Do I have a lodger probem?

fairclough

Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1
Adverts | Friends


Unreasonable lodger? Do I have a lodger problem? Need advice.
To make ends meet, I decided to get a lodger a few months ago. I have a large 3 bedroom house and for a long time people have told me to rent a room. I like my privacy but for the right person I would consider. A lady who is going through a divorce was the fourth person to reply but the only one to visit the propery, she was in full work and seemed ok, so I decided to let her be my lodger. The contract was a rolling monthly contract, just to cover myself.

First month was fine, she kept herself to herself, shared the house occasionally. and own food. I noticed that she drinks but that is ok, I do also. I cooked for her a few times as well. She sems very settled now, in fact too settled. And I am starting to feel the place is not mine anymore but hers. if I have friends, or just one friend round when she comes back from work, she will have a face like thunder, not pleased at the intrusion of my friend. At nights she will drink 2 bottles of wine at least everynight, and the empty bottles per week for the binman looks like a pubs backyard. So she is a drunk.

She moves my furniture around in the evening to watch TV even though there is seating, but will leave it when she goes to bed, so she does not ask to re-arrange my furniture, plus leaves it for me to clean up after her. She has never cleaned the house. Her room looks like a tip and it smells. She Doesn't have any or her own household items, instead uses my bathroom paper and shampoos, seems to think they are also included in the rent,

her son has visited a few times, he is 24, she is 50, and one night when drunk she said if son doesnt want to live with father after the divorce she said he can sleep in her room on the floor, so basically wants to move him in maybe in the future, thinking it is ok because is all in one room, even though the lodger contract says single occupancy. She wasn't asking me if he could stay, she was telling me. And now I think she is hitting my cat. My cat wont come in the house sometimes, and when I was stroking him, he bit me for no reason and then cowled down fast like was expecting to be hit, I only think this because she said a while ago that if the little f***er even bit her she would hit him and smack the little s**t. So I feel like I am living with someone that has taken over the rules of the house and I am invisible.

She is not a nice person either, she is a care worker and she talks really horribly of the people she cares for, saying things like 'I hope they die soon, is the best thing for them'. I am a quiet person, respectful and always help people, she is very rough person, like a neighbour from hell the way she talks to people, yet she was fine the first few weeks.

I feel like I can't invite friends round anymore because she may not approve, plus I dont want my friends to see the way she is. She even told my ex-husband once when he visited, because we are still friends, that he has 'HER' permission to visit anytime he wanted to and that 'SHE' did not mind. Well, I know he has permission, it is my house!!!! She even insulted a nice neighbour, and friend of mine, swearing at him because of the way he parked his car outside. shouting at him and calling him a 'F***ing W****er'. What can I do?

The last place she lodged at she said she was only there for a month and was asked to leave. Now I think I can see why. I desperately miss my privacy now, but desperately need the extra money. Is this what I have to put up with to get that? I feel like the house is hers, not mine. And has only been 2 months. I have tried to put more personal pictures of mine up, to try and emphasise that it is mine, and that she is only renting a room. I am clearly not cut out to deal with lodgers, and am actually a little scared of her. When I hear her walking down the stairs I actually try and move to avoid her. I Am too soft. Should lodgers make you cry yourself to sleep? What do I do? I know everyone is going to think I am really soft.

someuser905

she sounds terrible, ask her to leave
maybe get someone else to say it to her with you, be tactful

(also, maybe format your big blob of text a little)

christmas2012

before time rolls on kick her out,i think they get tenancy rights after a couple of years dont let it get to that,in the meantime put in adverts for new lodgers at least one extra lodger..do you have any witnesses to the events that are occuring?and ya like the first reply said,she does sound horrible,shes a careworker,and hopes the people she works with die soon,and a drunk that hits animals uses up your houshold items,shes more like a sponger than a lodger..

fairclough

Yes, I think I have a friend who will help me and be there with me.

Thanks, I have formatted better

testicle

She has no rights as a lodger, she's not a tenant, turf her out on her ear.

fairclough

someuser905 wrote: »

she sounds terrible, ask her to leave
maybe get someone else to say it to her with you, be tactful

(also, maybe format your big blob of text a little)

Thank you

fairclough

christmas2012 wrote: »

before time rolls on kick her out,i think they get tenancy rights after a couple of years dont let it get to that,in the meantime put in adverts for new lodgers at least one extra lodger..do you have any witnesses to the events that are occuring?and ya like the first reply said,she does sound horrible,shes a careworker,and hopes the people she works with die soon,and a drunk that hits animals uses up your houshold items,shes more like a sponger than a lodger..

Thank you, I agree, your comments give me some courage in your support, and it is all true what I said about her xx

Witnesses yes, regarding my cat, I dont have proof, but I just know, my cat wont go near her and even thinks I am going to hit him now.

Galwayguy35

fairclough wrote: »

Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1
Adverts | Friends


Unreasonable lodger? Do I have a lodger problem? Need advice.
To make ends meet, I decided to get a lodger a few months ago. I have a large 3 bedroom house and for a long time people have told me to rent a room. I like my privacy but for the right person I would consider. A lady who is going through a divorce was the fourth person to reply but the only one to visit the propery, she was in full work and seemed ok, so I decided to let her be my lodger. The contract was a rolling monthly contract, just to cover myself.

First month was fine, she kept herself to herself, shared the house occasionally. and own food. I noticed that she drinks but that is ok, I do also. I cooked for her a few times as well. She sems very settlede now, in fact too settled. And I am starting to feel the place is not mine anymore but hers. if I have friends, or just one friend round when she comes back from work, she will have a face like thunder, not pleased at the intrusion of my friend. At nights she will drink 2 bottles of wine everynight, and the empty bottles per week for the binman looks like a pubs backyard. So she is a drunk.

