How do i stop seeing my friends wife

LegacyUser

Okay about two years ago i started seeing my friends wife . we dont meet regularly . But when we do we know we love eachother....i mean LOVE as in ache when we are apart txt morning and night. i Love this woman Not because we have sex or anything sometimes we just sit and snuggle up and talk ......Do i stop / How do i stop seeing a woman i love..... i feel guilty and i have tried to end it , not because i want to but because of her family, Yes and my Mate. But either i give in or she begs me to come back . and i mean begs .She does love me ....... Yes im married too (i dont do Grammer)

xzanti

You both need to make a decision.. It doesn't sounds like either of you are willing to call time on it and go back to playing happy families..

The harsh reality is that people are going to be hurt by this.. Are there children involved? If so, then your main responsibility is to them, on both sides.. They have to come first, before your feelings for each other..

If it were me, I would call time on both relationships.. take a serious amount of 'time out' to find out what you really want.. Put your House in order, so to speak.. finalize your marriage and all the loose ends.. get yourself a place to live so you can have joint custody of those (if any) children.

IF after a 'cooling off' period, you're still pining for this other woman.. then I would say go for it.

That's my 2 cents.

I am a friend

Why have you not left your respective partners if you love each other they much?? I really don't know how you can do it to your 'friend' and your wife. Pure selfishness I think.

blatantrereg

Your relationships with your spouses have been undermined to the point where they are now no more than fiction.

It is pretty likely that the shared secrets and sneaking around is a lot of the appeal you and the woman feel for each other too, so I would guess things there will fade out pretty quick if you do split with your spouses.

Who knows though. One way or another, admit what you've been up to and get divorced/separated.

It all sounds like a silly nasty game to me. Being 'naughty', enjoying the feeling of doing something wrong or it being forbidden. Honestly it seems here like you are looking to fuel that sort of gameplaying than to get advice.

Herrick

Everything else aside, I cannot begin to fathom how you could trust each other if you got together. Seeing as you both had no qualms about cheating on your spouses.

LegacyUser

As your wife didn't even get a direct mention in your post.
You don't think of her and she appears not to count.
I think you need to seperate from her immediately.

You can see what happens after, i suspect it won't be as snuggly as it currently is!

Sleepy

How do you do it?

You accept responsibility for your own actions and, make the choice not to see her any more. I'd second the calls that you should come clean to your wife and let her have her say on whether your marriage is worth trying to save or not.

Medicine333

'All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.'

Good quote from Shakespeare and one which I feel is apt in this situation.

You claim that you are in love with your 'friend's' wife, yet both you and her are still betraying your respective spouses and doing nothing about the situation.

Don't mistake excitement and lust for love.

Do your wife a favour and tell her, so she can find a man who actually deserves her.

Oryx

The love you feel is a fiction. By that I dont mean you dont feel strong feelings. Of course you do. But they are the heightened, secret feelings of an artificial situation. You meet up and snuggle and its 'you and me against the world' in a little bubble where nothing real gets in.

As has been mentioned, how do you think you would feel about this lady if your affair suddenly became known? Think about that realistically. I dont know what your own situation is, but your mate, her husband, suddenly finds out, perhaps your partner (if there is one) does too. Your friends know, and judgement is all around you. Imagine how that would feel. Still as snuggly? Still as loving?

If you want this woman, make it real. Face the issues that this affair avoids, and go public. If however you realise you cant do that then for once and for all end it, cut her off, and live through the pain of missing her till it fades. Two difficult choices, but the easy one is to continue on your deluded path till one of the choices becomes inevitable anyway.

dublingaa

I cant explain to you the devastation you are and will cause to your family and your so called 'friend', this situation is inevitably going to end in tears. All I can say is I hope what you get whats coming to you, you should leave your wife and let her be with someone who deserves her.

And I hope for your familys sake there are no children involved