Should I tell her why I like her?

gaf1983

So here's the story. Home & Away, Car crash stuff, call it what you like. And fair play to you if you manage to read it all!

There's this girl I've become really good friends with over the last year, let's just call her RP, and gradually, I came to the realisation that I really fancied her. We always have a great time when we're together, and share a similar sense of humour, values, outlook on life.

Anyway, she's not from Ireland, and is due to spend only a year here, returning to her country in August. When she arrived here last summer she had been going out with a guy for 3 years, but then at Christmas time word got back to her that he had taken another girl on holidays and cheated with her. When RP found out, she broke it off with yer man, and was very upset, wondering if she was the first girl he had cheated with, if there were others during the rest of their relationship.

Anyway, since Christmas myself and RP have been hanging out quite a bit, like we'd have lots of mutual friends anyway - she'd often say to her friends when we were in company that I was great but not necessarily meaning that she fancied me. Anyway, I didn't feel it was appropriate to ask her out, with her coming so soon out of a break-up.

In the meantime she met this Irish guy and has been kissing him on and off for a while but her friends - and she herself - have told me there's nothing serious there.

We were out one weekend night and chatting about past relationships - this would have been in March - the week of the really good weather, really opening up about our skeletons in the closet, where things went wrong in the past. Anyway, I asked her if she'd like to go for something to eat that week. In the end we met up for breakfast one morning that week as she had never eaten an Irish breakfast before - it was very enjoyable, took her to quite a fancy place, but again, it was mostly just small talk at the table - suppose it couldn't really go better than that as we both had to go into work that morning.

Things carried on, she was still seeing the guy she told me didn't really mean much to her, and to be honest, this was beginning to bug me - even though we've never been going out. There was one night in particular that really upset me - we had been out together in a group all night, I had been getting on really well with her, hanging out all night but when the night finished she still went to meet him.

Anyway, at Easter we were out again, the two of us were talking together and she asked me what was wrong, as I probably seemed a bit withdrawn, and then I just told her that I really, really liked her. She acted shocked, but at the same time she said it was very nice, so we decided to set up a date for that week - this time a dinner date as opposed to a breakfast one! The evening went very well, I brought her back to her place but we left it at that.

The following Friday night we were both out together, this time we did end up kissing, and went back to her place again. It was then that the floodworks opened, she broke down in tears, told me that while she does like me and thinks we have a connection she can't commit to anyone after what her ex did to her - she doesn't feel she can trust anyone. She repeated that she doesn't have feelings for the other Irish guy on the scene. She told me that she wanted to tell me all of this the previous evening when we were on a date but couldn't as she enjoyed it so much.

So that was fine, I was happy with her honesty with me, over the moon at having kissed, but disappointed to have been stopped in my tracks cos of her feelings of mistrust thanks to some cheating ex of hers. Didn't know what to do really, I felt we'd still be friends as we had grown so close over the past while but I wanted more than that.

Anyway, the week went on. In the meantime a good friend of mine who knew what was going on texted me that Sunday night for the latest gossip. I replied more or less saying that we had kissed, she does like me and feels we have a connection but of course when I sent my reply didn’t I realise I had sent it to RP by mistake! My friend, and, thankfully, R, both saw the funny side of it!

I arranged to meet up with RP for a coffee after work on the following Wednesday. She was going to be heading out of the country that weekend to visit an old friend of hers, so I figured this would be the last time we’d meet before she’d get back the following Tuesday. We chatted for a while, mainly small talk, and I told her that one of the reasons I had been cautious/nervous about asking her out was that I was afraid of losing our great friendship. She said that she felt the same, and said that she was happy that the coffee meet-up went well – she had been expecting it to go a lot worse. She mentioned that she might be out that night, I said that I might too, but we were both 50-50 about it.

I went home, went for a run, in the meantime when I got back home I had a text from another friend of mine who said he was in town watching a match if I wanted to join him and his friend. So I went in, and when my friend’s other friend went home, I told him the story and asked for advice – my idea at the time was to play it cool, if things were meant to happen they would happen. He’d be a bit older than me, told me that that was fine, but I might regret not doing anything, not letting my true feelings be known – he said, sometimes, you just have to be bold. Be bold, but in a polite way. So with that, we went down to the place she said she might be, and sure enough, she was there with her friends. In actual fact, when she we were on our way there, she texted me to say where they were.

