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Hubby does not want second baby

  • 11-04-2012 3:04pm
    #1
    Tired Mummy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭


    Hi guys
    Just looking on some thoughts for this. Myself and my hubby are about to turn thirty. we have a baby 17 months old which was planned afer having two miscarriages. A few days ago I asked the hubby about having one more baby and point blank he does not want anymore. Now I am not 100% yet either but have wanted two babies. He just said no way and he will never change his mind on this and that is that. He is an only child himself. He just said that one is enough for him and always will be and does not want anymore at all. I was extreley hurt and just do not know where to go from here. If I do decide I want another one and he doesnt what happens a seperation. I love my hubby very much and he the same but am so worried about this (he not really worried) I just do not want to end up resenting! Any advise please?


Comments

  • #2
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    This is more of a Relationship Advice question so moving there.


  • #3
    bouncebouncey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭bouncebouncey


    Before you can get any relevant advice I think it's best that people know whether you have spoken about this before.

    Most couples, IMO, talk about the amount of children they want to have. I realise miscarriages might have meant you were happy just to have your first child.

    But surely at some stage, before you ever started trying, there was a conversation about how many kids you wanted/planned to have.

    If he's been adamant all along he only wants the one then that is quite different than if he said to you 'oh yes dear I definitely want 2/3/4/whatever'.


  • #4
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    The miscarriages might have affected him more than you realise. Maybe he just can't face the thought of going through that again.


  • #5
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    You need to talk more to him about this, to get to the deeper reasons why he doesnt want another child, there could be so many reasons. His feelings on this are just as valid as your own, but neither of you should get to dictate what happens here, it needs to be a joint decision. (even though whether you have another child or not is pretty much yes or no thing, not something you can exactly compromise on). You might want to consider using a counsellor so that you have a third party to help you thrash out what you both do about this.


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