being ridiculous?!

cocokay

guys
i have just won a wk away. myself and my partner are stony broke and couldn't afford a holiday this year or the last few yrs! so we are delighted. but i am already worrying about our pooch. either my younger brother will house sit or she will stay with my partners parents & their dog who she gets on well with. we've never been away from her so long tho, max 3 nts. i am worried she will fret, not eat, think we aren't coming back for her etc. my partner says i assume the dog feels exactly like a human & am impressing my own worries on her that she doesn't feel. but i know she will miss us, we are a little family and do everything together. am i mad. his parents are a bit lax when it comes to their own dog - he doesn't get regular walks and i often have to fill up his water bowl etc myself if i go over to the house. if it were my parents i know she wouldn't want for anything but they have a very jealous (blind) terrier who goes nuts, literally howls and barks nonstop whenever he "sees" her. so thats a no-go. i wouldn't put them all through the stress of leaving her with them, either the parents or the dogs! she is a rescue so i always worry she thinks we are going to abandon her like her other family did. she loves her routine and her cuddles and being with the 2 of us. i just hate to think of her sitting by the door for a week waiting for us! it will play on my mind the whole time. i am being ridiculous aren't i. can anyone put my mind at ease or talk some sense into me! if she stays with his parents she has them, his younger brother and another dog for company. but a strange bed and different routines, not as much exercise etc. if my brother can house sit then she will only have him & he will be coming and going but my dad will go around and walk her & she'll have her own familiar home, bed, routine etc. which is less stressful for her? my brother may not even be around, it depends on work. i am taking all the good out of this for myself!

seamus

You're only being a little crazy, but just remember that the dog doesn't have the same concept of time really that you do.

If she's not used to staying in anyone else's home, then I would push to go for the option that allows the dog to stay in her home. If she goes to live with someone else, then it can look like you're moving her and you're leaving her. Unless you've been doing that on a regular basis, she won't understand and any abandonment memories will kick in.

At least in her own home, while she will fret a little because you're not there, the familiar environment will ensure that she doesn't think she's being moved to a new home, and she will know that so long as she's at home, you too will come home eventually. If she's not at home, she doesn't know if you're ever going to come back.

cocokay

thanks Seamus appreciate the reply. unfortunately my brother isn't going to be around now so the inlaws it is! i will just have to cop on & let them know i'm a bit worried n hope they'll spoil her for me

caitmb

I had similar worries going to Australia for few wks but I bit the bullet and packed up pooch to stay with my mother and it all went well!! I sent his own bedding,toys,bowl and food plus an old t shirt of mine that smelled of me.... Before I went though I left him for the odd single night so he got used to it. Im guilty of humanising mine too and thinking they feel as we do,but I had a serious chat with myself and never looked back(well,almost never!).

Good luck and enjoy the break!!

cocokay

heartfelt thanks guys, am starting to feel better

Draupnir

Can you just do a few practice nights in advance? Drop your dog down to them over night a couple of times, to help get your dog used to staying there, if it can get through a few of those and you always come back then the week away won't be a bother to her and you will be more at ease while away too.

noddyone2

All the above is good advice. And what a welcome you'll get when you return!

LucyBliss

I can well understand your worries. I have three dogs and we're a pretty tight knit bunch. I mean that in a good way: we're used to being around one another and the dogs would be happy to have me around on the couch with them 24/7. We're tight knit but not very dynamic. Hah!
But a few years ago, I had to go to the US for a cousin's wedding and the dogs had to go to a dog minder because there was nobody to mind them for me. I was worried about how they'd get on without me and I was going to be away for two weeks.

Like Seamus said, they have no concept of time. And they really enjoyed their new environment, getting to see somewhere new and have a little adventure of their own. Plus it really was great for their personal development and for them not to be too stuck in their ways. I sent the crate and one of their beds out with them because I have one that gets a bit uncertain about new people and places at first, but once she had somewhere familiar to retreat, she was all right. She is actually my péata and I was a bit concerned for her. However, a friend of the dog minder was staying with her that fortnight and Meg ended up sleeping on her lap in front of the TV every evening. The friend was delighted and loved every minute of it, luckily!

So if they're going to a secure and safe and comfortable environment, I'd say the dog will be fine. She'll need a bit of time to settle, no more than anybody would, but I really think that, like me, you'll be more upset than the dog over going away!

Best of luck and hope you enjoy the trip!

Mountainsandh

Hi Cocokay, you're not being ridiculous.
I only have my puppy a short time and am lucky he'll be coming on holidays with us, but I had to go through same anxiety as yours with my cat a few years ago, now it's like a thing of the past.
My cat is a spoilt brat, I chose to have only one on purpose to spoil it .
He loves his routine too, like all cats, and is an indoor/outdoor cat, loves his comfort and our company, hates meeting other cats.
But I had to leave him at a cattery as we were going on holidays for 3 weeks (first time) in our campervan, and I absolutely could not chance taking him I'd be too afraid he'd go exploring and get lost.
I knew he would prefer our home, but also knew that carers I had available would not give him enough attention, he could end up sleeping outside (never has !), being locked out of bedrooms...

So to the cattery he went (I selected it well, no dogs there so no barking to stress him out), and I was soooo soooo worried, like you.
I thought he would be traumatised, he would stop eating, he would be miserable the entire time, he might not remember or recognise us when we came back....

But no, he was fine, he was very very very full of love on our return, remembered us and our home (duh !), wasn't traumatised but did let me know about leaving him for about ... 20 minutes in the car on the way back.

Our pets are tougher than we think. Imagine if she had to go to the vet's for a week, she might not like it but she would survive, and she would be fine. It's one week , out of lots and lots of weeks of cosy comfort, that's all, and even if she doesn't get everything "just so", it's not like she will be mistreated.

My cat now goes to the cattery every summer for a few weeks, he also went for 4 days at Easter, not a bother. I wouldn't have thought he would be so adaptable, but he is ! He strolls in and out of the place now, I know he's still a tiny bit stressed maybe the first day, but other than a minute of nervousness at the start he's fine.

I bet you she's tougher than you think too, just like my Popey. Go off and enjoy yourself, it's probably not a bad thing for our pets to be able to be a bit more independent too, and that will set your mind at rest for future separations too.

kakee

Hi cocokay

I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. We have three bichons and I know if we were in your shoes we would not be going on that holiday unless they were coming too.

You don't say if the holiday is abroad but I persume it is. If it is a holiday abroad could you not consider either selling it or taking money instead if allowed to. Book yourselves in to a nice dog friendly hotel in Ireland and relax for the week.

I know if we were away we would not be happy to be parted from the dogs and would be counting the hours to get home again.

marley123

Maybe suggest the dog do a couple of overnights before you go on hols so used to the environment?

cocokay

thanks for all the replies guys i feel much better plus it turns out now his brother will be there a lot of the time we're away so even if she doesn't get as many walks she will still have company