Content with Relationship

LegacyUser

Hi,

Probably a question for the guys. But when does one reach that stage where they are content in a relationship? i.e. not going out chatting up other women or seeking their attention?

I'm in a relationship but whenever I'm out I want to chat to women and flirt. I know some guys who have no interest in such and seem content in their relationships without having to go out and flirt with others.

I'm not sure if I am seeking an ego boost or just some fun but it is annoying me that I cannot seem to be content with what I have.

Miss Fluff

You're probably not with the right person if you feel compelled to go out and chat up other women tbh :rolleyes:

relationshipidiot

relationshipidiot wrote: »

But when does one reach that stage where they are content in a relationship?

There's nothing wrong with a bit of a flirt, or enjoying attention.

But you've said you're not content in your relationship, and it seems that what you're looking for is a bit past the line of harmless flirting. Maybe it's your relationship, maybe it's just you, but if you're not content in your relationship then there isn't going to be a stage where it all just melts away and you're suddenly a different person. Why are you continuing in your current relationship if you want to continue to look for something else?

leggo

Miss Fluff wrote: »

You're probably not with the right person if you feel compelled to go out and chat up other women tbh :rolleyes:

Pretty much, though maybe without the :rolleyes:.

It could also be that you're with a person you like, but the fact you want other people's attention is your brain's way of telling you you're not emotionally ready for a relationship right now.

SunnyDub1

Hi op,

I don't understand ... Why feel the need to flirt and chat to other woman when you are in a relationship ?
What's is this going to achieve ?

Reading the menu is ok but you can't taste anything or order anything when you have dinner at home.... if you get me.

IMO you want the best of both worlds.. Be in a relationship and also chat and flirt with other woman. Not cool

You really need to consider your relationship

Procrastastudy

OP - You're always going to be attracted to other women - thats life. The point of being content in a relationship is when you are honest with your partner.

Everyone deals with it in their own way. Most brush it under the carpet and tell you you're naughty, some go the other way and have an open relationship.

Your age will also be a big factor - some people settle down before others but if you're under 25 you are probably too young. If you meet the right one you'll know it - at almost any age.

Medicine333

relationshipidiot wrote: »

Hi,

Probably a question for the guys. But when does one reach that stage where they are content in a relationship? i.e. not going out chatting up other women or seeking their attention?

I'm in a relationship but whenever I'm out I want to chat to women and flirt. I know some guys who have no interest in such and seem content in their relationships without having to go out and flirt with others.

I'm not sure if I am seeking an ego boost or just some fun but it is annoying me that I cannot seem to be content with what I have.

If you're doing that, you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.

Torakx

All that aside, it may be as you say, a way to get an ego boost.
Which is a little risky,as you might follow trhough if you think about it and do it enough.
If it is then it may mean you have some issues with yourself and how you feel about yourself.

I know when i was with my GF's i would certainly notice other women.
I wouldnt chat them up or anything.I even had to be dragged into a strip club once while insisting i didnt want to go in with a work friend.He even paid for a lapdance that i was trying hard to refuse.I felt like i was cheating while getting the dance and it was not enjoyable at all really.

End of the day for me i dont mind a look here or there at a pretty girl,but it was always more preferable to go home to my girl and have sex or be intimate without any issues with guilt,lying or hurting her etc.

If you dont feel guilty while obviously flirting, you probably are with the wrong girl or have an issue that means you need to go get it sorted.

possibly its a bit of both the issue maybe being self esteem.

LegacyUser

Torakx wrote: »

All that aside, it may be as you say, a way to get an ego boost.
Which is a little risky,as you might follow trhough if you think about it and do it enough.
If it is then it may mean you have some issues with yourself and how you feel about yourself.

I know when i was with my GF's i would certainly notice other women.
I wouldnt chat them up or anything.I even had to be dragged into a strip club once while insisting i didnt want to go in with a work friend.He even paid for a lapdance that i was trying hard to refuse.I felt like i was cheating while getting the dance and it was not enjoyable at all really.

End of the day for me i dont mind a look here or there at a pretty girl,but it was always more preferable to go home to my girl and have sex or be intimate without any issues with guilt,lying or hurting her etc.

If you dont feel guilty while obviously flirting, you probably are with the wrong girl or have an issue that means you need to go get it sorted.

possibly its a bit of both the issue maybe being self esteem.

Hi,

Most of the time I can go out without needing to chat to other women. And I never go to stripclubs even when my friends do their best to get me to go.
I do feel guilty after flirting and berate myself afterwards but another time I will do the same thing again.

I think you are correct with it being a problem with self esteem too. At times I have low self esteem and feel the need for approval from others - be it at work, from friends, strangers, or girls. I often wonder what others think of me - especially after meeting someone for first time and worry I'm not making a good impression!

I really need to work on my self esteem!! Any advice or suggestions on how to do this?

Thanks!

Torakx

I have the same problem
I too am constantly thinking abot how people think about me.
I ahvent figured a way to stop this apart from doing more things for myself that take me out and about ad reminding myself i dont need to prove anything to anyone.
I have never seen a professional or counselor of any kind so that might be why i am still like this.

One thing i noticed is that when i starting jogging nearly every day i became more confident.
I walk more so with my back straight shoulders straight and head up.
I also hear forcing yourself to walk this way can help lead your mind to follow.

Alot of it i think could be to do with habitual thinking.We may need to train our minds into the habit of being more confident in ourselves and how we carry ourselves.