Can't cope with stress

LegacyUser

Hi I'm not sure if this is the right place to post or not,

I started a phd 6 months ago and I'm finding it really difficult to deal with the workload. I go to college from 9-6(ish) each day and do my best to read as many papers around the area as I can. Problem is I find it really difficult to really concentrate on anything, I find I'll read papers and forget them almost entirely by the next day.

This fact combined with upcoming deadlines and meetings means I'm starting to feel really out of my depth, incompetent and like a fraud. I feel like my supervisor thinks I'm really clued in on my area (as I should be) but I still don't get a lot of whats going on. I feel like if I go and talk to her about this she'll assume I haven't been doing enough work.

On top of this both one of my parents is in hospital and there is other family crap going on. My dad has had problems with stress in the past (and still has) and I think I have the same thing. Since I've been a kid everytime something bothers me I get headaches and stop sleeping. This went on throughout my teens and now I'm in my twenties and its gotten to the stage where I'm sleeping about 4 hours a night.

This means the next day I'm probably a lot less productive than I should be and maybe why I can't concentrate or remember literature. I also get headaches most days, I'm assuming from tension and I've started getting really irritable with my housemates and family. I think I'm reaching breaking point.

I was just wondering if anyone has been to see a doctor about stress before? I can't afford to go if all I'm going to hear is 'meditate and find time to enjoy yourself'. I've tried these things. My biggest enjoyment has always been reading books but after a day of hard work I can't even enjoy that anymore.

Piliger

Hi OP. Firstly you really MUST talk with someone about this. Your friends. Your tutor. Someone. Thats is really important.
Whatever you are doing, it looks to me like it may not be for you. If you're not remembering then it may well be because your sub conscious is telling you this is not where you should be.
There is abs no doubt lack of sleep DESTROYS your ability to learn or perform. But which is causing which ? Only you can know. Talking to others really help self discovery.
Dealing with stress is a really really difficult thing. There is no magic panacea. We have learn our own tricks of how to cope. We have to delve inside and connect with our instinct and look at what we are doing. Is this the right subject ? Is a phD right for you ... at this time? You are still very young, though you may not realise it ... and a change of direction may be what you need.

Best of luck.

face1990

Considering that the stress is starting to affect your health by the sounds of it (or certainly will be soon if it continues) along with the fact that you've a parent in hospital, I can only imagine your supervisor would be quite understanding of that.
You've put forward a good argument here, so could you explain the whole situation to her?

Either way, it sounds like it can't go on like that much longer. Is there any way you could take some personal time off?

woodchuck

stressstressstress wrote: »

Hi I'm not sure if this is the right place to post or not,

I started a phd 6 months ago and I'm finding it really difficult to deal with the workload. I go to college from 9-6(ish) each day and do my best to read as many papers around the area as I can. Problem is I find it really difficult to really concentrate on anything, I find I'll read papers and forget them almost entirely by the next day.

Sometimes I read papers and forget them almost immediately :rolleyes: Seriously. The majority of PhD students have problems and inadequacy issues, particularly in the first year. Some practical advise for paper reading:
- Make notes. This might only amount to one or two sentences bottom lining the findings that are relevant to your own work. Or it might be outlining some techniques that you think will come in useful.
- If you don’t already use endnote (referencing programme); start! Your library might run tutorials for this depending on where you’re studying. It’s a great way to keep track and organise all the papers you’ve read (as soon as you’ve read a paper, add it to your endnote library and make your notes within it).
- Do you do journal clubs at all? Most groups do (or should do) these regularly. When it’s your turn you’ll know that paper inside out. And having others do it will mean you’ll get a much deeper understanding of other papers too and it’s an opportunity to discuss anything that might be confusing you about it. If this isn’t something your supervisor already does then suggest it. She’ll be impressed that you’re taking the initiative.

This fact combined with upcoming deadlines and meetings means I'm starting to feel really out of my depth, incompetent and like a fraud. I feel like my supervisor thinks I'm really clued in on my area (as I should be) but I still don't get a lot of whats going on. I feel like if I go and talk to her about this she'll assume I haven't been doing enough work.

She won’t expect you to be an expert in the field right away. Just keep doing the reading with the tips above and it should help. Also if you’re having trouble grasping the core concepts of your subject area, don’t be afraid to get out actual books about it. It’s amazing how quickly people forget what a good resource books can be! Journals are essential for the in depth stuff, but you need to get a grip of the basic concepts first. But if you find that you really can’t understand or figure something out on your own then ask for help. If you’re not comfortable going to your supervisor, is there a more experienced PhD student or postdoc in your group that you can talk to?

On top of this both one of my parents is in hospital and there is other family crap going on. My dad has had problems with stress in the past (and still has) and I think I have the same thing. Since I've been a kid everytime something bothers me I get headaches and stop sleeping. This went on throughout my teens and now I'm in my twenties and its gotten to the stage where I'm sleeping about 4 hours a night.

This means the next day I'm probably a lot less productive than I should be and maybe why I can't concentrate or remember literature. I also get headaches most days, I'm assuming from tension and I've started getting really irritable with my housemates and family. I think I'm reaching breaking point.

I was just wondering if anyone has been to see a doctor about stress before? I can't afford to go if all I'm going to hear is 'meditate and find time to enjoy yourself'. I've tried these things. My biggest enjoyment has always been reading books but after a day of hard work I can't even enjoy that anymore.

It would be worthwhile talking to your GP if the stress is affecting your health.