So we were chatting away, in a group, I said something to wind her up that didn’t go down well at all – basically she had said that one of her friends would be cooking her dinner that evening, I told RP’s friend that RP had been giving out about her food earlier that night – a stupid bit of sarcasm, when in reality RP had been singing her friend’s cooking when we were at coffee earlier, anyway, that went down like a lead balloon. Later on, I told RP that despite what I had said earlier about being happy to just be friends, in reality, I still really liked her and couldn’t stop this. While we were chatting like this my friend said that her body language looked favourable towards me but once I said that I still really liked her it was like she stopped in her tracks – it was like things would be just a lot less complicated for her if we were to remain friends like I said we would when we were at coffee that evening.

Anyway, we spent the rest of the night chatting to other people, when time to go home came I wished her a good trip that weekend – I was due to go away that weekend too, for a reunion with some old college friends – and she rather snappily said oh yeah, enjoy wherever it is you’re going. I should add that one of the often-repeated slags she’d have for me even before I’d mentioned that I liked her was that I’m always heading away for weekends – it’s true, I travel quite often, perhaps once or twice a month, but I’ve friends in many parts of the country, we’re not going out, so this shouldn’t really be a problem.

I had been asking my other friends that night for advice too – I said I wanted to buy her flowers either as a surprise before she travelled that weekend – so she’d be thinking about them/me while she was away – or else I was thinking of getting them for her return. Basically she was due to finish work at 6 on Thursday evening, before setting off for her weekend away that night. I finished work at about 5.20, but I had a meeting that evening at 6.15, so I only had a small window to get the flowers to her apartment. I got to a flower shop just before closing. I grabbed a small but nice bunch of flowers, wrote a – cheesyish – card saying, “Hi RP, I was 50-50 about going out last night but I’m 100% about you. Have a good trip, gaf1983.”. I left it outside the door of their apartment. As I went to the door, their place shares a common balcony with about 20 other apartments and there was this girl hanging around outside one of the apartments – I didn’t really take any notice of her – though RP and her flatmate had said before that there are some strange, nosy neighbours living in their block.

So that was fine, I went about my business that evening, was a little disappointed not to get any text from her whether she had liked the flowers and card either way. Anyway, I called my sister the following night and asked for her advice. She said that maybe I had been coming on too strong - but at the same time it's better to say these things than not say them and regret your silence. I decided to text RP anyway, I said "I hope I didn't upset you last night, I just wanted to be honest. Enjoy your trip."

The next day, I met up with RP's flatmate, CF, who I'd be friends with too, to ask for her advice. CF told me that she does think RP likes me, that she talks about me more when I'm not around, so her advice was to play it cool a bit. I told her what had happened the previous Friday, about the floods of tears about the ex-boyfriend, CF told me not to take any notice of it - she said that RP's a bit of a flighty attention-seeker and thrives on the attention. She said that this has been especially the case ever since her break-up, she is regularly in tears, obssessing about the break-up. Then I got some good news - I asked her if RP got the flowers - CF told me that she got home from work the previous evening before RP and there were no flowers there - we both reckon the weird neighbour took them! That was a relief anyway. CF told me that she and her friends really want me and RP to get together, we'd be a great couple she thinks, and she reiterated that the current Irish guy doesn't mean much to RP. Her advice was to play it cool for a while, make RP miss me a bit - despite how hard it is for me to do this as I am mad about her. I suggested to CF that I buy more flowers - only this time leave them INSIDE the apartment instead of OUTSIDE - she thought it was a lovely idea, perhaps not going with the playing it cool thing, but a nice gesture all the same.

So I went away for my weekend safe in the knowledge that RP hadn't completely ignored the flowers and card. Had a great weekend away with my old college friends, actually had a fleeting kiss on the dancefloor with one of the girls in the group, I suppose it was my way of playing it cool, keeping RP at the back of my mind.

That Monday night I called up to CF and RP's apartment, with a lovely, multi-coloured bouquet of flowers. I had a hardened old cynic of a taxi driver who brought me there, first of all he asked me what I had done wrong, then he said if you start like that - giving big bunches of flowers - you better be able to continue - then he said that he had been married for 38 years and it's worse he's getting at understanding his wife! That was all well and good. I called up, and myself and CF set up the bouquet in a vase on RP's bedside locker. This time I didn't leave a card. The next day, when RP returned home, I got a text from CF telling me she got the flowers and "... is a bit intrigued. She is suspicious of you! Some advice - don't call, don't do anything..."

