unsure what to do

LegacyUser

Ok, I don't even know where to start to be honest. My heads a bit jumbled so please forgive me if I don't explain myself very well.

I'm a college student I've always been a sensitive person and have been quite anxious but last summer (summer job) i started getting worse in my anxiety which eventually led to panic attacks which were awful. When I started back to college I kept on my job weekends but found that my anxiety was kicking in during the week at the thought of going to work that weekend and was becoming too much to handle, so I went to my college doctor.
The doctor didn't feel happy prescribing me medications, for what reason I don't know. I'm in a mental health course so unless between that and my inability to explain myself well was the cause, so referred me to the college counselling service. Although it was helpful, it didn't help my anxiety too much as I'm the type of person who cannot express themselves easily. Instead I like to please, so just tell her how things are improving even though they're not because I don't want to disappoint her.
It all eventually became too much and I quit work. Assistant manager offered to keep my job for me, so I accepted.
I'm now due to start back in a few weeks and I'm already in knots about it, been on the verge of tears all day. And this bothers me because I'm normally a really happy person.

I've been looking up natural remedies such as bach rescue remedy and although iv read excellent reports I don't think it will be strong enough. I really feel that I need to be prescribed something to get through the summer - i'm in college and my parents are unemployed so I need the job. I just don't think my head can handle it.
What can I do?

Ickle Magoo

Obviously we can give neither medical advice nor advise you on medication - that's something you need to get from your GP and if you aren't satisfied with their assessment, get a second opinion...but hopefully posters can give advice on dealing with anxiety in general.

KKkitty

OP first of all I'm sorry you're experiencing this. As the mod pointed out I'm not going to advise on medication but during an anxiety or panic attack breathe in and out slowly and calmly. Find out where your anxiety is coming from and then try sort it. Have you someone to talk to? There is support groups almost everywhere for anxiety so find out where the nearest one to you is and go. The best of luck to you and I really hope you'll be ok

P. Breathnach

It looks to me as if the anxiety is mainly linked with the job. Am I reading things correctly?

LegacyUser

thanks for replies! No of course i'm not looking for advice re meds, except maybe do you think its enough to go to my GP about? the college doctor didn't seem to take me too seriously and kind of brushed me off so I don't want to go through that again as it was hard enough to get myself to go in the first place. So i kinda want a bit of hope that it will get me somewhere.

Yeah it is mainly towards my job for some reason. I was going great in the job, full of confidence which is rare for me so I was delighted, then some changes were made and that's when my anxiety started - I think from the fear of no longer performing to the standard I was and therefore letting everybody down.
And my manager did confirm that once over something silly (and it really was silly). "You've let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let (business) down". which resulted in me having a panic attack in the smoking area outside.

Yeah I was taught breathing exercises in counselling, but that won't help for long because my work in fast paced anyways so I can't keep my body relaxed for long, you know?
I've also tried challenging my thoughts but that will only give me relief before work, when i'm there i'm in too high a state of panic that it just doesn't make enough impact.

So, do you think it would be worth going to the GP?

wylo

Hi OP, have you considered a philosophical process where you challenge your own sense of self , and investigate to see what it actually is, and get yourself out of it?
Cant say I was as bad as you , but doing that changed my whole life.

Otherwise have you looked into CBT?


As for panic attacks, you really have to learn to experience them, not resist them, they are a completely self fullfilling phenomenon, i,.e. the fear of panic attack intensifies, and the fear of being out of control intensifies it, if you just experience it , watch it , and LET it happen, as in , literally invite to grow stronger, then it will eventually dissolve, do this a few times and your done with them.

LegacyUser

wylo - Can you explain a bit more what you mean by this?
Oh i've had panic attacks, I just don't want them any more. And they're very
embaressing and I just don't want that dread of going to work every day and then
the dread in work. It will ruin me.

wylo

unsure_anxious_student wrote: »

wylo - Can you explain a bit more what you mean by this?

Its basically a process you go through where you discover your sense of self is just an in idea, rather than based on something real and tangible, and as a result you get freed from it, and the baggage and conditioning it carries with it, you are then in a much more stable and honest place to sort out your stuff, i.e. in your case, huge insecurity, inferiority complex,and anxiety.

Your need for other peoples approval is based entirely and completely on your sense of self, and the need to have it constantly beefed up. When you see there is no self, that need falls away.

If you want to know even more detail ill get into it, the only reason i dont bother is because
1:most people think its weird, so theres no point waffling on about it to people not interested
2. some people express a big interest, I then go on to explain the process and they don't reply
3. Sadly , alot of the people that think its weird are the people that suffer more from the kind of stuff you talk about. I find it ironic , but I guess it makes sense, you are so heavily invested in yourself that it seems inconceivable what Im talking about.

Oh i've had panic attacks, I just don't want them any more. And they're very
embaressing and I just don't want that dread of going to work every day and then
the dread in work. It will ruin me.

Well , as per my advise in the last post, that attitude may be the very thing that keeps spurring them on. Im not saying for you to WANT panic attacks the rest of your life, what Im saying is, if they arise, if you do not embrace them or "go with them", they will get worse because a huge part of a panic attack is the fear of it getting worse.