She moves my furniture around in the evening to watch TV even though there is seating, but will leave it when she goes to bed, so she does not ask to re-arrange my furniture, plus leaves it for me to clean up after her. She has never cleaned the house. Her room looks like a tip and it smells. She Doesn't have any or her own household items, instead uses my bathroom paper and shampoos, seems to think they are also included in the rent,

her son has visited a few times, he is 24, she is 50, and one night when drunk she said if son doesnt want to live with father after the divorce she said he can sleep in her room on the floor, so basically wants to move him in maybe in the future, thinking it is ok because is all in one room, even though the lodger contract says single occupancy. She wasn't asking me if he could stay, she was telling me. And now I think she is hitting my cat. My cat wont come in the house sometimes, and when I was stroking him, he bit me for no reason and then cowled down fast like was expecting to be hit, I only think this because she said a while ago that if the little f***er even bit her she would hit him and smack the little s**t. So I feel like I am living with someone that has taken over the rules of the house and I am invisible.

She is not a nice person either, she is a care worker and she talks really horribly of the people she cares for, saying things like 'I hope they die soon, is the best thing for them'. I am a quiet person, respectful and always help people, she is very rough person, like a neighbour from hell the way she talks to people, yet she was fine the first few weeks. I feel like I can't invite friends round anymore because she may not approve, plus I dont want my friends to see the way she is. She even insulted a neighbour of mine, swearing at him because of the way he parked his car outside. callking him a 'F***ing W****er'. What can I do?

The last place she lodged at she said she was only there for a month and was asked to leave. Now I think I can see why. I desperately miss my privacy now, but desperately need the extra money. Is this what I have to put up with to get that? I am clearly not cut out to deal with lodgers, and am actually a little scared of her. When I hear her walking down the stairs I actually try and move to avoid her. I Am too soft. Should lodgers make you cry yourself to sleep? What do I do? I know everyone is going to think I am really soft.

Life is way too short to be miserable in your own home. I also live alone but would never get a lodger in as I like my own space and after reading your post am glad I never did. Show her the door and her waster son as well if he comes around.

fairclough

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Life is way too short to be miserable in your own home. I also live alone but would never get a lodger in as I like my own space and after reading your post am glad I never did. Show her the door and her waster son as well if he comes around.

Thank you, I never thought I would have a lodger as well.

Thank you for your support, I dont feel so alone now in my thinking, is what I needed xx

djimi

She has little or no rights whatsoever, so if you dont like her living with you then ask her to leave. Its that simple. She sounds like a proper moron anyway; who on earth lodges in someones house and thinks they can act that way?

fairclough

djimi wrote: »

She has little or no rights whatsoever, so if you dont like her living with you then ask her to leave. Its that simple. She sounds like a proper moron anyway; who on earth lodges in someones house and thinks they can act that way?

yes, it is what I have been thinking. the last month I have been just shaken and stunned. I used to make excuses for her behaviour, trying to give her benefits of the doubt, but I ran out of those excuses a long time ago.

Thank you for helping me xx
is nice to know that people still care for others

ProudDUB

Agree with the others. Get rid of her.

Did you find out that she was asked to leave her former residence after a month, before she moved in or after? If you knew before hand, that should have been a warning. If you decide to go down the lodger road again, get someone who can provide a verifiable reference for them. If they can't, that is a bad sign.

It is also a good idea to set out some house rules, over and above what is in the lease. For example, set out what household items are included in the rent and what are not. Consider upping your rent to cover household items if you decide to include them in the rent. Set out strict policies on who can visit and when. Set out your policy on overnight guests or family members visiting. Make it clear that the kitchen and their room must be kept reasonably clean and tidy at all times. Make it clear that they are a guest in your home, albeit a paying one. They are not in an equal 50-50 housemate situation. Rules that apply to them (such as having guests) will not apply to you. It is amazing how thick some people can be unless they have things spelled out for them in black and white.

Lantus

divorced and drinking heavily, sounds like a terrible time in her life but that combo takes it toll on others. It's your home and you dont have to put up with it.

Give fair notice as you see fit (dont take negotiation or sob stories on extensions.)

haminka

Sorry but from your post you sound like a real push-over and she is using it big time. No sob story about hard times and divorce (could it be that her addiction was the reason for the separation?) is worth having you feeling uncomfortable in your own house and your pet abused. Kick her out asap.

doomed

Hi OP

You must get rid of her. You need to have the conversation in the morning when she is sober. Have a friend around in the evening for support.

Do not be put off either by agression or contrition. Do not fall for the "just give me time to find a new place" or "I'm sorry, I was going through a bad patch and I will change" line. It is not just your house, it is your home and this person has totally abused it.

When she is gone, consider changing the front door lock - it costs money but is worth it for the reassurance.

mags16

She sounds like a nightmare. Get rid of her as soon as possible.

Something to bear in mind for future lodgers - when I have lodgers, they have the run of the house. I try to share the space, rather than having them feel like they are in MY house. That makes for a very pleasant living environment. I suppose it's easier for me as I have had lodgers since the day I bought my house so have never lived here alone.

HammstR

I have rented three rooms in my house out for the last three years. Do not let this woman put you off I have made great friends over the years. I had one problem tenant who drank too much and was generally disrespectful to the rest of us. after 4-5 months myself and another tenant sat him down, explained to him that we were all uncomfortable with him and that he had a week to move out. He had obviously been through this a number of times and his main worry was getting his deposit back. I made sure i was there the evening he moved out and returned it to him on the door step after checking his room.