So I didn't do anything.

The following night I was in town with some friends to see a gig a friend of mine was playing in. When that gig finished we went up to a later bar. It was packed in there, but on the other side of the bar I saw CF, RP and some of their friends - I gave CF a wave, but it was too crowded to go over just then, plus we were chatting with other people. Plus I was wondering should I play it cool for a while. Anyway, in the mean time, who arrived and joined them only the Irish guy she didn't/doesn't have feelings for apparently. I was chatting to my friends and they said you should at least just go over and say hi - so I did, I went and said hi to the group in general, and of course I got a big hug from herself and she told me a bit about her trip. In the meantime though she went and danced with the other guy and kissed him that night - to be honest I was pretty upset about this - as was CF - and I said my goodbies left for home early. Again, as we're not going out, she can do what she wants, but I wouldn't be jealous if I didn't like her. And God do I like her.

Anyway, last weekend came and I was in Dublin for a friend of mine's party - I had told her I'd be going to this the previous week when we had met for coffee. Had a great night out there, nothing untoward happened. Came back from Dublin on Saturday, we went out again. I had been in contact with one of RP's friends earlier that Saturday to let her know where we'd be going, RP's friend - and therefore RP - would most likely be going there too.

During the week I had been chatting to my housemate - who would be a bit of a ladies man - about my situation. He said what you should do is go after other girls in front of her - play on the jealousy factor. I normally wouldn't be like that at all, but felt maybe it's worth a try. So we arrived up to the club we were going to on Saturday night, and sure enough, RP and her gang were in the queue in front of us. I gave a brief hi, how's it going, before preceding to spend the start of the night chatting to loads of other girls I'd be good friends with - one of them even bought me a drink in RP's eyeshot. (Is eyeshot a word?) Anyway, before I knew it, RP came over and gave me a big hug, and we spent the rest of the night playing beer pong on the same team, had a good laugh but that was it. At the very end of the night, I asked her if she liked the flowers. She said she loved them! And they were still alive - she said she hadn't wanted to say anything to me about them just on the off-chance that they weren't from me, which is fair enough. She told me we must meet up this week to talk about the flowers. So I told her to call me about it.

In the meantime we had been texting back and forth over Sunday and Monday. She's also fairly obsessed with that Gotye song at the moment, "Somebody that I used to know" as obviously she feels that way about her ex. She posted this up on her Facebook page early on in the week. Anyway, I responded with a private message, posting her a much more uplifiting Sigur Ros number instead:

I prefer this song to "Somebody that I used to know". While I don't understand the lyrics, I think the sentiments are much nicer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfaI1k2J_9g&feature=youtube_gdata_player

She replied the next day that she really liked the song. Anyway, we arranged to meet this week - she said she'd be going out with her friends last Wednesday just gone. To be honest, I didn't want to go out on a night with her friends - I don't want to be a doormat, being available just when it suits her, especially when I have so much I want to say to her - I'd much rather meet her one to one, to tell her my true feelings about her, let her make a decision then. Especially after seeing her go off with the fella she apparently doesn't have feelings for in the same place the previous Wednesday, it certainly wasn't my idea of a fun night out. Anyway, on Tuesday when she suggested it I said maybe, that I'd let her know the next day if I could make it. On Wednesday night itself I texted her saying that I wasn't going out, didn't give a reason, just told her to enjoy her night.

I rang her yesterday evening, we had a friendly chat, and set up a provisional date/meet-up for tonight over tea or a drink. Haven't confirmed a time yet. Basically at this stage I'm tired of the games, I feel I want to tell her why I like her so much - which I haven't done so yet. I have told her that I liked her, but not the reasons why. Which brings me to my question. Apologies for the long-winded nature of this tale, and again, give yourself a pat on the back if you have read so far.

Do you think it is a good idea to meet up and list the reasons why I like her? Leave the ball in her court? There are so many reasons, and I feel I have to let them off my chest.

Idle Passerby

Hi OP, I tried to read all of your post but its very longwinded. The general gist seems to be that you fancy a girl who has made it clear she's only interested in being friends. If that is the case, Id say leave her alone, be friends but stop plaguing her.

