Mind your own bloody business

stickybean

Girls, I need to rant, we're not long married and have been trying for a few months - only the last couple of months have we got serious (as in using OPK's).

Anyway (rant begins) in work today at lunch and a colleague asks (in front of a table of other colleagues) - so any light on the baby front? I nearly died, I am sure people have guessed we are trying, but I have never nor would I discuss my TTC with work folk. I just looked at her and said ah we'll have to wait and see, please God we will have a child some day.

She then continued to ask "are you guys trying?", "have you been trying long?" and "is there any problems?". I was so angry - I tried so smile it all off and answer. In the end she turned and said "Ah don't worry - it will happen for you some day"

I am really getting sick of people butting there nose's in, rant over

meggysmom

stickybean wrote: »

Girls, I need to rant, we're not long married and have been trying for a few months - only the last couple of months have we got serious (as in using OPK's).

Anyway (rant begins) in work today at lunch and a colleague asks (in front of a table of other colleagues) - so any light on the baby front? I nearly died, I am sure people have guessed we are trying, but I have never nor would I discuss my TTC with work folk. I just looked at her and said ah we'll have to wait and see, please God we will have a child some day.

She then continued to ask "are you guys trying?", "have you been trying long?" and "is there any problems?". I was so angry - I tried so smile it all off and answer. In the end she turned and said "Ah don't worry - it will happen for you some day"

I am really getting sick of people butting there nose's in, rant over

Hey there stickybean,
I totally understand where you are coming from,we have a 3 year old and most of the people we know who have a 3 year old have had another child already so we get the "so when you having another one"like you can just go buy one in the shop,we have been trying almost 15 months and have just recently had lap and dye for mild endo and stuck ovary and cyst,since op I have been pretty up front with whoever comes out with silly comments,which leaves them embarrassed and me feeling like I have put them in there place.
The way I see it,there are so many people these days having trouble ttc that I think most people understand and don't say silly things but there will always be those who just don't think before they speak,try not to let those few bother you too much,best of luck to you:)

nowayjosie

stickybean wrote: »

Girls, I need to rant, we're not long married and have been trying for a few months - only the last couple of months have we got serious (as in using OPK's).

Anyway (rant begins) in work today at lunch and a colleague asks (in front of a table of other colleagues) - so any light on the baby front? I nearly died, I am sure people have guessed we are trying, but I have never nor would I discuss my TTC with work folk. I just looked at her and said ah we'll have to wait and see, please God we will have a child some day.

She then continued to ask "are you guys trying?", "have you been trying long?" and "is there any problems?". I was so angry - I tried so smile it all off and answer. In the end she turned and said "Ah don't worry - it will happen for you some day"

I am really getting sick of people butting there nose's in, rant over

Stickybean – sometimes people are just downright ignorant and don’t know when to stop. I think that person who questioned you in such detail and persisted with it front of an audience of colleagues done it to embarrass you. I think you handled it very well and very ladylike (I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to contain myself). My story is I had a baby girl many years back and wanted to immediately get pregnant again – I tried and tried all I thought about was trying and hoping all the time it would happen and it just didn’t happen. I was broken hearted and eventually gave in and stopped trying. I bought a nice bottle of wine got my close girl friends over, told them all I was giving up – we cried and laughed together. But from the next day the thought of ever bothering to try for a baby was gone. 4 weeks later I got pregnant.

FunkSoulSista

Stickybean, what I would say to that is that girl definitely has not got a good life. A. The fact that she has to be so involved in your business means she must have a very sad boring life with nothing going on in hers. B. She had to interrogate you in front of other people clearly trying to hurt you, that's like something you hear of in schooldays, very pathetic.

I've only been married a few months and its unreal the amount of people that ask you, I would never ask anyone that, more so since being on this forum.

A guy friend of mine used to have this response to people when they asked if any kids on the horizon..." No, but how's your sex life?" !!!

stickybean

Thanks girls

Funny I was saying to to my mam the weekend - she said it's always the way - and sure no sooner than (please God) you have a baby -the next thing will be - are you giving them a brother or sister!!!

