2 years of bad luck, is it just me?

LegacyUser

Hello there, I'm a bit down in the dumps so I thought I'd come here for some advice .

Let me start off by saying I don't complain very much, I appreciate everything I have and I realise my problems are tiny compared to others and I'm thankful for that but I'd just like to hear some words of advice and help, thanks a million.

I'm generally a very optimistic person, and people who know me always tell me I'm great craic and up for a laugh, I never let anything get the better of me but lately I've really been feeling the toll of the last two years.

You see I'm currently finishing up in my first year of college, in what is really a course I don't like very much. It wasn't my first choice, but how I ended up in my situation will require me to delve back a couple of years first.

When I was in fourth year of school I decided medicine was for me, I wanted to become a doctor. Now I'm not the sharpest tool in the box, but I am a diligent worker and for more or less 12-18 months I isolated myself trying to matriculate so I could follow my dreams! I was never the most popular kid in school but I wasn't unknown either, just a nice balance with good friends. I suppose it was leaving cert really, when I started to drift away from the great friends I had, I became fairly depressed in leaving cert because I felt so isolated, but my friends were still always there, I just never made a conscious effort to try and interact with them.
Now as time passed and these people made new friendships my social life became fairly stagnant, but I always looked at the light at the end of the tunnel and how medicine would be the end product.
However my lc results, while fairly good, were not good enough, and I guess that set me back for a while because all my hard work had come to nothing.

As I ventured into college, I did need a rest. However I still wanted to be a doctor more than anything. I decided to repeat the hpat this year, hoping that again my hard work would pay off. Long story short, it didn't and after more-or-less abandoning my first year in college to study in isolation again, I feel very alone. It feels as though there has been a raincloud above me for the last couple of years. I have no "real" friends anymore. Naturally people have moved on and met new people. I've met plenty of people in the year who I know I get on great with, but I've missed so many nights out and so much fun that I'm never really invited anywhere.

I haven't really got anything going for me at the moment. When I think of people I know, everyone has their positives going for them, but at the moment I have very few. I spent much of first year sleeping and just laying in bed, mainly because I didn't want to get up! I knew evertime I'd get into college, I'd be following groups of "friends" around, because I never really fit in with anyone there, mainly because I never really was there...

I guess I just feel a little isolated and sad. Really wanted to get that off my chest, because I just feel like nothing is going in my favor, and it's hard for me to say this because I'm fairly optimistic but this has been going on for two years. I just want a normal life again

The only positive thing I've drawn from this ordeal over the last couple of years is to include everyone in evrything and to never put anyone down. The people I know would never ever suspect me of feeling like this, because I'm usually a very upbeat and laid back person.

I guess you never really know what lies behind a smile, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading this if you did, because most of the time I know I wouldn't.

Idle Passerby

Hi OP, sorry to hear your feeling so down. I take it from your post your in second year of college now? If that's the case Id imagine you still have a good few years to go to realise your dream of becoming a doctor. Is that still your goal?

It seems like you consciously decided to forego a social life in favour of getting good grades. Maybe you should be easier on yourself. No matter how important your grades are to you, you need to relax and enjoy life too or your mental health will suffer, and that's not going to do your grades any good either.

How about making more of a concious effort to meet up with some people you know, try to become more involved in instigating social events or take up some sports or hobbies.

Johnny_BravoIII

Sorry to hear you didn't get to fulfill the dream of becoming a doctor.
You gave your dream a shot & it didn't work out.
Sin é, No regrets. It happens.

Consider people who dream of being professional singer's, actors, sportsperson............etc when you set the bar extremely high, there is always a chance of disappointment.

The main thing is you have the guts to try. Fail, & try again.

Career-wise:
What were the reasons for wanting to become a doctor?
Desire to help people, fasination with human biology, job-status, financial rewards...........etc etc

There has to be a medical-related career which would give you the same sense of job satisfaction? Physiotherapy, nursing, nutrition, sporting performance, etc etc

In terms of how you feel personally, you are locked into a downward cycle which has spiralled out of control...........you feel demotivated & tired, which leaves you inclined to stay in bed, which leaves you demotivated & tired....

Mind, body, & soul.............all aspects of life need work and maintenance. If you neglect any key areas, there are consequences.

Physically - nutrition & excercise.Hugely important re motivation.
Socially - friends require contact & maintenance.
If you are feeling isolated then force yourself to join clubs & societys which may interest you.

Recovering from where you are emotionally & mentally will require serious dedication & hardwork. It may possibly be the hardest thing you ever do. But if you figure it out, it will be the key to a life of personal happiness.

