awkwardness..

LegacyUser

Hello..
I'm just wondering do many others have this same issue as me....I tend to feel awkward around a lot of people. I am not sure why. It can be with a complete stranger, to somebody I know, to somebody I don't like... I don't like feeling this way. It's going on for so long now and I'm just over it. I think it's one in every 4 people I meet it happens...(mainly those that I know..)
I just want to know can others relate? Or how do I overcome this? Tks in advance...

Torakx

Do you remember what might set it off?
Like alot of eye contact?
Being overly self conscious with people who dont or do talk alot?

I have similar issues but i mostly know where mine come from.

edellc

Yeah I know where your coming from, I can be absolutely fine with strangers but with some people I know I find it awkward

Basically I think that with a stranger they dont know you at all so you can be who ever you want to be, with close family I am fine too as they know me, its the people that I know but dont know (if you know what I mean ) that I feel uncomfortable with.

I think it just comes down to the fact that I don't know them all that well so conversation is hard also I don't like being in really close proximity to someone or prolonged periods of eye contact...its weird

Procrastastudy

It can be becuase you are very good at picking up on body language etc. OR becuase your not! Just try and chill out and relax - its good to remind yourself that it doesn't matter what other people think.

Try and relax - I find a few drinks help but thats not the solution for everyone!

For me personaly its physical touch and people in close quarters - I hate it! Hugging really pisses me off and dont get me started on the "muah muah" kissy people!

Lionel Messy

There is counselling available for that. CBT i think but i'm no expert so get in touch with someone who is and just tell yourself "i'm doing nothing wrong, i just have a problem but it can and will be fixed"

Procrastastudy

Okay the acronym CBT means something very different to me, although I'd definately need couciling after it!

What is CBT please?

Miss Fluff

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

Torakx

Cognitive behavioral therapy.

Procrastastudy

Thank you I'll avoid links to what I thought it meant!

LegacyUser

I think it is triggered from dreading people I know asking personal q's that I don't want to answer. I feel caught. I
I don't ever seem to think to ask q's, I freeze, it doesn't come naturally to me, I let them do the prying, which I don't like, but yet I know for some it's just convo.
It is also uncomfortable intense eye contact which unfortunately I believe I have too, and I think it's contagious as I see some people picking up on the uncomfortableness...

Procrastastudy

There's nothing wrong with saying something along the lines of "Oh hahaha I'm pretty dull - I work as .... - I'm much more interested in hearing about you - insert pre-practised questions"

To be honest most people want to talk about themselves anyway and women will find you mysterious which is always good for inserting other things later... like may I buy you a drink.

Some of the pre-practise questions can give something away about yourself if you like - good way to keep people interested. "I saw recently on the news that... I wondered what you thought... my personal opinion is...." Obviously you want to keep this in context and aim it at your audience.