Tiocfaidh Armani

I read it all, kudos to you for typing it! After all you've invested I would say yeah go for it and meet. You can only tell her how you feel and if it's a no then leave it be and play it cool. I feel like I know you after reading all that, I'll be slightly nervous for you!

daisybelle2008

Um I did read all of your post and IMHO you are way to intense and invested in this girl. Her room-mate described her as a flighty drama queen and clearly she has you like an obsessive headless chicken wrapped around her finger. It is hard to know what advise to give you as you are so hooked on this situation.
Really though your level of intensity and her level of indifference are not a good match. Drama, frustration and misery await you, engaging with this girl on a romantic level. I am not going to criticise her, she is who she is. But she is all over the place and will play you like a cat with a mouse because she does not feel good about herself (due to break up or whatever) and will enjoy and engage the attention from you as she tries to fill the void.

God ye are just so wrong for each other it is sad to see you subconciously banging your head against a brick wall.

Good luck, you are going to need it when you come out the other side of this.

SheFiend

Wow. what a long post!

I think you should absolutely tell her the reasons you like her. But a word of caution: keep it casual. Her friend mentioned attention seeking behaviour so if you are gushing at her then she will be happy but you won't be any closer to your goal.

The idea of making her jealous was a good one in this situation, for this type of girl, even though i don't normally condone such tactics. A fair amount of patience will be needed if you do not open up the big guns. I'd go for it. Tell her why you like her. She'll love it. When you're finished, if she hasn't responded or opened up to you in the same way, it might be good to casually finish the conversation and leave her to think about what you have said.

Miss Fluff

Good God man! :eek: She really doesn't seem interested at all and yet you seem hellbent on trying to make her change her mind. You are being far too full on, far too intense, far too intrusive and WAY overboard in asking every second person from her flatmate to mutual friends to other people what THEY think of the situation. That is all getting back to her you know, doesn't that bother you? I think she tried to let you down gently and rather than just accept that you now want to meet up with her again to tell her the reasons why you fancy her. What do you think that is going to achieve other than reaffirm the fact to her that you are cream crackers about her? I'd be giving her a wide berth for now and occupying yourself with other thoughts - you seem consumed by her to an almost unhealthy level and while I'd be sympathetic to any lovesick puppy I do think you need to have a word with yourself.

chocolatrose

It seems to me you have done everything possible to show your interest in this girl and she knows it. She's lapping it up I'd say, at your expense. Your investing your heart way too much in this girl. If her own friend can point out her attention seeking behaviour I'd take note.

Telling her why you like her as opposed to just telling her you like her which you have already shown in abundance isn't going to stop her in her tracks and make her commit to you. I mean she knew you really liked her and still proceeded to go off kissing this other guy. Doesn't sound like someone who is overly interested to me.

By all means, if you feel like getting everything off your chest is going to help you stop dwelling on her then tell her, but if she really doesn't have much of a reaction then I would say forget her as you will wreck your head. I don't think you will get the result you are hoping for though apart from boosting her ego and you feeling let down.

ash23

Ok op,
so you've told her on numerous occasions how you feel about her, you've asked her out, you've bought her flowers, you've texted her thoughful texts and sent her meaningful songs of facebook. You've gotten advice from a variety of people and spent weeks living your life based around her and what she wants and were she is.

She has gone on one date and kissed you once. She has also cried and raved about her ex to you, kissed another guy numerous times (in front of you on occasion), she's told you she doesn't want a relationship, she's arranged to meet you but in a group setting.
You don't need to tell her WHY you like her.

Seriously stop. You're being far too intense and truthfully I think she is not interested and has nearly done all she can to dissuade you from chasing her other than come right out and say it.

gaf1983

Thanks everyone, yeah just got an email back from my sister saying more or less the same thing, we're just coming from two completely different places, gonna TRY and turn my attentions elsewhere, she can come to me if she wants.

chocolatrose

Yeah the kissing this other guy in front of you would not be the action of any decent girl who was mad in to you. I don't think you would want to start out a relationship with a girl who was only so so interested in you. Would you??? If I were you I would expect a little bit more than that carry on.

Tiocfaidh Armani

Yeah think you're best of leaving it. You sound a nice, thoughtful guy. One day you'll get someone who appreciates your good nature.

_dublinlad_

I read the whole post (Patting myself on the back as I type)

Personally I think this is very clear cut and simple. It is also not what you will want to hear unfortunately.