Personally, I find that I can slip towards bad habits in different areas of my life.
If I don't address them, overtime the consequences can be detrimental.

LegacyUser

OP here again, thanks very much for your replies Idle Passerby and Johnny_BravoIII.

Career wise I want to become a doctor, to be basically at the forefront of helping people, clinically. I just can't see myself in any other sort of medical-related career to be frank. I enjoy biology and its variety and depth as a subject, so I feel it's a career which suits me. Money is not a factor in any shape or form.

Your thoughts on the downward spiral is true now that I think of it, I guess I just didn't want to admit. In sport I've been an over-achiever my whole life, I was the guy who was always picked first in matches with friends and that kind of thing, but I've completely neglected that for the last few years, that's somewhere I can look at.

I know I have it in me to beat this slump but everyday seems to bring a new challenge.

Anyway thanks a million for both of the replies they have helped me assess myself greatly and will help me overcome this, thanks.

Stavro Mueller

You poor thing. I've had friends who set their hearts on certain college courses and careers and didn't get them. So I can empathize. It's devastating to have your dreams dashed. Just because you probably aren't going to become a doctor does not mean that you can't go on to have a fulfilling career in something else. You sound like you busted yourself trying to get those grades and to pass the hpat so I hope you've got no regrets on that. You gave it your very best shot. Without sounding defeatist here, perhaps medicine would've been have been a step too far for you and you'd have had several miserable years in college struggling to keep up. Do you reckon that if you had gotten into medicine, that your life would have continued to be pure slogging and forsaking a social life in order to keep up?

Regarding what to do now, do you intend to stay on the course you're in now or start anew with something else that might suit you better? Have you had a chat with your parents or a career guidance counsellor? Because money isn't a problem in your case, you've got far more options available to you than other people

I'm not going to rehash what Johnny Bravo said but it's all good advice. It's not too late for you to revive old friendships or to make new ones. Your old friends may have moved on and made new friends but they could still be your friends. College life shouldn't be all study and no play at all. If you make a better effort to talk to people and get involved in things, you should have no trouble making friends.

nyarlothothep

Could you try doing the exam again? If you really, and I mean really want this, you can do medicine abroad where the requirements for entry aren't as high, I think Hungary offers an internationally renowned course. Or you could just be grim faced determined and keep at it in Ireland until you break down that wall and get what you want out of life. I wouldn't knock yourself either about intelligence, some people don't test well but are very capable and ingenuitive. Although you should ask yourself "do I really want to be a doctor? Do I feel good when I study medicine, biology/do I look forward to the work and feel uplifted about it? or am I just convincing myself that this is what I have to or ought to do because of external reasons?"

Miss Fluff

If at first you don't succeed then try and try again. I think you should absolutely keep your eye on the prize of becoming a doctor simply because it is a vocation for you rather than doing it simply because you have the points which is often the case with a lot of young (and unsuitable) people going into medicine nowadays. If I were you I'd apply to the UK, some of the best medical schools in the world are there and it sounds like you would have no problem being accepted if you got relatively high points. If you really want to become a doctor then you shouldn't give up!

LegacyUser

Hello there OP here again. Thanks again for the helpful replies everyone.

In relation to your question cymbaline, I guess I'll never know what my life would have been like in undergraduate medicine. I appreciate what you're saying, don't worry it doesn't sound defeatist at all! The thing is, I'm relatively good with science subjects, and biology is my favourite one, it was my highest mark in the leaving cert and I just find it enjoyable to study. I've looked at all areas encompassing biology and medicine is the one that suits me! I'm sure my life would have been hard certain times studying it, but then again there would have been a real light at the end of the tunnel if you get me? And I don't want to sound like some recluse here! I'm a very outgoing person, but I've really cut that back to try and get medicine.

I've looked at other courses, and different places but I think I want to go down the road of graduate entry medicine at this stage, and I'm hoping I can pull a 2:1 or 1:1 out of the course I'm in and then hopefully bag a few interviews in England, Scotland, Wales or NI.

Thanks for the reply nyarlothothep I have thought of sitting it again but I think I would crack if I did! I've paid my dues at this stage and it didn't work out so I'll try another direction maybe UCAS or indeed international studies! I guess you're right there aswell, I've asked myself and I do want to be a doctor to be at the frontline of helping people really! But if another job came up that I thought looked more interesting I'd have no problem taking it! I could easily change my mind in a few years.

Thanks Miss Fluff, I will keep trying that's for certain but I think I'm going to take a long break from working first and try and get my life back together.