What was your % of unable to attend?

Bride2012

My friend is a under pressure at the moment, they need 120 people minimum for the booking (they will be charged for 120 even if less attend). They assumed that inviting 160 people would more than cover the minimum but with three days to go they have about 30% unable to attend rate and 50 people cannot attend so they will be paying for at least 10 meals that go unserved.

Have many people had high unable to attend rates since the recession? I just wondering if this is common now and if I should reconsider my list before I send out my invitations as the room would look very empty with a lot less than we've invited.

Just an edit; I am not inviting some people who I would like to invite as we both have large extended families and our parents invited a lot of friends so if I invited extra it would not be a 'rent-a-crowd'. Just wondering how it was for others?

Rew

Bride2012 wrote: »

My friend is a under pressure at the moment, they need 120 people minimum for the booking (they will be charged for 120 even if less attend). They assumed that inviting 160 people would more than cover the minimum but with three days to go they have about 30% unable to attend rate and 50 people cannot attend so they will be paying for at least 10 meals that go unserved.

Have many people had high unable to attend rates since the recession? I just wondering if this is common now and if I should reconsider my list before I send out my invitations as the room would look very empty with a lot less than we've invited.

Just an edit; I am not inviting some people who I would like to invite as we both have large extended families and our parents invited a lot of friends so if I invited extra it would not be a 'rent-a-crowd'. Just wondering how it was for others?

We invited about 150 and struggled to get out minimum of 130. People who were 100% for months backing out

kandr10

Think we invited about 130/140 and about 110 turned up.
You could always stage the invites. Send out the first wave and see what the response is and then invite any extended family if you then had the space. Just don't leave it til too close to the wedding to send out round 2!

Sleepy

It seems to be one of those things that varies wildly from group to group. One thing we've done to try and get an approximate number is run through the guest list and figure out who'd find it hard to make our wedding due to illness, living abroad etc. It's brought our planning numbers down from about 180 to 150.

Our hotel can cater for about 200 if needs be but for now, we've told them we'll be having 120. When it gets closer to the day and we have to give final numbers, I can only imagine that the hotel will be delighted to cater for a larger than expected party

Raphael

We had very good attendance rates from my family, as they were seeing it as an excuse to get family together, but less good from my wifes, as she's foreign.

If you have a minimum number and you;re under it, just invite some of your friends who were only going to be afters invites to the whole thing - after all, you're needing to pay for a meal anyway.

Daisy M

I would imagine the amount been able to attend depends on a lot of different factors, you will get more refusals for a weekday wedding and also for one around the christmas season. This time of year a lot of people have communions and confirmations on which may also clash. I also believe more people are refusing wedding invites due to expense.

clint_silver

depends on when and where youre having it.

If its foreign send out invites as far in advance as poosible to give people heads up.

If its midweek during school year, people with kids have to organise minders and will be dreading doing so, depending on how close the wedding is they may decline closer to the date.

Same will apply even at the weekend and youve specified no kids on the invites.

if its down the country some people might be stuck for money and cant afford the night away. some people HATE travelling even if they do have the money.

If youre both from the area and the hotel is in the area where youre having it, and its a saturday night, expect a higher turnout.

nature of it really.

techdiver

32% unable to attend for us.

Bride2012

techdiver wrote: »

32% unable to attend for us.

A third again. I was naively thinking that it'd be closer to 10/15%, whoops. Ours is on a Saturday in June in the county we both live in but with the recession it's unpredictable.

lazygal

We asked 100 and had 91 on the day. We thought there might be a higher rate as it was a Friday wedding but most of those we expected to make it did. The declines were mostly people who lived abroad or people we knew wouldn't make it but we wanted to ask anyway. There's no way of predicting it though, a friend of mine married on a Saturday a few weeks after me and only 3 people declined, then I've known others have up to a third of the guests decline.

nicowa

We were a bit surprised at the number of people who declined - about 30 people out of 150. We had a good few we knew weren't going to make it from abroad but others we were disappointed on. I wouldn't have thought it was that high either but luckily we had no minimum number. Though the hotel will be a little disappointed at the numbers...

haron

about a 1/3 unable to attend. was talkin to our dj who has 27 dj's working for him and he said 120 is a big wedding now most are round a 100 average.

clint_silver

haron wrote: »

about a 1/3 unable to attend. was talkin to our dj who has 27 dj's working for him and he said 120 is a big wedding now most are round a 100 average.

