.
Maybe I am wierd because I didn't see a problem with him being younger?

Siuin

Your cousin is the weird one to be fair. Their comments were completely wrong for a number of reasons;
- It's not a big age difference at ALL
- There's no logical explanation for it being acceptable for men to be interested in someone younger and not women
- He was 18, not an underage kid ffs
- (and most importantly) It's absolutely none of their business

There was nothing wrong with you kissing him. However, you may want to learn to trust your own judgement in the future and not pay so much attention to ignorant people such as your cousin.

saa

You are both adults, that you've been legal since you were both 17 and KISSING long before that so she should get over herself.

You know what would piss her off to no end, if you didn't seemed bothered about it and laugh off her comments if they crop up in the future she would be raging or raging if the next time you saw her you acted like nothing was up because its not a big deal, she will mature soon enough, if you need to talk it out because of the argument thats another thing but seriously, I mean how old is she?! really!

Procrastastudy

LOL you're both KIDS! (in the just enjoy life sense not in the anything wrong sense.)

Caution to the wind - if you're not found naked in at least one fountain by the time you're twenty-five you've nothing to be embarrassed about.

Tell your cousin Prudy McPrude where to go.

edellc

your both legal so I dont see that there is too much of a problem however my nephew is 17 and at the minute he is with a 22 years old, now I know that there is only one year in the difference between your situation and his but be warned, yes he is old enough to have sex, and he shares the gory details with me all the time which I keep telling him I dont want to know, so where as there isnt a problem legally with your situation remember boys mature slower than girls and if you are to take it future then be aware of how boys behave and what they like to brag about to their mates

judgefudge

Your cousin sounds like an immature fool! I'm 23 and I went out with a guy whos 21 for months. I know so many couples where the girl is older. Its not something anyone with an ounce of maturity cares about!

fallen01angel

Hi OP,I am shocked about your post......with your cousin response!!You did absolutely nothing wrong....it's a couple of years,not like he's a baby for God's sake.Try to have a chat with your cousin if you feel you wish to clear the air but if she is gets all judgemental and stuff again from her big high horse just walk away,the higher they are the further they have to fall imo.

missbelle

It's easier said than done, but why should you worry about what people think? You're doing absolutely wrong, and it's only kissing, you could be very well matched so go for it, have fun!
PS if it was the other way around, as your cousin said, he wouldn't have batted an eyelid!

edellc

couch_dweller wrote: »

thats a slightly odd seventeen year old who brags to his aunt about his romantic liasons :eek:

we have a very close relationship but yes it is odd I think he tells me looking for advice as such but I really dont want to know at all, and I may be his aunt but I'm not that much older than him either

Shelli2

I'm turning 30 this year, and my partner turned 25 in Feb. We had our son when he was 20 and I 25. Pregnant at 19 and 24. And yes, we got some horrible comments.....mostly from a bitter ex of mine. (Who ironically ended up marrying a woman 5 years older than him! LOL)

Anyway, we are perfectly happy. I would be quite an outgoing and admittedly immature person, where as my other half is very mature and quite a settled person. It balances perfectly.

Age doesn't matter an iota, if two people make each other happy then that's all that matters. And stuff what everyone else thinks, they are most likely just jealous!

LegacyUser

Thanks you so much for all the replies I'm feeling 100 time better after reading them.

I guess the reason I didn't think I was doing anything wrong is because it wasn't wrong.

Im not going to try and sort things out with my cousin. If he wants to sort things out with me he can say he's sorry to me. Until then I'll try not to let the things he said to me get to me

puzzle factory

no way, the rule is half your age and add 7

Distorted

Your cousin has issues...

LegacyUser

I feel for you.
did you know the guy was 18 before you kissed him? if so and u thought it wasn't an issue, then there's no reason to worry if somebody else does think it's an issue.
on the other hand, if you didn't know, well then no harm doen really is there?
i wouldn't worry about it to be honest, if this is the worse relationship dilemma you face then you'll have gotten off lightly i think! Hope this helps.

mayotom

I think your cousin is jealous and fancies the 18 year old