Infraction on Personal Issues Forum

NFH

Hello,

I posted a reply to the "Confused/traumatised about an incident" thread in the personal forum. The mod 'blue wolf' thought my post warranted an infraction but I think this was very much so an overreaction. My post was not in line with all the other replies but was what I thought was respectful. I think the mod simply did not agree with me. At most I think the post could have been deleted and me given a warning, but not an infraction, as I know with 3 you get a ban. I'll put the link and mod messages below.

Kind regards
NFH

The thread -
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056596621


The mod message -
Dear NFH,

You have been infracted for a breach of the forum charter.

Every forum on Boards.ie has a charter which lists any specific rules that forum may have and it is really important that you read this as it'll You should also understand that every forum is different and that Charters are how you learn the differences.

Please see the Boards.ie FAQ for more details.

If you wish to appeal this infraction you can see details on how to do so here.

bluewolf

Moderator Note

Telling a traumatised assaulted person "you weren't raped and I'd dump you" & getting into the semantics of rape discussions is not helpful to OP. please read forum charter. thanks.


My reply -
What!? This is a public forum and I just wanted to voice my opinion and I think I did so respectfully to be honest. I based my opinion on what she told us, I don't think she was raped. I think she just made some horribly bad choices and in regret cried rape. I know people who have actually been raped and this situation does not equate. No offense intended but whats the point in a public forum if only one sided opinions get voiced. Kind regards.

The mod reply -
It is a public forum with clear rules.
I'll break it down for you.
The thread was not "was I raped", it was "I'm confused and traumatised". She described a situation in which she said "no no no" and was then assaulted.
The first reply on the thread was a mod instruction.
There was a second mod instruction on the thread regarding helpful posting.
Despite this you posted calling her mental and telling her her bf should dump her and getting into semantics.
In no way was this acceptable, constructive, or keeping in line with the forum rules, and it disregarded mod instruction on thread.

If you disagree with the infraction you may appeal in DRP as that's my final word on it.


My last reply -
I know the thread wasn't titled "I'm raped" but the replies called it rape and I had an issue with that because I dont think it was rape

She didn't say she said "no, no, no", she said' "No, this is not right, you know this is wrong stop, stop" and then let him have sex with her, there is a difference. I didn't call her mental, I said her letting him have sex with her with the notion he would get over his crush (her words) is mental. And yes, if my girlfriend did what she did by going back with this guy for a private drink, I look at that as reason to break up with her so would alot of other people.

I did not think my post was against the two mod posts thats why I posted. I dont know what an infraction implies but no I wont argue it, this is ye're show, but I do think its wrong to sanction me just because you hold a different opinion.

Regards


Any help would be appreciated

Scofflaw

I can see where you're coming from, but the rule in PI is supportive posting, and that was anything but. Your post wasn't particularly helpful, and need not have been made at all - it was an argument about the semantics of the term 'rape', a dismissal of what the OP had gone through, a confirmation of her worst concerns over the episode, and more or less ignored the OP's actual statements. All of that, in turn, suggests a degree of insensitivity which makes the possibility of infractions leading to a ban a foreseeable and unobjectionable path.

Infraction upheld. You may ask for Admin review, but I have to point out that I'm not making this judgement to support the mod, but for the reasons I've stated.

moderately,
Scofflaw

NFH

Thanks for the reply and may I say, very excellently worded I was unaware that replies in the PI forum were always suppose to be supportive in nature, but that's my fault for not reading the forum rules prior to posting.

My reply was more so based as a reply to the other replies which I thought were over the top. In hindsight I can see this was insensitive to the OP but to be fair I did not agree with replies suggesting rape and seriously thought going to the guards was not the advice needed. However I did offer the advice in saying she should talk to her councilor. I think the reaction to my reply comes from a place that once the word rape is mentioned it sticks, and if the situation had actually been rape then my reply would have been awful and gotten a bad reaction, which is what I think happened. Again, did not know supportive replies were the rule so that's my bad but would have thought a warning would suffice since I don't usually post on that forum. Regards

Scofflaw

NFH wrote: »

Thanks for the reply and may I say, very excellently worded I was unaware that replies in the PI forum were always suppose to be supportive in nature, but that's my fault for not reading the forum rules prior to posting.

My reply was more so based as a reply to the other replies which I thought were over the top. In hindsight I can see this was insensitive to the OP but to be fair I did not agree with replies suggesting rape and seriously thought going to the guards was not the advice needed. However I did offer the advice in saying she should talk to her councilor. I think the reaction to my reply comes from a place that once the word rape is mentioned it sticks, and if the situation had actually been rape then my reply would have been awful and gotten a bad reaction, which is what I think happened. Again, did not know supportive replies were the rule so that's my bad but would have thought a warning would suffice since I don't usually post on that forum. Regards

Unfortunately, again, while I can see the point about you not being a regular poster, other posters will not necessarily be aware that you're not a regular, which could leave them with the impression that similar posts by them would be mildly treated. And down that road, I suspect, lies a PI forum in which nobody would actually post any personal issues...

moderately,
Scofflaw