I dunno about this, depends on the night and the couple and where it is.

I was up in cavan for a local wedding last week and there was 180 plus at it. if there was only 100 in that room it would look bare. 2 in the knightsbrook the week before and there was 150 plus at both of those. then again, was in barberstown recently on a thursday night and there was only 70 at it. that REALLY didnt look good.

But I repeat, it totally depends on the night and the location and the couple.

Gatica

The in-laws had a 20% drop-out and I'd heard the same from others.
We're planning on inviting 155 and think will have 125 because of the number of foreign attendees. The number could drop further though as you said due to others unable to make the trip, busy weekend, etc...

Nasty_Girl

I think we invited 80 and got 60.
We knew a good few of husbands family wouldnt come for various reasons and on my side the least distant of the distant relatives we invited but werent surprised when they declined and some friends who just didnt show up on the day.
We also had a couple of deaths on the way

dori_dormer

We invited ~160 to our wedding and ended up with about hundred, paid for 15 extra meals!

Our wedding was 40 min drive from dublin Sat night, no kids invited, adn we were the first to get married out of all our friends,

This meant,
older/ill relatives declined because of drive
about 6 couples dropped out because their kids werent invited(not because of babysitters, just were upset by no kids)
A lot of our friends were single and declined the +1 which we so graciously gave them

Also on the day, about 5 guests from my OH's side just didnt bother to turn up after RSVPing yes
You can never really tell!

Bride2012

dori_dormer wrote: »

Also on the day, about 5 guests from my OH's side just didnt bother to turn up after RSVPing yes
You can never really tell!

I was worried about people not RSVPing but to say yes and you tell the hotel the numbers based on this and then not turn up! That's beyond rude!

dori_dormer

Bride2012 wrote: »

I was worried about people not RSVPing but to say yes and you tell the hotel the numbers based on this and then not turn up! That's beyond rude!

yep! I couldnt believe it! One was a groomsmans dad, whos wife and everything were there, and they had the cheek to say "*groomsmans dad* is outside and wants to say hi" I was like - " is he not over there with his wife and family"
Eh no, aparently not!

my husband was very annoyed! Didnt ruin the day tho - just forgot about them!

seamus

30%

One-third seems to be the fairly standard figure from anyone I've discussed it with. Though it obviously varies - smaller weddings tend to get higher attendances and naturally weddings away from home (even if it's only an hour's drive) get less.

Loads of people that you had down as rock-solid definites, you'll find yourself receiving a negative RSVP back. For the purposes of estimating numbers, I split the guest list into definites and maybes.
I think we had more "No"s from our list of definites than our list of maybes.

they had the cheek to say "*groomsmans dad* is outside and wants to say hi" I was like - " is he not over there with his wife and family"
Eh no, aparently not!

I've come to learn that some people just hate weddings. No matter how close they are to you, they have this hatred for everything about weddings and would rather spend the day alone on the couch watching TV than go to the wedding. Rather than try to understand it, you're better off just accepting it and not taking it personally

Sleepy

I think my reaction to a 30% refusal would very much depend on which 30% refused tbh!

Gatica

dori_dormer wrote: »

Also on the day, about 5 guests from my OH's side just didnt bother to turn up after RSVPing yes
You can never really tell!

I've heard of that happening before off another girl. I also think not turning up after having RSVP'd unless there was some major emergency is "beyond rude", as Bride2012 said.
I'm hoping to let people know, if someone is supposed to be beside them and they don't turn up, just order for them and have their meal shared at the table! no point paying for it and the hotel pocketing the savings.

greenbicycle

163 invited and 143 came in the end, the ones that couldn't go we kinda expected no's from. So what's that, 13% non attendance, I'm crap at maths....

carolinespring

I was at a friends wedding recently and they invited 370 and had to have 250 for the room (or had to pay for 250) meals. They had expected to have about 320 sit down but it turned out to be 140. Cue one very upset bride as a lot of her friends didn't/couldn't go. It really ruined her day. I was really glad I culd go to support her on her big dy and also as I knew it would mean a lot to her.