She sees you as fantastic person, you get along really well, you make her laugh, like all the same stuff and she loves hanging out with you. Because of this she has obviously made an effort in trying to like you but she cant bring herself to that point. Such is life and love im afraid. Dont beat yourself up about this though, its a mystery of human chemisty that cant be explained.

This other guy she is kissing from time to time seems to have that spark with her, even if she dosent think much of him or has nothing in common with him the spark is obviously still there - even if for a brief time.

At the end of the day it up to you how you want to proceed. But after reeding that comprehensive overview of the situation my advice would be this; If you value her friendship and can handle not being with her romantically and see her with other guys - then remain in contact and just be friends. If you cannot meet up with her without wanting to kiss her (which seems to be the case) then break all contact. Cut her loose. You will have forgotten about her in a few months.

I really really dont think its a good idea to tell her any more of your feelings, this will do absoultely nothing for your case and you will end up looking back and thinking "oh god why did I do that". Im all for seizing the moment and going for it - but you went for it and sorry to say brother - she aint having it.

All the best.

Gyalist

Don't do it. As it is you aren't being much of a challenge to her.

You give her too much of your time, always make yourself available for her, too eager to meet, etc . She should have to work to get your attention and your time.

Why would you buy two bunches of flowers for someone who isn't committed to you? It comes off as trying to buy her affection.

My advice to you would be to cut back completely on the attention that you are lavishing on her. Keep yourself busy and unavailable and let her come to you. Don't involve her friends and flatmates in your business.

You claim to be fed up with her games but that's why it's called the 'dating game'. As it is you are no challenge and as a result there is no tension. Everything seems one-sided on your part.

chocolatrose

Can't see how people could come to the opinion that the reason she is not as interested is because he is coming on too strong. All he did was show his interest and got knocked back because she had no interest. He was being honest. Playing games to get someone's attention is immature. She either has interest or doesn't, it doesn't matter how he tries to pursue her.

And if she is the type of girl that needs someone to play that game with her before she perks up, he's well off without her.

Gyalist

Doctor Jimbob wrote: »

Most adults I know in stable relationships didn't get there by playing games. This sounds suspiciously like PUA nonsense to me. Real attraction isn't built or anything daft like that, it's just there.

Show me someone who didn't play games at the start of their relationship and I'll show you a liar. You flirt, tell a joke or two, maybe tell an interesting (usually self-serving) story about yourself, some even buy drinks! No one, except for the incredibly socially inept, approaches a stranger (physical attraction notwithstanding) and declares their undying love.

There is a dance, a mating ritual, a game that is played. If you think that basic social intelligence is in fact "PUA nonsense", we'll have to disagree on that.

chocolatrose

Gyalist wrote: »

Show me someone who didn't play games at the start of their relationship and I'll show you a liar. You flirt, tell a joke or two, maybe tell an interesting (usually self-serving) story about yourself, some even buy drinks! No one, except for the incredibly socially inept, approaches a stranger (physical attraction notwithstanding) and declares their undying love.

There is a dance, a mating ritual, a game that is played. If you think that basic social intelligence is in fact "PUA nonsense", we'll have to disagree on that.

I don't think he approached her out of nowhere and declared his undying love or did I misinterpret? He knew her for quite awhile as friends, got close to her, confided in her as she did in him and I believe he then started to develop feelings.

To be fair, she did go on a date with him and kissed him. He may have got a slight impression from this that she did indeed have some attraction for him.

dellas1979

She may not be ready for a relationship after what happened her. That would be a fair assumption I guess, as her confidence would be rocked.

She may also be ready but just see you as a friend.

But anyways, your post is in such detail, and you seem like a really focussed person. You want, you go get it. And while that is admirable, and to a degree, flattering to a lady, your are, like your post, going into too much detail with her and giving too much away. Hounding her and playing games and hounding her again is not conducive to a healthy relationship. You've told her you like her, now leave it. You are correct in saying that you need to focus your attention else where for the moment while (and if) she gets her act together.

P. Breathnach

She's leaving the country in August. It might well be, and it would be very sensible of her, that she is avoiding any serious entanglement.

missbelle

P. Breathnach wrote: »

She's leaving the country in August. It might well be, and it would be very sensible of her, that she is avoiding any serious entanglement.

I'm inclined to agree with this. She's been through a lot, and while I'm sure she values your friendship she might not think it a good idea to get involved with someone coming so close to her departure from here!

