I'm 22, and I can't stop thinking about dying

Squashie

We’re dying everywhere. We’re dying of AIDS in Africa and South America. We’re dying in slums in India and Asia. We’re killing each other in Mexico. Children paralysed with fear are being killed on an island in Norway. People are dying on the TV, I’m being warned to get checked on the radio. Swimmers are dying suddenly in showers, footballers are falling dead on pitches. People are being tortured, raped, shot. In our neighbourhoods people are dying in car crashes, of cardiac arrest, collapsed arteries, stroke, cancer, every illness. People are dying everywhere, and I can’t stop thinking about when I’m going to die, and how. I think about it now all day every day. In work, in college and walking between, while exercising, while eating. Every moment I’m thinking about dying, thinking about how I’ll cease to exist. Gone and forgotten, just like everybody else. I expect it at every moment.

Is there something wrong with me? Am I ****ed up? – Thinking about this. Someone my age shouldn’t be thinking about dying, should they?

Or actually maybe there’s something wrong with you? – Not thinking about it. Oblivious, distracted, ignoring it

Once, some time, some place, an event happened and against all near-infinitely small odds a “life” was somehow created. Not only was it created, it was created with the ability to re-create. It did this, and so with it began a multi-millennia cascade of ever-diminishingly probable lives, evolving and becoming more complex. Until one day, two “people,” born in different parts of the world, a world of many millions, happened by chance to meet each other and stay together. An egg of a lifetime of dozens met another of a lifetime of billions... and I was created. I am here, despite my limitless incalculable improbability, near impossibility. If that string leading back to the beginning had gone any other way along the way, I wouldn’t be. I’m pretty incredible, even if I am to die tomorrow. Maybe this isn’t for anonymous personal issues after all

shanered

I've heard that growing up is coming to terms with your own death.

longhalloween

True, people are dying all the time. There's a fatal crash every few days in Ireland alone.

But that's just a part of life, something you have to accept and live with because if you spend all your time fearing death when it finally comes around it'll be a relief.

Better to live without fear of dying, enjoy every moment, better yourself and make sure that when you do eventually pass you've left your mark on the world, either through your actions or through the memories of people close to you.

christmas2012

To fear death is to not live life then again you could die in a plane crash or a car crash so good luck with living

18AD

Squashie wrote: »

Is there something wrong with me? Am I ****ed up? – Thinking about this. Someone my age shouldn’t be thinking about dying, should they?

Or actually maybe there’s something wrong with you? – Not thinking about it. Oblivious, distracted, ignoring it

It is perfectly healthy to be considering ones own death. The only problem would be if it became an infatuation, which would lead to a deterioration in quality of life.

The classic philosopher who deals with this is Heidegger. The very reason your life actually means anything is because you will one day not have it. Finitude is the reason your life has meaning in the first place. That's why death is often the most meaningful topic to think about.

Also, you can never actually experience your own death.

I don't wholly agree, but it's a fairly important contribution to thinking, I think.

There have been many threads in this forum where people consider death to be the meaning of life, or that death is more important than life, or that life is unimportant because you eventually just die.
Life and death are two sides to the same coin. You can't live without death but equally you can't have death without life. Why cling on to the death side when the life side is necessary for it to exist in the first place?

You don't first have death and then have life. Neither is more prominent than the other. The consequence is that then you end up ignoring the life part because you've given death more importance than it deserves/has.

Your first statement could equally read "We are living everywhere." It is just as true.

Black Swan

MOD COMMENT:
The starter of this thread may wish to contribute to a very similar thread that began awhile ago, namely "What is the reason for life or living?" in this forum.