Still shook after a burglary

LegacyUser

I live on my own
I do have friends and such but I just rent a flat on my own at the moment.
Not anti-social or anything, I rented rooms for years but I've a decent job and like my own flat.

Got broken into a few weeks back and found the intruder.
I was calm and got him out. I didn't freeze and I think I handled it well, the gardaí said I did very well

But it's only now it's hitting me.
Found the lad in a back room in the flat with the lights off and everytime I go in there I get a flashback of seeing him or I nearly half expect to get jumped and knocked to the ground.
Go into the room to get something and bend over to pick up a DVD and I start looking over my shoulder. Sounds ridiculous

There are break-ins all over Ireland so I'm not unique, it's a common issue.

Part of me is thinking HTFU and be a man, move on. A man is supposed to be strong and confident after all.
I would never be someone who ever talks about weaknesses or issues to others, maybe I have it bound up that worries mean you are weak. Again this may be just something common in men in Ireland, we look to the strong silent type

This has me confused, surely I should have panicked at the time and forget about it later but I'm the opposite, I was calm at the time and it's hitting me now later.

Would conselling help do you think? Even just an hour for someone to talk to, I don't think this is a deep problem or anything
I don't realy want to talk to a friend on this, I'm not open like that.
Anyone else ever had an intruder and left them second guessing themselves?

You don't need to have deep dark problems for counselling to help.
you have an issue here and you want to address and resolve it - yes, I think it would help. I'm not surprised you have that fear after it, someone invading your own personal space where you think you should be safe, it's a big thing.
As for being calm then, it sounds like you were just in shock and it kicked in later.
It's normal to feel this way I would say so don't beat yourself up about it

I am a friend

God love you - thats my worst nightmare...

Do you have an alarm on the place? If not, why not invest in those individual window alarms. It should give you some peace of mind. Dont beat yourself up cos you reaction is very normal, whether male or female.

WindSock

You've been intruded in your home where you're supposed to feel the most secure. It's a horrible feeling that you were not expecting. The fact that you managed to handle it well with no physically bad consequences is a good thing. However the emotional consequences in the aftermath can be hard to control. It's not about being strong or a weak person to feel that way, we all feel fear for good reason.

I found it was magnified when I was living alone myself. Every little noise would play on my mind. You are probably still coming to terms with there being someone in your house. Do you have any friends you can talk to and have stay over until you feel more at ease? Or even neighbours close by that you can chat with and tell them to keep an eye out? They might understand and can check up on you from time to time.

neuro-praxis

There is something known as post traumatic stress - which basically means that you suffer a lot of stress after a traumatic event. Most people suffer it to some degree when something bad has happened to them. You are going through a bit of that - anxiety, flashbacks etc. In most cases the problem can definitely be alleviated by talking it through. As you are not comfortable talking to friends or family, I reckon booking a couple of sessions with a counsellor is a great idea and would leave you feeling much better.

Your reaction is totally normal.

Also, to quote Gar in the play Philadelphia Here I Come, "To hell with all strong silent men!" It takes strength and courage to face our worries and open up about them.

Good luck.

Pandora2

As with the other posters, I think that what you describe is entirely to be expected. I have been broken into a couple of times through the years, once when I was home alone in bed sick:eek: And I definetly suffered anxiety for a few months after that event but, it passed with time. You might get in touch with victim support, this is their forte and they helped me immensely!!

lau1247

op, it will pass with time as you get used to it..

I don't think you need counselling, but i do think it might not be any harm to take up some self defense class.. you cannot prepare much for who and when thief will break in however you could prepare yourself to fend them off..

Something like MMA class may help, i was doing it with a work colleague recently and it involves techniques to break hold and counter the opponent. also good way to gain strength..

though i have to say, be prepared to get some bruises from training

good luck

neuro-praxis

lau1247 wrote: »

I don't think you need counselling, but i do think it might not be any harm to take up some self defense class.. you cannot prepare much for who and when thief will break in however you could prepare yourself to fend them off..

I have no problem with self defense classes but I would strongly advise speaking to someone about your feelings. Learning to fight is not the solution to this anxiety and stress.

MissOphelia

Would you please consider contacting Victim Assistance- They are trained volunteers who will support you through this terrible experience for as long as you need

snafuk35

crimelad wrote: »

I live on my own
I do have friends and such but I just rent a flat on my own at the moment.
Not anti-social or anything, I rented rooms for years but I've a decent job and like my own flat.

Got broken into a few weeks back and found the intruder.
I was calm and got him out. I didn't freeze and I think I handled it well, the gardaí said I did very well

But it's only now it's hitting me.
Found the lad in a back room in the flat with the lights off and everytime I go in there I get a flashback of seeing him or I nearly half expect to get jumped and knocked to the ground.
Go into the room to get something and bend over to pick up a DVD and I start looking over my shoulder. Sounds ridiculous

There are break-ins all over Ireland so I'm not unique, it's a common issue.

Part of me is thinking HTFU and be a man, move on. A man is supposed to be strong and confident after all.
I would never be someone who ever talks about weaknesses or issues to others, maybe I have it bound up that worries mean you are weak. Again this may be just something common in men in Ireland, we look to the strong silent type

This has me confused, surely I should have panicked at the time and forget about it later but I'm the opposite, I was calm at the time and it's hitting me now later.

Would conselling help do you think? Even just an hour for someone to talk to, I don't think this is a deep problem or anything
I don't realy want to talk to a friend on this, I'm not open like that.
Anyone else ever had an intruder and left them second guessing themselves?

Go talk to someone. Victim Support might be a good idea. Lots of people talking to eachother about being victims of crime. Talking about your feelings and having a big cry to let it all out is no harm at all. It's like emptying a septic tank and getting it all out in the open.
You could also take up martial arts which will boost your confidence no end. Mixed martial arts is the best and most practical discipline by far.
If you know you can defend yourself against all comers you will feel more confident and less scared. I have relatives in the states who own guns but unfortunately in this country we have crazy gun laws that prevent home defence.

Tabitharose

I live on my own, and was broken into at the end of last year, what you're feeling is, in my opinion pretty normal.

Like you, when you go into your back room, getting a flashback, the same thing happens to me, but it's starting to happen less & less (slowly).

I don't agree with others in relation to self defence classes - I don't think this would necessarily help how you're feeling, it's coming to terms with the fact that someone invaded YOUR home - the one place that you are ultimately supposed to feel safe, and comfortable, that you need help with.

Ring the Victim Support no., that you would have been given, and remember that it's still very recent & that it's 100% normal to be feeling the way you are - good luck.