I'm not happy with my life

skinny_guy

I may as well get straight to the point. I'm not a happy person. I suffer from depression, anxiety and I spend a lot of time thinking about all the negative things in my life. I spend a lot of time on my own and I get very lonely.

I do have 3 or 4 very close friends but I'm afraid to talk to them about my problems. I'm just one of those people who keeps their emotions to themselves. I have no confidence in myself.

I have no motivation to get a job or to study for college. I need help. I hate my boring sad life right now On the outside my friends and family think I'm a happy person, but I am not in the slightest.

ElleEm

Have you spoken to your GP about this?

It's also important to utilise the resources you have and not keep all your feelings inside. Talk to the friends you trust of your family about how you're feeling. You may be surprised about how supportive they may be.

Have you looked for support groups in your area. Aware have a few, plus online ones.
http://www.aware.ie/help/support/aware_support_services/

I personally find keeping a journal is a great way to vent my feelings without feeling like I am burdening others.

going un-reg

3/4 "Very" close friends?


They can't be that close if you can't tell them something like this? You have help staring you right in the face and you're not taking it. I don't mean to come off harsh, I've experienced depression myself but I had no friends.

If you have close relationships with people, use them. I wish I had one that I could have confided in.

You're clearly an over thinker, like most people who have depression. Over thinking always leads to negative thoughts, because its YOU who's trying to solve the problem, the person who's depressed (that doesn't work). You need the interaction of people who care for you to alleviate your issues.

I'm better than I was one year on from when I was at my worst. I could have only done it with the aid of people close to me. Trying to tackle this yourself is a nightmare.

G'luck OP.

battle_hardend

going un-reg wrote: »

3/4 "Very" close friends?


They can't be that close if you can't tell them something like this? You have help staring you right in the face and you're not taking it. I don't mean to come off harsh, I've experienced depression myself but I had no friends.

If you have close relationships with people, use them. I wish I had one that I could have confided in.

You're clearly an over thinker, like most people who have depression. Over thinking always leads to negative thoughts, because its YOU who's trying to solve the problem, the person who's depressed (that doesn't work). You need the interaction of people who care for you to alleviate your issues.

I'm better than I was one year on from when I was at my worst. I could have only done it with the aid of people close to me. Trying to tackle this yourself is a nightmare.

G'luck OP.

if the OP tells his friends about having depression , they will always know about it , if the OP manages to beat depression , it will be his secret and he wont forever know that his friends know that he once had it

telling the world about depression is overrated , trust me

Lux23

One of the hardest things to cope with in life is realising just how disappointing it is. But remember for all the boring crap there will be a few brief moments of pure happiness and it will come from places you least expect it!

Torakx

battle_hardend wrote: »

if the OP tells his friends about having depression , they will always know about it , if the OP manages to beat depression , it will be his secret and he wont forever know that his friends know that he once had it

telling the world about depression is overrated , trust me

Theres no need to keep it a secret.
Fair enough, when i stopped turning up for work and my excuse was depression, im sure the foreman and manager didnt think that was a good reason(but i actually never asked)..but who cares what they think.

My friends and family may not have experience with it as much as i have and may not fully understand just how dark a time that was,they certainly would understand a little more why i was and am the way i am.

If i had not of mentioned it to anyone i would not have made it to 25 i think.
Nowadays i fully accept what happened to me and have no shame in saying i had a mental breakdown.

There is ALWAYS a valid reason for someone to be depressed.
Hiding it is like admitting it is not that important or is something to be ashamed about.This is an irrational way to think and to me a sign of neurosis.
Sh1t happens and anyone in the world who thinks i am being overly dramatic about depression is completely ignorant and not worth my attention.Ignorant people can be dangerous to be around.

You dont have to tell your friends now,whatever you FEEL like.
What i had to do was phone my sister and ask her to take me to a doctor because i couldnt even go outside anymore.

The medication and doctor were no help really in my situation(it was a medical condition causing it),but the forward motion to making changes was what set me on a slow road to discovering my illness and im still recovering.

A change of enviornment helped also when i moved from my apartment into my sisters place with her family for 2 months.
That probably saved my life looking back.
Being around people and kids when depressed is so hard at first.But at the same time it prevents you from dropping lower into that darkness.
I mean i found it REALLY hard! But it is important to do it anyway.