Sounds like you're really head over heels for her. It's easy for us to say, oh forget about her, and move on...but I think you've realised that this is what you need to do! (maybe writing the whole story down and reading it back can be a sort of therapy )

Best of Luck anyway!

MistyCheese

I'm glad you are now learning to tone it down. Because this paragraph really stood out to me.

gaf1983 wrote: »

Her advice was to play it cool for a while, make RP miss me a bit - despite how hard it is for me to do this as I am mad about her. I suggested to CF that I buy more flowers - only this time leave them INSIDE the apartment instead of OUTSIDE - she thought it was a lovely idea, perhaps not going with the playing it cool thing, but a nice gesture all the same.

When her friend tells you to play it cool for a while and your reaction is "I know, I'll buy more flowers. And put them inside this time!" you are pretty much doing the opposite.

It seems that most people you have talked to have offered the same advice. There's no point in badgering someone into a relationship, things will only work if both people involved want it to. And sometimes not even then.

gaf1983

Thanks a million for all the advice everyone, and also, please give yourselves big pats on the back if you did manage to read the opening post til the end! As somebody commented, maybe writing it down was just a therapeutic process!

Anyway, I didn't meet up with her in the end on Friday - she texted me to say she could meet for a while but wasn't feeling too well and had work on Saturday so I just told her to stay in and take things easy if she was feeling under the weather.

Met her at a party on Saturday that I didn't know she'd be at - while I by no means ignored her - we chatted briefly - I certainly wasn't all over her, hard enough as this was. Also, later that night I saw the other fella she was seeing kissing some other girl, so don't think there's much to be getting worried about there.

Met her out again on Sunday night and got on like a house on fire. So yeah, perhaps toning it down is the way to go. I certainly don't think that cutting off contact completely would be feasible - we have a lot of mutual friends - neither would I want to cut off contact either, we get on very well anyway and I genuinely wouldn't want to lose that friendship.

Was chatting to my older sister at the weekend about it, she reckons RP's ex-boyfriend of three years was her first love and it's going to take a while - a long while - for her to get over that. She'll need time. My sister said that while she was getting over her first major break-up she would have met good guys too, but just wasn't in the right place at all to starta relationship. In fairness, this is what RP told me herself. So perhaps I should have listened the first time and toned things down from then - but at the same time I had it in the back of my mind that she's due to leave the country in August (although she has also said to me that she'd stay here if she has a reason to stay...) made me rush things a small bit.

So yeah, gonna keep things toned down, while I suppose girls might like to be pursued, this doesn't mean they want to be badgered either. If anything else happens, it happens, but I'm gonna leave things at that.

Thanks again for all the advice.

gaf1983

Just a quick update if anyone was curious - we've remained great friends, getting on so well, sharing a lot with each other, even sharing the odd falling out, but nothing more than that, she's leaving for home within a month and she has told me that she really likes me but the only reason she wouldn't allow herself get closer is because she knew she was leaving, that her time here had an expiration date, she felt our separation would be too difficult, especially because we had become such good friends before any of the dating.

I've done my bit to keep my distance too, keeping myself busy, but we do really enjoy each other's company, so there's been no point in cutting each other off while she's still around - neither of us want that.

It's a small bit heartbreaking, but we have been totally honest with each other throughout this whole time and will enjoy our remaining time together. I would follow her out to her home country in a heartbeat, but I know this would put incredible pressure on her - she also says she has unresolved issues to deal with her ex-boyfriend, who she hasn't met since she broke up with him - I can't see any chance of them realistically getting back together.

Thanks again for the advice in previous posts.

Tiocfaidh Armani

God bless ya, hope everything works out for ya.

Amazotheamazing

Are you an Ardscoil guy? As an alumni I think we all go through this sort of nonsense.

I've read your posts on the forum over the past few years and you seem like a decent guy, yourself and herself have just met at the wrong point in time. Move and focus on someone new I'm afraid.

Fentdog84

Im sorry it hasnt worked out but if you can still be friends, thats cool. I think there were just too many things out of your control from her leaving the country, her recent break and her fling with the other guy.. I dont think theres much more you could have done. To be brutally honest, if she liked you enough in that way, it probably would have happened. Anyway, you should just move on, sounds like you have enough invested there, plenty more fish in the sea GL

gaf1983

Amazotheamazing wrote: »

Are you an Ardscoil guy?

I certainly am!