If there is anything else said think I will be a bit more on the ball, maybe sat we are trying but can't get the angle right

nikkibikki

Hehe, that'd be a good one alright!! Been married almost 9 months now and we already have a 4 year old. I swear, the next person that says "Time for ye to go again" will get a slap! Been trying for almost 6 months.... 1 more cycle til it's time to go to my GP for help, she said give it 6 months and come to her then. I really, really don't want that so throwing everything I have at this cycle. My poor husband told me at the weekend that even he's getting it in work from his male colleagues, and he works in a very male dominated occupation. One of them literally told him not to have such a large gap between kids.... I mean, WTF, stay of of it! None of your god damn business.... Ooooo sorry for hijacking OP, that turned into a bit a rant too....

stickybean

Ah rant away it's good for you!!!

I know it's hard and you are sick of hearing it - but try not put too much stress / worry into this cycle *need to take my own advice*

Even if I am luck enough to get PG this month there will be nearly a 10 year gap :eek: so don't let that worry you x

LegacyUser

Wow - that is unbelievable that someone who is a work colleague would ask you such a personal question..jesus I know people who are married two or three years and don't have kids, I wouldn't dream of asking them if they were planning on having any. Each to their own and all in their own good time. That's so ignorant. As another poster said try not to stress so much about it not happening so quickly.

silly

oh, what an idiot!

my brother and wife are married since 2004 - they cant have kids...they have tried. I was out with my sis in law about 2 yrs ago and a girl said to her "still waiting for you to have news for us!!" my jaw just dropped...
some people have absolutely NO TACT!

LegacyUser

Stickybean - I totally know where you are coming from. What is it with people now a days?! They are so ignorant and very insensative. It's hard to show grace to someone who puts you on the spot like that.

I know your message is back from Jan. and I just found this site last night. So, maybe by now you are expecting. Hoping and praying you are.

Fluffyduck11

Oh stickybean,

I fully understand how annoying people can be, we have been ttc for 3 yrs for no.1 and no joy, both my sis in laws are pregnant and all I get is , "Oh no sign of anything stirring for ye yet?" or "God youre married a good while now are ye planning a family" or my mum in law said to me "well out of them all I thought ye would be the first to have a baby" I feel like screaming at times.

Its hard enough looking at 2 women in the family with their little bumps getting bigger and bigger, wondering what it feels like and will that ever be me, without having people who should know better rubbing your face in it. People can be so cruel and not even know it!!

stickybean

Fluffyduck11 wrote: »

Oh stickybean,

I fully understand how annoying people can be, we have been ttc for 3 yrs for no.1 and no joy, both my sis in laws are pregnant and all I get is , "Oh no sign of anything stirring for ye yet?" or "God youre married a good while now are ye planning a family" or my mum in law said to me "well out of them all I thought ye would be the first to have a baby" I feel like screaming at times.

Its hard enough looking at 2 women in the family with their little bumps getting bigger and bigger, wondering what it feels like and will that ever be me, without having people who should know better rubbing your face in it. People can be so cruel and not even know it!!

Oh that's awful Fluffyduck11, people seriously have NO tact!!!

A few weeks ago at a a family function I wasn't feeling great so decided no to drink - not a big thing, I'm not a huge drinker in anyway. My husbands mam, aunt and cousins spent the night "discreetly" staring at my stomach. It was unreal!! They are dying for a grandchild and have no qualms in telling me about it

lmmoonbeam1976

stickybean wrote: »

Oh that's awful Fluffyduck11, people seriously have NO tact!!!

i can vouch for it - myself and partner are together , not married , 13 yrs and in that time his 2 sister have gotten married and had 2 kids each , now its all - do you not think that it is time for you to have at least one
i feel like saying - well when you have PCOS , m/c x 8 times - one was 16wks , and lost 10stone to try and help it all along and then it fails still . try taking a few steps in my shpes then ask the question :mad::mad::mad:

sorry rant over:(:(:(:(

obplayer

stickybean wrote: »

Girls, I need to rant, we're not long married and have been trying for a few months - only the last couple of months have we got serious (as in using OPK's).

