Unsure in LTR

LegacyUser

Hi, Im a regular contributor and just wanted some advice, if there was any available on the following.
I have been with my OH for a long time, ten years this Oct. For the last few years I have doubts on and off and have always been honest and talked through what I thought was going on with me. It has been very tough, we are both self employed and some would say this in itself is a recipe for disaster! And the reason I suppose we haven't got married or a house, etc. But its so hard to see clearly where my doubts are coming from when your in a very tight financial and stressful place.
He loves me unconditionally and i love him, but I've always known that maybe he loves me more. He is a fantastic person, I don't know anyone kinder, funnier, more loving, and couldn't imagine getting on with anyone better. So I often wonder why the hell I don't feel more passionate, I used to at the start but I guess that's normal to stop feeling like that after a few years. I have had my own issues and am someone who always tries to keep the head up, dont feel sorry for yourself and when I think Im heading towards what would be depression I suppose I dig the heels in and work my ass off as I think feelings of malaise like that just grow with inactivity and stagnancy.
So I know a proposal is coming over next year or so. I know its what he wants and I said its what I want if we are to stay together, and obviously if things are going well! But there's something keeps telling me I need space away from the relationship, like my head is a muddle and that maybe this is not what I really want. But I know my partner would not have this, he doesn't believe in breaks or that, its all or nothing. So in essence what I'm wondering if there is anyone who had similar doubts about a relationship and then when proposed to you felt different and the thing missing was maybe security/ a sense of moving forward? Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

I am a friend

It just sounds like you are taking it all for granted. Can you see yourself with someone else? having kids with guy? would you be happy to wak eup beside him every morning?

LegacyUser

Thanks, yes i know I am taking things for granted. I try not to!! I certainly don't have much and I'm not one whos put a lot of importance on the usual things you should want in life, marraige, kids, house, so it feels like i would be falling into it and I suppose I'm worried by my lack of passion or excitement about a future with him. When I try to see the future I don't see anything, like I cant imagine it, which is ridiculous for being with someone so long!Just wondering if anyone in a similar predicament, should I totally not be feeling this way? its probably not normal. And is it possible to stay passionate in a relationship when everything is so hard,and nothing changes, Im sure there have been many relationship casualties of this recession:/