Heartbroken

LegacyUser

My whole world, life as I know it has fallen apart. My bf of 7 years who I adore has told me he is love with someone else and has upped and left. Gone just like that. There was no signs, nothing! I can't get my head around it. How can someone be so cruel! I don't get it.
Am I ever gonna feel normal again?

Can't eat, sleep, wash! I won't even call anyone as I can't bring myself to say it out loud!! And to be honest I don't want to tell anyone, just hoping it's some crazy nightmare!

The long nights alone are the worst!

Really want to hear from someone who went through this and lived happily ever after!

Heartbroken4ever

Heartbroken4ever wrote: »

My whole world, life as I know it has fallen apart. My bf of 7 years who I adore has told me he is love with someone else and has upped and left. Gone just like that. There was no signs, nothing! I can't get my head around it. How can someone be so cruel! I don't get it.
Am I ever gonna feel normal again?

Can't eat, sleep, wash! I won't even call anyone as I can't bring myself to say it out loud!! And to be honest I don't want to tell anyone, just hoping it's some crazy nightmare!

The long nights alone are the worst!

Really want to hear from someone who went through this and lived happily ever after!

God i really feel for you as after 7 years this is a terrible thing to have to deal with, but unlike your username you wont be heartbroken forever.

You may not think it now but things will get easier.

You need your friends and family around you at this time. Dont isolate yourself. Take as much time as you need to recover from this and keep your mind occupied. You are a desirable person otherwise you wouldnt have had a 7 year relationship to begin with and you will be desirable to many others in the future who are worthy of your love.

Look after yourself OP and be at peace.

LegacyUser

Thank u much for ur replys. Really helps x

mr_edge_to_you

Was in a similar position a few years back. Gf came home and decided she was finished with me. It was a shock - we had a house bought as well which complicated things further.

I found it took me a while to process it myself so I didn't tell anyone for a few days. I didn't want to tell people it was over and then have to tell them "ah no we sorted it out". It was 2 months before I told many of my friends - just told my parents initially.

We all handle these things differently. What you will see is that you have friends who will do anything for you and pick you up when your down! Spend as much time in their company and you won't belong getting back on your feet.

When the initial shock dies down you can process it better and you will be able to deal with it.

Just to let you know there is light at the end of the tunnel- after my 7 relationship had ended and I'd come to terms with it I was looking forward to experiencing single life and all that it entails. Within 5 months I met an amazing girl and within 4 years we built a house, got married and recently became parents for the first time. Never known happiness like it!

Chin up- you'll get through it and be better person for it!

TheMonopolyGuy

For me, 2 previous experiences ring home to yours.

Its the best advice and its the most cliche advice.... time heals all. Its only after you've healed do you realise that its true. But problem is no one knows how long it will take to heal.

In the mean time get out as much as you can and when you are home alone preoccupy yourself with something. A movie, a game, a tv show. What ever you like. Dont just sit and think (doesnt solve anything)

Goes without saying no contact with him and even looking at his facebook etc. Don't dwell on things. The person you knew 7 years ago is not the same person now. That person was your boyfriend and friend. He is niether now. ... "with me or against me" op. And from his actions, he is "against you"

forgetfulme

this was me a couple of years ago. god the devastation was unreal. the best thing i can say is be selfish, really selfish. You need to put yourself first and remember who YOU are. (I know this is hard after 7 years esp cause you had a certain future planned.) Time does heel all wounds....but until then just turn your focus to yourself. Sending hugs xx

nowyouresix

I was you 4 yrs ago when my husband walked out...7 yrs and 3 kids.
Time is the only healer.
Now I'm back to myself and actually dating again..... and ta-da....happy ever after !!

You CAN survive this. Tell someone close....go to your GP even. Help IS there.

Best of luck xxxx

I am a friend

IMHO it's easier to get over someone who has treated you badly. I truly think it's better knowing why, even if it's heartbreaking, then not knowing why and maybe waiting for a reconciliation.

You will get over this but the best thing you can do is just let him go. He, given he has been cheating on you, is not worth crying over. Onwards and upwards.

Big Bag of Chips

Your friends will want to help. If this happened one of your friends wouldn't you like the chance to help them?

It's an awful shock for you. But talking it through with someone will off load at least some of it from your mind. At the moment it's all swirling around in there over and over. The only way to release that is to get it out.

So tell someone.

If I found out one of my good friends was going through this on their own, I'd be disappointed and upset that they didn't come to me for support.

LegacyUser

In a similar boat at the moment. Girlfriend of 3 years cheated, I found out. She said it was nothing. I took a time out. Found out on Sunday she see's no us and wants to be with him. He fought harder for her! She even mentioned starting a family with him. This has made me worse I think. Still in a state of shock as to how quick he was in her bed. But everyone says the same thing with time all wounds will heal. A little hard to think like that at the moment....

LegacyUser

Hi op here,

I just wanted to say thanks again to those who replied! Though I still have a massive pain in my heart and think I'll never feel again your msgs have really helped. Especially in the middle of the nite when I read back over them.

I took all the advice given and have the support of my family and friends!

Maybe someday I get to post my happy ending here x

similar boat

similar boat wrote: »

In a similar boat at the moment. Girlfriend of 3 years cheated, I found out. She said it was nothing. I took a time out. Found out on Sunday she see's no us and wants to be with him. He fought harder for her! She even mentioned starting a family with him. This has made me worse I think. Still in a state of shock as to how quick he was in her bed. But everyone says the same thing with time all wounds will heal. A little hard to think like that at the moment....

Very sorry to hear that mate but you'll become a stronger person from this. in the future you'll use your experience from this relationship to build a stronger one with someone else im sure.

Heartbroken4ever

Heartbroken4ever wrote: »

Hi op here,

I just wanted to say thanks again to those who replied! Though I still have a massive pain in my heart and think I'll never feel again your msgs have really helped. Especially in the middle of the nite when I read back over them.

I took all the advice given and have the support of my family and friends!

Maybe someday I get to post my happy ending here x

theres no maybe about it. There is better things in store for you. Best of luck OP.

ash23

Oh OP. You poor thing
The same happened to me 4 years ago but there was a house and child involved. It hurt like hell but thankfully my family and friends rallied round and helped me through it.
I'm not sure I have a "happily ever after" story to follow up with. But I am happy again and while what happened will probably always leave a trace of mistrust and doubt about others, all in all, I'm ok again.

Keep busy and just take it day by day.