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how can i win him back?

  • 11-04-2012 11:31pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi all, going to try keep this short and straight forward, me and my boyfriend broke up mostly my fault, i became very insecure and paranoid, i would depend on him alot emotionally etc. and i never stopped to think about his problems or listen to him properly. he felt he couldn't talk to me because i wouldn't listen, if he wanted to go anywhere without me i would freak even just to the next room to play video games, we both spent even more time together in the hope it would get better but that made it worse. so the last straw for him was my not trusting and it all came to a head and he ended, we do not live together any more and see each other maybe once a week but text every day. he ha said he is hurt and needs to not be in a relationship for a while, he needs to trust me and feel i trust him, he has not closed the door to us trying again but i feel it is only barely open. i am now in counselling for my problems and am trying to keep my jealousy and insecurity to myself and work on my issues, my ex has said if he meets someone new he will tell me and he has said how he wants me in his life, he loves me but not like he used to obviously from being so hurt. my question is how do i show him how much im trying to change and that giving us another go isn't as scary as it seems, i still love him with all my heart and just want him to be happy, if that means without me i will accept it and be happy for him but i just don't want us to give up too easy. any help is very much appreciated


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭girl2


    Oh god op, this is a tough one. In my honest opinion, right now you need to be concentrating on yourself and working through all those issues that have caused your relationship to fail. At least you're in counselling to try and get these things sorted. I think you're going to have to look at the very strong possibility that your fella isn't coming back as your boyfriend. He has mentioned to you about meeting someone new, so this is something he has thought about. And to be fair to him, you can't blame him. Just try and work on yourself and ensure that your counsellor helps you understand what a healthy relationships are.

    Hope it works out for you op.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭girl2


    Oh god op, this is a tough one. In my honest opinion, right now you need to be concentrating on yourself and working through all those issues that have caused your relationship to fail. At least you're in counselling to try and get these things sorted. I think you're going to have to look at the very strong possibility that your fella isn't coming back as your boyfriend. He has mentioned to you about meeting someone new, so this is something he has thought about. And to be fair to him, you can't blame him. Just try and work on yourself and ensure that your counsellor helps you understand what a healthy relationships are.

    Hope it works out for you op.


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