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How do you stop contacting someone

  • 04-05-2012 8:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I know this seems to be a bit of a strange question. I think I contact a male friend too much, originally once a week, now nearly 3 or4 times a week. He always replies & has given no indication that he wants to stop me contacting him.
    I've tried deleting his email address but its easy to remember & I always seem to find some reason to contact him. Any ideas on how to cut amount of contact but not lose a friend?


Comments

  • #2
    chocolatrose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 118 ✭✭chocolatrose


    Do you have feelings for him other than friendship?


  • #3
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    ...are you trying to 'define' this too much?; are you trying to rigidly set a protocol/pattern of communication with him? In the majority of cases, people don't count how man times they contact someone - communication just happens when the time is right.

    Can I suggest that you try to focus on your own life and continuing with that, as opposed to devoting too muhc of your time on him. In reality, some people remaim very close by only speaking every week (or number of weeks).

    Don't try to define a friendship. Friendships just happen. While saying this, I'd like to hear a response to chocolatrose's question...

    Take care and best wishes to you
    Kevin


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here, no don't have feelings for him. Did have a small crush on him ages ago but he has a partner & I would never cross that line. Just think I'm contacting him too much.


  • #5
    the_syco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,315 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Are you male or female?
    Do you have sexual feelings for him?

    Or is it a case of , in the past, your friends contacted you rarely and you thought that this was normal?

    Or is it a case that you're both male, there is no sexual nature in your friendship, and you're just afraid that your just contacting him too much?


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm female, my friend is male. See him as a friend now, only had a small crush on him ages ago which he knows about but happily it never bothered him. My other friends wouldn't contact me that much and I think I'm overcompensating by contacting him more. Even though he's said nothing and replies I would like to cut down on contact & need some idea's on how to do this.


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  • #7
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    ...your other friends "wouldn't" contact you?; or you won't contact them?

    If I ever feel the need to lessen contact with a person, I remove their number and e-mail address. If these things don't work, then I try to stay active/busy so that I don't permit my thoughts to wander.

    Another tactic to try is to embrace opportunities to get to know others better. Ask friends/people questions and show a genuine enthusiasm to know how they are feeling. You cannot base an entire life on just one person, as you already know.

    Take care
    Kevin


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