Anyway (rant begins) in work today at lunch and a colleague asks (in front of a table of other colleagues) - so any light on the baby front? I nearly died, I am sure people have guessed we are trying, but I have never nor would I discuss my TTC with work folk. I just looked at her and said ah we'll have to wait and see, please God we will have a child some day.

She then continued to ask "are you guys trying?", "have you been trying long?" and "is there any problems?". I was so angry - I tried so smile it all off and answer. In the end she turned and said "Ah don't worry - it will happen for you some day"

I am really getting sick of people butting there nose's in, rant over

When my second sibling was being born, in the high rise flat when I was about 12, my grandfather turned to my father and said 'and I think that will be enough'. To which my father replied, to hs father obviously, 'I think you should mind your own fukcing business!' Good man!

Neyite

obplayer wrote: »

When my second sibling was being born, in the high rise flat when I was about 12, my grandfather turned to my father and said 'and I think that will be enough'. To which my father replied, to hs father obviously, 'I think you should mind your own fukcing business!' Good man!

Sometimes, bluntness is the only way. I've found that when you tried to fob people off gently or change the subject, the feckers always brought it up again and again..:rolleyes:

It makes my blood boil, it really does. I tried for years to gently deflect one persistant family member and on one night out (I'd just gotten my period yet again that day) She started again so I just barked at her "Lookit, we have been trying for the last 2 years, and have been attending a fertiilty clinic for a year with no success so just F*ck off, allright???"

I was mortified, and so was she, but we both had a chat and she was so supportive. But I guarantee, she will never, ever say to another couple "Well????" expectantly.

If its someone that you cant tell to F*ck off and MYOB, then my "polite answer is: *pause, stare* "that's a very personal question to ask someone, dont you think" *continue staring*

wantano

I know how you all feel, am ttc 14 months and onto fertility clinic. Luckily my family never ask but these random neighbours and people you meet who think they can say what they like. I'd look to say what I really think. What's worse is the "isn't well for you" comments form people with kids, if you go shopping/ for a walk, etc.

Sergio

Im probably the only male that has posted in this forum but after reading some of your posts about this topic i had to tell you my story.Myself and my wife got married last may and are coming up to our 1st anniversary this month. Miraculously when we had a night away in dublin last January we concieved on that night.It was our first time trying properly.
Unfortunately my wife had a miscarriage after only 8 weeks of pregnancy.We both had the usual "When are ye having kids" bulls**t from people since we got married and it bothered me more so than her.
Anyway my wife was out of work for about 3-4 weeks around the time of the miscarriage and when she went back to work a women who works with her went up and put her hands on her stomach and asked her did she have news!!!!!!I mean how much of a f**kin moron was she!!!
My wife barked back saying no she was just fat and the women walked away highly embarrassed.
Serves her right for being such an interfering busybody passing such insensitive comments.My advice to anybody who has to listen to people who ask questions and pass remarks about this stuff that has nothing to do with them would be to make a f**kin ejit of them infront of people!

daenerysstormborn3

Don't normally post in here, not at that stage of my life yet, but this thread caught my eye on the homepage.

Can't believe how intrusive people can be!!

Definitely go with what Neyite suggested, a good old stare down tends to work on these type of people

stickybean

I had to share this -we went to see an elderly relative of my husbands last night, she is a lovely old dear, lives alone and never had kids.

Anyway we just called in to say hi. She kept asking had we news, which neither of us coped what she meant. My husband went up to the bathroom, she rushed over put her hands on my belly and said "don't worry, I know,I knew as soon as you came in", oh it was so cringe worthy, I tried several times to explain several times that I wasn't, that we aren't, that I am NOT PREGNANT, but she kept smiling and winking.

He then came down and she gave him a huge wink and said I am SO happy for you, don't worry, mum's the word. He hadn't a clue what she was talking about and just said ah thats great, thanks.

When we got to the car I explained, normally I / we would be annoyed, but we just laughed so much. Some people,eh?