Trouble expressing myself

LegacyUser

This is something I've really noticed lately. I have so much trouble expressing myself.

My friends have often commented that I'm quiet and mysterious and they don't know what I'm thinking. This has never really hindered me so far, I've had successful relationships and have many friends. The area I'm really noticing that it's getting me down now is in my career.

I recently got a job in academia. I work hard and I keep on top of new research papers and conferences, but whenever somebody begins a discussion with me I find it almost impossible to verbalize what I know. It comes out all jumbled up and to be honest I sound really thick. Even my friends sometimes seem to wonder how I'm so high up in my field - because I don't come across like I know anything.

This only happens when I'm talking about my area, I could write about it all day. I've been told I have good presentation skills but that's only when I've learned what I'm going to say. When it comes to being questioned about my work its right back to stumbly awkwardness.

Its ended up with me dreading any meetings with supervisors or discussions. I know the information I just get tongue tied...

I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done to help my problem but if anyone has any words of encouragement I'd appreciate them...

P. Breathnach

I don't read it as a public speaking problem.

OP, I believe that if you can write well (and I am interpreting what you say as meaning that you write without undue difficulty) then it is in you to speak well.

One possibility is that you don't give yourself enough time before opening your mouth. You might feel that an academic or intellectual conversation should have the same cadence as social chat about, say, your holiday plans. I can think of people who I consider to be sages. Many of them pause for thought before they speak. It does not create a bad impression; if anything, it can add an air of authority to their utterances.

Once you start feeling that you are bad at speaking impromptu, that feeling can be an impediment to improving your skills. You can take some pressure off yourself by being frank about your difficulty. If somebody asks you a question, preface your response with a slightly self-deprecating remark such as that you would be more comfortable answering it by writing a short paper, but that you will do your best to give the gist of the paper you would write; that amounts to taking a licence to give a loosely-structured response.

gud4u

Over thinking what you want to say and thinking about stumblimg over your words will only make it worse.

I have word retrieval problems and often pronounce words backwards or in the wrong sequence in a sentence. Loosing track of what i'm saying is the bain of my life. (It's amazing how liitle people follow a conversation when you say...''what was I saying'')
I am intelligent but by no means as academic as you. People have gotten used to me and fill in the gaps or prompt me along if they know the information in my head is struggling to get to my mouth.

It's confidence, you just tell whoever you're talking to that you've so much information in your brain there's a traffic jam in your mouth trying to verbalise it.
Small notes as visual ques help me if I'm talking to the boss. My job isn't even hard and I do it:) I'm sure your bosses etc know exactly how valuable a resource you are and how well you do your job and research, they're not going to hold it against you if you stunble over a few words, if they do, tell them they need to research the downside of being so brainy:p

chocolatrose

If you don't mind me asking, do you find yourself physically anxious before or during such situations where there will be a discussion or your opinion will be asked of???

I know you say you have a feeling of dread beforehand but is it more in your mind that you don't look forward to it or does it start to manifest physically???

LegacyUser

lalalalala2345 wrote: »

This is something I've really noticed lately. I have so much trouble expressing myself.

My friends have often commented that I'm quiet and mysterious and they don't know what I'm thinking. This has never really hindered me so far, I've had successful relationships and have many friends. The area I'm really noticing that it's getting me down now is in my career.

I recently got a job in academia. I work hard and I keep on top of new research papers and conferences, but whenever somebody begins a discussion with me I find it almost impossible to verbalize what I know. It comes out all jumbled up and to be honest I sound really thick. Even my friends sometimes seem to wonder how I'm so high up in my field - because I don't come across like I know anything.

This only happens when I'm talking about my area, I could write about it all day. I've been told I have good presentation skills but that's only when I've learned what I'm going to say. When it comes to being questioned about my work its right back to stumbly awkwardness.

Its ended up with me dreading any meetings with supervisors or discussions. I know the information I just get tongue tied...

I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done to help my problem but if anyone has any words of encouragement I'd appreciate them...

Hey, I'm in exactly the same boat and suffer from the same sort of social phobia - if it can described as such. I'm completing a PhD: conference papers are a nightmare, I fear the dreaded question session more than anything. My seminars are usually fine, though I have my moments, the students are quite forgiving and probably think (I like to tell myself) that I'm a little eccentric. But I do worry that I'm perceived as a bit of a dolt when I have a tongue-freeze. It happens more often than not, I've found, when in the company of people I'd like most to impress... like interview panels, or colleagues, so I tend to keep my contributions concise and to the point. I'm afraid I can't offer any advice beyond this: I've noticed that the seminars are a great opportunity to practise thinking on your feet, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Certainly, interviews with my PhD supervisor were always easier if I scheduled them after a class when I've had the chance to loosen my tongue. The whole PhD process can be very isolating too, it's important that you spend get out of the office/study and see people.

There are any plenty of loquacious academics out there, and of course, we'd all like to emulate them, but it's not a competition. And for every charming, cultivated Brian Cox there are a hundred verbose boors, you know the loathsome type who are just waiting to have there say and dominate the entire question time with a 45 minute monologue.

Chin up, I'd rather have coffee with you.