I did think it was crazy numbers from the start but people are turning down invites if they can. the wedding cost us the guts of 500 euro.
200 present, 160 hotel, petrol 40, hair 25, drinks 75.

It would have cost a hell of a lot more if I had got a new outfil.

I have a friend who has 9 wedding invites this year and is going to 3. Her best friend, her husband is bestman at one and the other is a family one but it means no family holiday.

The downturn is really hitting numbers

dori_dormer

seamus wrote: »

30%

I've come to learn that some people just hate weddings. No matter how close they are to you, they have this hatred for everything about weddings and would rather spend the day alone on the couch watching TV than go to the wedding. Rather than try to understand it, you're better off just accepting it and not taking it personally

I agree, but dont see why they just dont RSVP no?
His wife and grown up kids were all there beside his empty seat! He actually drove them all down to the wedding, then left them there to go fishing at a nearby lake! Couldnt believe the cheek!

Was a year ago now, so Im pretty much over it, but now I dislike hima nd his family!

seamus

dori_dormer wrote: »

I agree, but dont see why they just dont RSVP no?

Oh, he actually said yes? Ah well then he's just a prick.

Monife

We invited 70 and 50 came. 8 of them told us early on that they wouldn't be able to make it, 4 of them told us very late (like a couple of weeks before the wedding), 4 of them told us the week of the wedding (a few days before the day) and 4 of them just didn't show up (but then made excuses after). So almost 30% and that was a low number of guests to begin with...

username123

Ive a friend getting married away during the summer and so far they have a 55% unable to attend rate.

Its just too expensive for a lot of people.

Sleepy

username123 wrote: »

Ive a friend getting married away during the summer and so far they have a 55% unable to attend rate.

Its just too expensive for a lot of people.

To be fair, that's why most people are avoiding foreign weddings these days. They've become something of a relic of the celtic tiger tbh.

tinkerbell

Sleepy wrote: »

To be fair, that's why most people are avoiding foreign weddings these days. They've become something of a relic of the celtic tiger tbh.

Yep agreed. I'm of the opinion, that if you're having a foreign wedding, you have to consider that it costs guests way more to get there. It may be cheaper for the couple to get married abroad, but it works out far more expensive to the guests, no matter what the bride & groom say.

How Strange

We had a Dublin wedding; sent invites to 120, 20 declined by RSVP date and another 10 didn't turn up on the night but for good reasons.

Gatica

username123 wrote: »

Ive a friend getting married away during the summer and so far they have a 55% unable to attend rate.

Its just too expensive for a lot of people.

Actually anyone I've known who had a foreign wedding was doing it reduce their guest list and reduce cost. Less people at a wedding, less people to pay for...

tinkerbell

Gatica wrote: »

Actually anyone I've known who had a foreign wedding was doing it reduce their guest list and reduce cost. Less people at a wedding, less people to pay for...

Yeah it costs less for the b&g but costs way more for their guests to attend, that's why we're saying the % non-attendance is so high for weddings abroad. Not only do you have the usual accommodation cost, you also have to take a good few days off work to take into account travel time, buy your flights, travel insurance, etc etc.

Regarding a wedding in Ireland, usually if it's a smaller wedding most people you invite can make it. But large weddings of 200+ you could be talking at least 15-20% that can't make it.

sushisushi

We're currently looking at almost exactly 20% for a Thursday wedding, most of which seems to be a combination of having to travel to Dublin and/or get time off work, not surprisingly, given the time of week.

witnessmenow

Anyone getting married during the euros? Is that effecting your RSVP figures?

Myself and the OH have been invited to our first weddings that werent family and they are both on the two weeks of the euros! I'm flying out the morning of the Irish game so I can go to the first wedding but i cant go to the second.

Miaireland

I was at a wedding a couple of months ago. The couple had invited 250, thought at max they would have 220. They had banked on this when picking the venue. In the end 249 people attended.

Ginny

Married in September, invited 120 had no refusals as far as I remember, had 5 no shows but they all had good reasons. We had a Sunday wedding, close enough to home but not in Dublin.