Not feeling it by the 3rd date, should I end it?

mspink

I met a lovely guy online nearly 3 months ago, we chatted online for 2 months before meeting and in that time I developed a strong emotional attraction to him. We seemed to be looking for the same things, have a lot in common, he's very open and honest and a genuinely lovely person.
So then when we did meet up we were both really nervous but chatted for hours I came away knowing I liked him but not sure if I was physically attracted. He made it very obvious that he was very interested. I said I would keep getting to know him and see how I feel so we went out again the following week and again got on really well and really wanted to kiss him by the end of the date so felt really positive about us. The next night he asked if I would be his girlfriend and I was really happy so said yes. The problem is the third time I met him I wasn't as attracted to him at all, I caught him staring at my chest early in the night which I laughed off but he couldn't wait to get back to his car so we get intimate. His hands were all over me and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I'm beginning to think I'm just not physically attracted enough and that's why it felt so uncomfortable. Should I keep going with it and see if I become more attracted or is it a lost cause if I don't want him touching me intimately after all this time?

D.R Adams

Hi MsPink,

I think you would be wasting your time here, you said that even from the first meet you didn't really find him physically attractive and tbh no matter how many people say to you "looks aren't all that important" forget it, because they are.

I mean you can get along with a guy all day long but if he doesn't float your boat in that way what's the point, its always going to be in the back of your mind that your not that physically attracted to him. Also I think its a bad sign that he couldn't wait to get you back to his CAR!! Not exactly the most romantic place to be laying your hands all over your new date!

nowyouresix

My advice is to end it.
I would also advise you when you are online dating to meet within a week, or two at the max. You might think you are completely suited, and then there's no chemistry/spark/attraction at all, and you have wasted time. People are always a variance of what they seem on line.
Plenty more fish lol lol

SunnyDub1

I think you should end it.

If you are really interested in someone you should be attracted to them and want them to be all over you..

On the other hand you could tell him to cool back a bit and give him a chance

ash23

Sounds like there was some attraction there on the 2nd date but he ruined it on the 3rd date by getting handsy in his car.

I've had guys that I am attracted to turn me off them by behaving like that. I don't think that you were uncomfortable because you weren't at all attracted to him, but moreso that a big part of the attraction you felt was that he was a "good guy" and you got on well. So him groping you in a car didn't really go with that image you had of him.

Personally I think that had he not been so grabby, you would probably still be fairly attracted to him. But the initial lack of attraction came back once you realised his personality didn't fully make up for it.

Fizzlesque

If it was me, I'd probably end it. I say that because there have been a few times I was in a similar situation and I persevered in the hope it would improve, but it never did. If anything, it reached the point of feeling nauseas when the person in question tried to kiss me. Not a good thing, for either of us.

Mutual attraction is a non-negotiable requisite for me in a romantic affair. It's one of the many gorgeous gifts of falling in love with someone.

Also, it's too easy to drift along in a relationship that's functioning well enough but not actually generating any good energy. Whatever about a relationship that sparkled in the beginning and then lost its lustre, I'd think twice about starting off on a lack-lustre vibe.

I wish you well, whichever decision you decide is best for you. x

Piliger

mspink wrote: »

Should I keep going with it and see if I become more attracted ?

Ehhh ... no ! ?:rolleyes:

I am a friend

I agree with Ash - his behaviour put you off and on that basis, I would let him go. You dont need a sleaze in your life.