I didnt have anyone to tell me this at the time, but never give in to that feeling of emptiness in the world around you.
Its a cloud that will clear if you seek the answers and keep a healthy diet and lifestyle.
If you need help dont wait months like i did.Ask someone close that you trust.Wether its for support and a chat, or a lift to the doctor/counselor or move back with your family.Whatever you can do to start action to fight back.

Sugar,alcohol,tea,coffee,starchy foods and grains all are stimulants or possible alergens and can make it worse.
I cant stress enough how important diet is if you are depressed and there doesnt seem to be any major reasons for you to be.
It is possible that its a medical condition causing it.

With all that said OP why do YOU think your depressed?

ps im in your situation but happy as larry now.So the reasons in the original post might not be the cause either.

battle_hardend

Torakx wrote: »

Theres no need to keep it a secret.
Fair enough, when i stopped turning up for work and my excuse was depression, im sure the foreman and manager didnt think that was a good reason(but i actually never asked)..but who cares what they think.

My friends and family may not have experience with it as much as i have and may not fully understand just how dark a time that was,they certainly would understand a little more why i was and am the way i am.

If i had not of mentioned it to anyone i would not have made it to 25 i think.
Nowadays i fully accept what happened to me and have no shame in saying i had a mental breakdown.

There is ALWAYS a valid reason for someone to be depressed.
Hiding it is like admitting it is not that important or is something to be ashamed about.This is an irrational way to think and to me a sign of neurosis.
Sh1t happens and anyone in the world who thinks i am being overly dramatic about depression is completely ignorant and not worth my attention.Ignorant people can be dangerous to be around.

You dont have to tell your friends now,whatever you FEEL like.
What i had to do was phone my sister and ask her to take me to a doctor because i couldnt even go outside anymore.

The medication and doctor were no help really in my situation(it was a medical condition causing it),but the forward motion to making changes was what set me on a slow road to discovering my illness and im still recovering.

A change of enviornment helped also when i moved from my apartment into my sisters place with her family for 2 months.
That probably saved my life looking back.
Being around people and kids when depressed is so hard at first.But at the same time it prevents you from dropping lower into that darkness.
I mean i found it REALLY hard! But it is important to do it anyway.

I didnt have anyone to tell me this at the time, but never give in to that feeling of emptiness in the world around you.
Its a cloud that will clear if you seek the answers and keep a healthy diet and lifestyle.
If you need help dont wait months like i did.Ask someone close that you trust.Wether its for support and a chat, or a lift to the doctor/counselor or move back with your family.Whatever you can do to start action to fight back.

Sugar,alcohol,tea,coffee,starchy foods and grains all are stimulants or possible alergens and can make it worse.
I cant stress enough how important diet is if you are depressed and there doesnt seem to be any major reasons for you to be.
It is possible that its a medical condition causing it.

With all that said OP why do YOU think your depressed?

ps im in your situation but happy as larry now.So the reasons in the original post might not be the cause either.

just because we would like people to be open minded about depression etc , doesnt meant they will , all im saying is that if you keep a problem quiet , once your over it , only you know about it and its much easier to put behind you

Torakx

I suppose you could be right.
Depends on how its dealt with.
My only way was to embrace the past and learn from it.
Refusing to forget.
But to the OP to be safer its better to ask a counselor who knows what their talkig about.

battle_hardend

Torakx wrote: »

I suppose you could be right.
Depends on how its dealt with.
My only way was to embrace the past and learn from it.
Refusing to forget.
But to the OP to be safer its better to ask a counselor who knows what their talkig about.

ive had depression since 1998 , was no surprise i ended up getting it considering all the crap i was faced with , ive never gotten back to where i was prior to it setting in , changed my life utterly

Torakx

Sorry to hear that
That was around the same time i started to get sick.
I hope you get there soon,for me over ten years was long enough, i do empathise with you there.
In some ways i think my eventual crash caused it to be over quicker.
Because if it was only just bareable i would have just kept going on the meds instead of searching for answers online.

I didnt see a counselor myself.
But i tend to think now if someone is depressed and at the start of their journey it is a pretty good idea to see someone trained with lots of techniques to find those answers quicker.
I mean it took me so many year simply to find what illness i had and now maybe 3 years i have been attempting to recover.

Sometimes i feel time was wasted and i have resentments to the doctors that caused it.But i try to look at the past as a learning experience so i dont fall into those traps again.Thats what i ment about never forgetting in my case.
For you it might be a good idea to forget ..just depends on experiences i suppose.

I dont know the OP's situation only what he has posted there so i would hit a middle ground between us and just say to see a counselor to get a more informed assessment.