Finding it difficult

LegacyUser

Last summer I got involved very briefly with a man. He turned out to be a liar. He lured me in with empty promises just to lie more when question and feck off on a whim leaving me there wondering and confused and hanging in the air and leaving two very different opinions of him:
1)One of how nice and gentlemany he was and one with deep respect, and
2)One of how rude and disrespectful he was to not follow through on his gestures

I was confused to say the least and even though he proved to be untrustworthy I was naive enough to give him a small bit of the benefit of the doubt on the off chance he was genuine. That hope fecked me over. My mind was fcuked over good and proper. Whether this was done intentially or not from him I don't know but I found it insulting.

I'll admit that this took a toll on me and I was in a bad shape for some time. I couldn't figure out why? Well some time has passed now and I'm doing so much more better thank goodness. However there is a small slight problem. We share the same forums and he's coming across in the forums as someone who is nice. He has strong views and opinions on many different serious social issues and he's coming across as someone who respects people. He was far from it with me. He treated me appaulling with a pack of lies and had no conscience whatsoever.

squonk

Not being smart but, you're point/issue is?

We all know a few people who are street angels and house devils. Just because I have an appalling relationship with someone doesn't necessarilly make that someone a bad person that the rest of society should shun. Only you can answer what went wrong in your relationship with this guy. I'm sorry you were so hurt but maybe quit the forums for a while and take some time to get your head sorted and move on? There are two sides to every story and the side you presented was quite generic with very little detail to go on. I'm just not sure what you want!

I am a friend

Whats your question or is this a dig at someone on here?

LegacyUser

Op here,

There he is being nice and respectful yet he was so different towards me. This has my blood boiling.

PlainP

If he was such a d***head towards you should just be glad your rid of him now..

It shouldn't matter to you what he is like with other people or how he is on forums.

You need to get him out of your head and stop worrying about s**t that he says now as its not really anything to do with you anymore.

Emme

OP, people like that are best forgotten. Whatever he did to you, he will probably do to somebody else and it's outside your control. Move on, get busy and don't dwell on it.

WindSock

Eh, people posting on the internet are always going to portray themselves in a certain way. No one is going to say everything they say is a load of bull. No one would even say that in real life...

Also, your personal relationship with someone means you are going to perceive them in a different light altogether, especially if things ended badly. Maybe he wasn't lying and meant it at the time but changed his mind or whatever, seems to happen often anyway. The main thing is, it was last summer you say. If it is still wrecking your head at this stage then perhaps avoid the forums he uses or put him on ignore until you're truely not bothered by it anymore.
And stop letting it play on your mind. A year is an awful long time to mull over something that happened in a short space of time. You really have to start thinking of other things, positive things for your own benefit. Don't let this experience marr your thoughts any longer, it is not good. Try to learn from it and make that be the good thing that has come out of it so you don't let it happen again. Good luck.

Johnny_BravoIII

You had a brief affair with a man during the summer 2011?
Whilst you state you are "over it"........it's clear that by posting on a forum for support in April 2012, you are not.

This has nothing to do with this bloke who may or may not have acted appropriately. It's to do with you learning how to move on from disappointments in a shorter time-frame.

LegacyUser

OP I went through something similar. I know what it's like to meet someone who is nice and then wrecks your head with mind games and goes on with their life as if nothings happened. It takes time to heal from that and the best advice even though it may be hard is to just ignore him, don't waste your time thinking or getting annoyed over him.

I am a friend

op.green.spirals wrote: »

Op here,

There he is being nice and respectful yet he was so different towards me. This has my blood boiling.

What is your question???

Ickle Magoo

OP, this is an advice forum - is there a particular aspect of this situation that you require advice on?

LegacyUser

Windsock,

You wrote that maybe he wasn't lying. I don't know but my gut and it took me ages well into the winter to listen to it told me he was telling lies. I know people change minds. It would have taken a few minutes to contact me/to send a message - telling me he doesn't see it going anywhere and that he would be unable to continue with his promises. Look, I don't know and I don't care anymore. All I do know is that I was lied to and I found it insulting.

@JB, mark my words I'm well over it. I wrote a brief description to provide a bit of background information.

My issue is that he had an absolute pure disregard for me and was disrespectful and here he is showing respect to others and I did nothing on him expect for shacking up with him. There was no need for lies of that nature.

I took a break away for the past 6 months or so and it did me good and helped a lot but I'm now back and it stings seeing this person with morals considerating he thinks lying is an acceptable treatment towards another.

I am a friend

Is this your blog?

I assume this guy posts in pi so you are having a dig.

squonk

OP you're still not making much sense. Look, either piss or get off the pot. What the heck happened? What did he do or say that you would consider it lying? If you want advice then give some sort of timeline or give some specifics in what you are saying. If you want advice on some aspect of all this then state what the problem is and you'll get plenty of it.

Right now from reading your posts all I can get is a statement; "This guy looks like he treats people with respect, but he treated me appallingly".... and??????

WindSock

op.green.spirals wrote: »

Windsock,

You wrote that maybe he wasn't lying. I don't know but my gut and it took me ages well into the winter to listen to it told me he was telling lies. I know people change minds. It would have taken a few minutes to contact me/to send a message - telling me he doesn't see it going anywhere and that he would be unable to continue with his promises. Look, I don't know and I don't care anymore. All I do know is that I was lied to and I found it insulting.

Hi OP, yeah there are either two things that happened here. Either he said those things and they didn't mean so much to him when he said them and didn't follow through, even though it meant much more to you. If he meant it at the time, even flippantly, it doesn't make him a liar or a bad person, just a bit of a dreamer and it was best to know that early on before you got into something more serious.

Or else he said or did whatever he said/did to directly feck with your head, which makes him to be a total dick and you are well shot. This seems to be the angle you are taking now on the whole thing. That he is malicious.

It appears you have been putting a serious amount of thought and energy into something that happened a briefly a while ago.

If you believe he deliberately set out to piss you off then what are you going to do about it? Continue to let him get to you? Or disregard him completely and get on with your own life?