Should I let her move back or pay her side of rent and avoid her.

anonguest2

My ex (7 years) moved out 2 months ago. Still 12 months on tenancy agreement left, no break clause.

To cut a gruesome story short, she left me for someone else (and cheated on me heavily for over a month before I found out)

I never asked her to leave, I actually wanted to try and save it. But she wanted to continue seeing this guy, so it was her own decision.

There is no hope for us - she doesn't want to save it, I tried multiple times but she would turn up drunk or not turn up at all. I still switch between wanting her back and not wanting to see her again on a daily basis though... guess its natural.

She can't pay double rent, like most people. So I see 2 options;

1) Allow her move back into the spare room, until we/she finds a replacement (could take a while - tiny room)

or

2) Live on my own and pay through the nose for a year. £1500 a month. Would be a struggle but I can afford it... just about.

What would you guys do?

I would die seeing her on the phone / texting someone else, let alone if he walked in.

Interested to hear from anyone with experience of living with an ex after similar circumstances?

Cheers

Morag

Sublet to someone else, don't torture yourself trying to live with her.

SunnyDub1

Do NOT let her live with you. It's only torturing yourself.

Try rent the spare room out.

Distorted

Find another tenant yourself. Can't be that hard. Take control of the situation. I would avoid her completely and cut all contact, she sounds awful. Its bad enough the cheating, but the turning up drunk and not honouring a tenancy agreement - pretty awful, unreliable person. Do yourself a favour and avoid her, once you don't her you'll quickly forget her.

Glenbhoy

Are you sure that you can't get out of the lease agreement?

How long have you been living there? If more than 12 months, then I think (and I'm sure that someone with more concrete knowledge can confirm) that you can exit any agreement with I think, 6 weeks notice.

Johnny_BravoIII

IMO a lease isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Find somewhere new to live for the sake of moving on.
Give the landlord 1months notice & do everything you can to help him find new tentants.
Worst case scenario. You lose your deposit.

AnonoBoy

You have 2 options:

1. Find someone else to move in.

2. Explain the situation to the landlord and move out. Landlords are people too - you might find him/her understanding.

DO NOT let her move back in. Terrible idea for both of ye.

I Heart Internet

I was in a relationship that ended "mid-lease" as it were. She moved into the spare room and we got on with our lives in a very happy, friendly manner.

But - crucial difference - it ended on friendly terms with no cheating involved. We were both relieved to call it quits but actually liked living together.

But what you describe is desperate. Don't let her move back.....it'll torture you. Push her for as much cash as you can get out of her (2 months rent, whatever) and forget about her. Give your landlord notice and try to get a replacement for him/you. Oh, and pocket the deposit obviously.

Good luck.

I am a friend

I suspect you want her back under your roof for reasons other than paying her share of the rent, is that the case?

dudara

Are both your names on the tenancy agreement?

Either way, she has a moral obligation to help you financially, as she made the choice to leave. She should at least compensate you until you find someone else to share the apartment.

iguana

anonguest2 wrote: »

1) Allow her move back into the spare room, until we/she finds a replacement (could take a while - tiny room)

If you can't get out of the lease then get someone else to move in. If you think it will be difficult to get a tenant for the small spare room then consider moving into that room yourself and renting the bigger room.

skooterblue2

This girl is bad news. She made a mistake and she is a ticking time bomb (turning up drunk). Let her back over the threshold and she will only hurt you again. Box up her stuff. Get her to cough up for the rent as much as you can get her to. Tell her to go sing for her deposit as she walked out.

I know its hard in this climate but have dignity and self respect because she has lost hers, keep it brief and business like. You can do better than this for yourself.

Killed By Death

Johnny_BravoIII wrote: »

IMO a lease isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Find somewhere new to live for the sake of moving on.
Give the landlord 1months notice & do everything you can to help him find new tentants.
Worst case scenario. You lose your deposit.

I agree with this. Just leave the place. Right you might lose your deposit but that's better than wasting 1500 a month for the rest of the lease.

I am a Landlady and Johnny Bravo is right, it's not worth the paper it's written on. I printed the lease off the internet! Nothing will happen if you 'break' the lease. What do you think will happen?

Are you afraid the LL will sue or something? No way, he won't waste money on solicitors, he'll just keep the deposit and get another tennant.

Leave just before the rent is due and make sure to cancel your direct debit in plenty of time.

theg81der

You will have to talk to her as her name is on the lease. I would make it her problem because it shouldn`t be uses, and no I wouldn`t be getting wound up in what she can/can`t afford thats not your concern anymore.
I would explain to the LL and give notice see what they say, maybe they won`t have a problem but judging by what they are getting off you they probably will cause they won`t get it of someone else. The deposit is half your thou so your lossing 750e, not to much of a hit to take considering what you`ll save over the term of the lease and that if you guys had bought can you imagine the negative equity!

Lucky escape, she doesn`t sound great. Good luck Op!!!

Ps - maybe move into a fun houseshare? might help you make friends and enjoy your single life again!

Carriexx

Give a months notice and move out - you may lose your deposit - but explain situation to landlord and help find tenants - will do you no good living with her